I don't know how to get through this. Whenever I have to complete a major piece of homework, I get really anxious, can't think, start worrying about it and various unrelated things, often cry, sometimes meltdown, totally lose the ability to properly concentrate. If the instructions are very clear and I know what I'm doing - especially if it's something I don't have to hand in, or I'm unlikely to get wrong - then I can usually do it. But most of the time the instructions are so vague and with every moment I feel like I'm doing it wrong and imagine handing it in and get more and more anxious about it. It honestly makes me feel like a five year old child again: I just can't think and I just can't do it.
Often I do much of the bulk of the homework only to get stuck on organising it, on putting it into the correct words or format, or rewriting it so that it's "perfect." Because it never, ever feels finished, I'm sometimes even more anxious after completing it than I was before. Too many times I've completed it but just couldn't hand it in. I consider skipping school because I feel like I haven't done it well enough and can't face handing it in, but my brain seems to shut down whenever I try to improve it.
Tomorrow I have a fair amount of homework to hand in and I haven't been able to get it finished for the above reasons. I probably won't sleep, I probably won't complete it and I'll probably avoid school tomorrow and create even more problems for myself. I'm trying but I really can't even think properly, except to endlessly beat myself up. I don't even know why I'm posting this, except I feel ridiculously alone and about to completely shut down over this and posting my stupid melodrama on online forums seems vaguely helpful