Long term school project.

Post Reply New Topic

Usually I have no problems at school but recently I am getting overwhelmed by the material way too often. The reason is a long term school project we are supposed to make till summer vacation.

We don't know anything about the project yet - not even the title - but teacher constantly reminds about it during lecture: "Those information will be useful in your project.", "When you do your project pay attention to this.". Such reminders make me anxious and I start to stim badly to calm down or ask multiple questions such as "How exactly?", "How does it relate to the project?" to clear stuffs up which teacher sees as signs of boredom and lack of respect to his teaching methods. It's getting worse and worse. Every time I hear a reminder like this my head gets full of imaginations how the project might look like, how many mistakes I can make and how I have no idea about how to write it nor how to put the information in the project.

And the fact that at first we could choose if we want a whole year test or a project and my classmates choose project by overvoting me makes it even worse.

During the most recent lesson I couldn't stand it anymore and asked the teacher if I could write the test instead of doing the project because the project seems way to hard for me and I have "something like dyslexia" which makes me unable to do such kinds of projects even since I were a kid due to excessive functioning problems which show as struggling with planning and relating multiple detains in a whole.
I was thinking it is OK because he offered alternative test or project in the first place so they should have the same value so I was sure he will agree.
But he said "No" because I "can't use just theory without applying it to a practical problem" and ended the discussion using:

- Deal with it. Life is hard.

I wanted to say that I can use the knowledge in practice as long as I face with one information at a time but I couldn't say a world. I got mute, my eyes filled with tears and I felt a meltdown coming. I tried to stop it but I couldn't. I managed to whisper "Excuse me" and escaped to restroom where I spent another 30 mins trying to calm down. It was a hardest meltdown which I had since a while. Last similar one I had was last year - and the odd thing is that one was also caused by a lesson of this specific teacher - that time I forgot my long term homework because I had no idea it is the due time, he never writes down any important information and he jumps from subject to subject without saying what he is talking about so I get lost and miss a lot.

What can I do to deal with him? I feel like he is bullying me but I can't do anything about it because he is probably not aware I am disabled and I don't have any document to prove I am(I am diagnosed officially but I didn't get a document to show to people, how do I get one?) so if I tell him I have AS and I need some accommodations he will probably just say I am just making excuses. Or he might use AS against me. He often points out my mistakes in front of whole class so having fun of my As would probably also be fun for him.

Can't you get the doctor who diagnosed you to send you a form stating your diagnosis?

I'm really sorry that you're going through this, because of an "unknown" project.

I would try to take as much notes as possible, especially when the guy says that the content would be "important to the project."

It is possible that the teacher/professor is bullying you (he might bully everybody--he might have a feeling that he is in power because of his teacher/professor position).

Do you have friends/acquaintances in the class? You mentioned that it was a "group" project. Maybe you could work on what you're good at--and the other people could work on what THEY'RE good at.

It's not a group project, everyone must write it by him/herself, individually. And the result of the project decides if you pass the grade or not just like the end of year exam would. Basically no matter what you do, how active you are and how well you do all your homeworks, tests and assignments if you don't make the project you automatically fail. That's really unfair.

I could do it with someone but I would have to make sure our projects are not similar so he won't think we copied each other. I can't do it. And I was never able to do group projects either. In university I actually ended up doing 4 people project solo in a hurry because I pissed people off by trying to control everyone in my group (I got the job of putting it all it on computer, spellchecking and making it look good in Word but they were delaying with giving me materials so I couldn't start my job and I was getting impatient) and they eventually kicked me out 3 days before the due date, saying I was never in their group in the first place. I don't trust people since then.

And I can't make notes because the teacher says too much unrelated stuffs during his lecture, jumps from subject to subject and usually tells "its important to the project" after he explains the whole thing, not before. Sometimes he says it before too but I can't catch it is the case. For example:

He said "Those steps will be useful in your project." and I recalled the part of lecture he just finished and I found no steps there so I asked "what steps?" to a classmate sitting next to me but she didn't answer so I asked "What steps?" to the teacher and he ignored me. So I repeated "What steps? Because I can't see any steps in what you just explained. Is it some weird kind of 'steps' I don't understand? You used a word I don't get again? For me steps are 1. Something, 2. Something ...". The teacher answered "I haven't yet said the steps." and the group laughed.

And soon after he said: "It consist ideology and logical diagrams." and started to draw a diagram. "Is it ideology or logical diagram you are drawing now?" - I asked. "I haven't finished yet." - he answered. "But I would like to know before it is ready so I know how to draw it!" I said but he ignored me. After a while he draw 2 diagrams and started putting some information in them, he started with 2nd diagram "So this diagram is" he said. "Logical"- I finished, recognizing some characteristic elements. He ignored me and continued his lecture, I was right about the logical part. Then he moved to the 1st diagram and explained: "As you can see there are physical stuffs on this diagram so this diagram is physical.". "Where is the ideology diagram then?". "This one is.". "You said it is physical.". "I said it is physical because it is the same as ideology.". "No, it's not! Physical is something material, something you can touch. Ideology is from idea and idea is a thought, it's immaterial so physical is not the same." He ignored me. "You will be drawing such diagrams in your project." - he said in the end.

This teacher is truly baffling. At times I got such disorganized teachers who I couldn't understand so I failed the whole class. When I re-took the same class with a different teacher, I often got over 90%. If you can, try to avoid taking any other classes with this very confusing teacher.

Meanwhile with this project, maybe someone else here has studied your subject and might help you with it? What is the subject?

I wish I were there to help you.

Sometimes, professors can be confusing.

I would just continue to take notes.

It will become easier once your professor actually gives you the project. It might not be as difficult as you think it is.

The subject is "network designing" or something like that, I can't translate from Polish. It's about what you do to give all computers in a building/room connection with the Internet and LAN. I understand pretty much everything and I am getting 80% on all small tests. And if I don't understand something I have enough knowledge to know what I don't know and I am stubborn enough to ask about it till I understand so knowledge isn't the problem.

It's the organizational and language part that makes me confused, not the knowledge itself.

I am positive I will get the knowledge related part done without much trouble. I will just have to make it one step at a time and not try to compare more than 2 items at once to avoid being overwhelmed. But it has to be covered in a lot of beating around in the bush(did I use the idiom correctly?). I can't just put the data and leave it be. I have to make enough text to get the project about 30 pages long. And I have to mention a lot of legislations and rules to explain why I use this method and not another. I don't understand the legislation part. For me a device either works or not and what law thinks of it isn't my problem but the company that made the device.

Does that mean you have to look up Polish laws which relate to computers?

You embarrassed the professor when you pushed him on what kind of diagram it was.

Now, it's a shame the guy is as disorganized as he seems to be. And you do have a right as a student to push for clear information, but it's a right you may want to not always exercise.

And the guy is way out of line seemingly lashing out at you on previous occasions and pointing out your mistakes in front of the whole class. Not at all cool on the part of a professor.

========

If possible, and if it feels right, you may want to get an ally and talk to someone in student services and use the approach "starting to become a problem." Obviously, it has been a problem for some time. But understating it like this seems to give a bureaucrat a little time and space to catch up, and to want to help you rather than feel obligated to help. Might improve the odds in your favor. Still not a hundred percent deal, but then again, nothing is.

There were times in college when I did not have a single friend. That's awkward, embarrassing, hurtful, everything else. If you can walk in there with an ally, even a member of your own family, likely a bureaucrat will take you more seriously.

A resolution might be for him to understand that you have a learning disability without him being told all the details. You will do the same work as everyone else. You just want a little understanding. This might stop his in class criticism of you. And just the prospect of him potentially being watched a little bit from the outside, he won't dare punish you on the paper. If you do a good but not great paper, he might shift it down one grade but not more than that, and maybe not even that.

==========

You might be a story / narrative thinker, like I largely am! So, the case study method like in medical, law, or business school.

Putting stuff in categories often seems artificial to me and/or I don't quite get the point of. But it seems to be the way of the world. Or, one way of the world. Okay, fine, I can learn it a little bit like I might learn a second language.

PS Your use of the idiom "beating around the bush" was plenty good enough. It's just those four words, or the very similar phrase "beat around the bush."

It means I have to apply rules of this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ISO/IEC_JTC_1 into my project somehow.

I don't see why can't incorporate some of this into your project.

It's something concrete. It's there in front of you. It's about computer ethics.

I just think, one night, that you'll have to spend extensive time on this. The result will be a great project, I believe.

For real?

I can't see anything concrete there. It's just a bunch of unimportant text that got no meaning. I am not a language thinker. I think in images. If a text contains too many abstract/generalizing words I get lost.

I can't understand anything from it. I don't even know where I should look for anything useful for my project. There is too much of everything. And the language is terrifying. I don't know half of the words. I know meanings of them but I am unable to imagine what they mean in this context. For example "Internet of Things". I imagine the Internet as a computer and the action of looking for information in the web browser or a map of world with a net of random lines with moving lights and the "Things" I see as a clutter of random items like toys, pens, books, devices etc. I have no idea what "Internet of Things" might mean, because there is no physical stuffs in Internet since all websites and data are informations, not real items. Is the word "Internet" used in some other meaning here? Or is it the "Things" I get wrong? Or both?

When is the project due?

If th professor gives you a list of what he wants, maybe I could help you.

I have no idea when is the due. "When we finish the subject." - that's all he said.

Alright.

Today the teacher finally told us what to do and about how much time we have to finish it.

Apparently we have just 2 weeks left till we end the subject (which means - next lesson will be the last one) although he didn't precise it. I asked: "Does that mean we have to bring the project in 2 weeks?" 3 times and he started some messy monologue each time instead of simply saying "yes" or "no".
So it isn't a few months long project as he tried to convince us before. Perhaps he was exaggerating and other people were not scared like me simply because they understood he is doing it and I was the only one that was taking him seriously.

And the project itself seems pretty easy now, when I know exactly what we have to do. Especially since to my surprise we got the instructions in black and white in an e-mail. There is a building map with a few rooms and we are supposed to draw cables on it, decide which switch, router and wi-fi AP to buy and count the estimate cost of the renovation. I can do it.

I still would have trouble with the wishy-washy chapters but I told the teacher about it and he got surprised. "That's what you are worried about? It isn't hard at all. Just do some wish-wash." - he said. "I was never able to create wishy-washy texts." - I answered. Then he gave up and told me I can do only the technical part because thats what is actually important.

Now the only thing that still confuses me is a small part of the informations we got:

1st sentence mentions only 7 computers but there are 13 workers sum up and each of them should have at least 1 computer connected which makes at least 13 computers. How do I make 7 of 13?... I don't really get it.
I asked a classmate about this though and she said it is a mistake of the teacher so I should just ignore it. Perhaps I will do so. But it still bugs me.