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23 Dec 2014, 4:17 am
23 Dec 2014, 9:44 am
Cad wrote:
I had a terrible time at high school. I was one of the most unpopular, nerdy people in the whole school. I got physical and mental torture from a number of people there, and it wasn't until I left my hometown and went to uni that I really opened up and was 'free' from any of this. I have a good job now plus make a bit of money from my hobbies (playing in bands etc), I've traveled overseas and I've lived in a few different places before coming back to my home town, and I feel like I've grown up a lot since then. I thought I'd never have to face any of my 'old life' ever again, until I recently got invited by a girl from my school to attend the class of '05 school reunion and I'm terrified.
She was friendly enough, and I'm still friends with a couple of the people from back then (who had great times at school and will definitely be there). I almost said 'yeah, sure, when's it on?' but thought I should read the list of people who are coming to the reunion before I do anything. A few old friends were there, and a few people who I've seen/crossed paths with since leaving who grew up and had been friendly to me were on there too. Then I saw on the list the name of a girl who made my life living hell and I froze. Suddenly all the feelings of anger, frustration and hatred came back. I'm terrified of seeing her again.
The only way I will ever get over her and her friends is if I go to the reunion. A lot of things that happened in primary school haunted me for years and years but after seeing my old primary teacher and talking to her about it one day, I suddenly felt like a huge weight had been taken off my shoulders. Plus, if I don't go, she will know I'm not there. I don't know what to say to her. I found her facebook page and it turns out she works at a bar in town which I have gone to a heap of times before. I'm now scared of going there again.
Why is it that things that happened 10+ years ago still haunt me? Does anyone have a similar problem? Has anyone been to their school reunion?
peace,
Cad
She was friendly enough, and I'm still friends with a couple of the people from back then (who had great times at school and will definitely be there). I almost said 'yeah, sure, when's it on?' but thought I should read the list of people who are coming to the reunion before I do anything. A few old friends were there, and a few people who I've seen/crossed paths with since leaving who grew up and had been friendly to me were on there too. Then I saw on the list the name of a girl who made my life living hell and I froze. Suddenly all the feelings of anger, frustration and hatred came back. I'm terrified of seeing her again.
The only way I will ever get over her and her friends is if I go to the reunion. A lot of things that happened in primary school haunted me for years and years but after seeing my old primary teacher and talking to her about it one day, I suddenly felt like a huge weight had been taken off my shoulders. Plus, if I don't go, she will know I'm not there. I don't know what to say to her. I found her facebook page and it turns out she works at a bar in town which I have gone to a heap of times before. I'm now scared of going there again.
Why is it that things that happened 10+ years ago still haunt me? Does anyone have a similar problem? Has anyone been to their school reunion?
peace,
Cad
I'm sorry this is still haunting you... but, you're definitely not alone. I was bulled in elementary school and jr high; verbal, physical, social attacks. I don't know how long it would've carried on, if I hadn't gotten so critically ill in jr. high... even the classless morons I went to school with wouldn't beat up a disabled kid.
I didn't keep in contact with anyone from school initially, though my older sister stayed in the area and would tell me about seeing people all the time.
I decided to come back for my 5 year reunion, hoping for some closure.
No one who had bullied me showed up. Some had moved prior to graduation, some had left town never to be heard from again, the rest... I don't know why they weren't there. The ones who did show up were people who probably never really noticed me, as I was so quiet 90% of the time.
Folks were nice enough to me. Even though I didn't get any closure by looking in the eyes of any of my tormentors, I did feel like a huge weight had been lifted afterward.
I was fearful of seeing those people but I went anyway. Score one for me.
No one treated me like a weirdo, no one totally ignored me, and no one was mean to me.
And I was one of the few who wasn't still living at home with mummy and daddy, so that was a boost to my meagre ego. 
I accepted friend requests from a few of my past classmates, so I occasionally look at their pages to see what's up. Everyone seems pretty normal. I've seen some of my bullies pop up in their streams at times and... and it's pretty apparent to me that their lives have not turned out so great. I haven't wasted time or energy confronting any of them, because I don't feel the urge anymore.
I hope you go and get the closure you need, so you don't feel the need to avoid these people in the future.
23 Dec 2014, 9:47 am
24 Dec 2014, 2:23 am
24 Dec 2014, 10:05 am
24 Dec 2014, 10:35 am
I'm past the anger, and I never want to commit violence against any of my former classmates - most of the bullies are now dead, in prison, or homeless anyway.
It's just that knowing how many have died without apologizing to me somehow makes me feel better, what with dying unrepentant being a damnable sin in many religions these days ...
24 Dec 2014, 11:42 am
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