Classmate at university makes me hate going + myself

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Hi everyone, I'm new here this time around but frequented the forums some years back!

My question to everyone is, did you go to university and if so did you have a classmate who took a disliking to you? What did you do about it?

I am a girl and 19 and there is a boy in my class who clearly despises me for some reason. He is a loathsome human being but our class only has 11 people in it and everyone else thinks he is cool and hilarious. He makes me hate myself and feel so awkward and as if I am an alien from another planet- I could never fit in or just go unnoticed in a class with him in it.

Did anyone have a similar experience? Or are you having one right now? Let's discuss it

there was a fellow in my classes in high school who for what? reason disliked me. he turned around and typed the f-word on my typing assignment. in another class, he pushed my desk into the aisle, earning me a dirty look from the teacher. i barely reacted and i guess he found a more fun target to torment.

I've had many, many people dislike me in my life--so I have enough experience to offer advice.

The best approach, to me, is to really ignore the guy. You're in college now; the guy would look ridiculous trying to play high school pranks on you.

Just concentrate on getting the best grade you could get.

Have you declared your major yet?

In 6th grade, there was a boy who would walk by my desk and sweep his arm across my desk, knocking all my books onto the floor. He was known to be a bad kid (some of the other bad kids laughed.) I wasn't a tattle-tale, but the noise was loud enough for sure! The teacher never reprimanded him or came to my defense.

I didn't do anything about it or say anything. I guess it eventually stopped.

People who are mean tend to like getting a rise out of the people they are harassing. The best thing to do is to ignore it. A lack of response defeats their purpose and denies the "reward" they are looking for in their behavior.

However, if it doesn't stop or is sexual harassment, I would talk to someone who can help put an end to it. I don't know what department you would go to, but I wouldn't look for your professor to help. Go to someone higher up.

She could go to a Dean if she's being sexually harassed.

Thank you for replying guys!

I'm from the UK so we don't have majors and minors, we just study one straight degree from the start, and my degree is in Russian. That's why my classes are so small, language classes usually are.

He's not sexually harassing me but he likes to mock the fact that I love the subject so intensely and try to get my homework done on time, and contribute in class and get good marks. It's the same story I had all the way through school but I thought he'd have grown out of it by the time he got to university. He's like a bitchy teenage girl.

Just keep doing what you are doing,
there probably is a way of shutting him up, maybe say that he is jealous of how well you are doing?

He sounds immature and childish. Also, I'd like to point out even though it's best to just avoid him, it's also good to sometimes stand-up for yourself.

If there's ever a situation where he mocks you in front of everyone, stand your ground. "So, you think it's funny to be a hardworking, dedicated individual who wants to earn their degree in the world so they can make something of themselves? If you think that's funny, I hope your ready to be packing bags at a counter for the rest of your life..."

Any physical abuse should immediately be reported.

During my freshman year in high school this dude named Duanye (sorry if I misspell the name) he likes to bother me when i am busy in school in class. For example from my memory, in world studies when the class was watching the movie, "Hotel Rwanda," he was throwing pencil tips at me and some of my friends. Me and my friends told him to stop it but he wouldn't. After a little while when he wouldn't stop throwing pencil tips, I was about to come over to him and punch him in the face. Luckily my two friends stopped me right away when I was getting up.

The other time he was bothering me was when I was in computer apps class and when I was busy with typing skills, Duanye was saying my name and I was like what, and he said nothing, so I went back to work. After a few times of that happening, I got mad when he called my name again. I said to him, "Why don't you just shut up before I slit your throat." Luckily I apologized to the teacher after that happened.

Here is one thing about me, you mess with the bull, you get the horns.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I had SO many experiences like that going through school as a child. Luckily it was much reduced in college. There was one guy in my night classes who, when he saw how well I was doing, arrogantly told me that he'd go out with me if I'd do his homework for him.

I may be a weirdo, but, an ahole like that is not even remotely attractive, come on!

I basically laughed at him because it was such a stupid thing to say.

He would pick on me a bit in the classes we had together (our class of 20 stayed pretty steady over 18 months), sometimes by saying my name or throwing things at me, or calling me frigid or butch (there were only three girls in our class, the best friend I'd made there and we worked together on projects was homosexual, so, it wasn't like it was something offensive to either of us... oh, the third girl? Better looking than me and apparently more normal... but, she DID go out with the guy and did his homework. She dropped out a class or two later.). His favorite thing though was really rubbing in that he could get away with stuff with the two instructors were had that were horrible misogynists (most of them weren't, but, these guys clearly didn't want women in their courses). We'd pay attention and ask questions and he'd snap at us, saying he'd already covered it and accuse of playing around instead of listening. Then this guy would be playing Hearts (computer card game) and then basically ask the teacher to repeat an entire chunk of his lecture and the guy would! Looking over our shoulders during tests for answers, never getting called on it, then if we got up to take a potty break, he'd yell we were looking at his work and the teacher would give a stern lecture on ethics, being kicked out of school and hurting our employment prospects.

Like, seriously!?! I couldn't believe it in college.

Needless to say, my friend and I kept our heads down and just got through the classes, we both finished our degrees... that lamo didn't.

I didn't have anyone like that in my next degree, though, luckily. They were all older than me, though.

Best of luck getting through it.
Like the others said, just ignore it (except for the guy who wants to cut them, lol, obviously his approach is different. I'll admit I don't stick up for myself, I am non-confrontational to a T, but, if I see others more helpless than me getting picked on, I do confront people. Evidently I'm scary enough when I get angry that they back down ).

You know the guy is a moron and your mental ability makes him a dwarf in comparison, he feels so inferior he acts out in a feeble attempt to cover his inadequacy.But these are all his problems, he has no impact on your other than like a fly or mosquito. Success is ahead for you in your chosen field that you passionately enjoy. Tell him next time he says something that you hope he finds something he is passionate about in life too, but really he is so insignificant he is not worth your time.

Don't let him get to you, he probably has issues and takes to bullying you to cover up for his own self esteem problems and feelings of inadequacy. If he goes too far stand up for yourself though, tell someone who can help you about what's going on and nip it in the bud. Don't ever hate yourself because some moronic classmate is giving you a hard time, instead, discover just how strong of a person you are.

I never had a classmate (at least not one I noticed) who took to instantly disliking me, but I have had a few teachers who did. they were jealous or had serious psychological issues I think but those problems were quickly settled, thankfully. They were promptly put in their place.