frustrating highschool memories

Post Reply New Topic

There was some good and fun things that happened during my time in highschool. However, there were some things that happened that I didn't like or have made me mad. As a person who tends to struggle  with letting of of certain  things in the past- depending- and also knowing others can probably enjoy reading this because we as aspies relate, I decided to use this thread as a productive method to vent and let go of remain resentment.

I'm upset that I struggled academically. I'm upset that American History  seemed like a way tougher class then everyone else admitted. Other people  seemed to not struggle in but it was a nightmare to me. It seemed like so many classes in that school were SO hard and it was so hard to understand  the lectures get the homework done quickly compared to most people and get a good grade on the tests. Other people seemed to not think it was that hard and I never could understand why, it never madr sense to me. It pissed me off! It's like imagine having to eat pizza with no topping without sauce just cheese for a month straight while standing on your head with a bunch ch of baby spders. Imagine everyone in the world had to ro that for a month staright. Imagine how uncomfortable that would feel? Then imagine everyone  else in the world seemed to act as is no thing's wrong like lunch and dinner wasn't even the slightest  problem but for some reason it's difficult  as heck for you? That's how I felt.

It seemed  like no matter how hard I studied (which wad hard and took me like 20 hours to feel fully prepared ) I always seemed to get a failing grade. It always took me so long to get homework  done. But yet it seemed like everyone else could get it done really quick. I never understood  how they did that and it frustrated me. Some of the classes were so hard and took so much time. Yet most of the people at school took harder classes like AP and honors classes. I couldn't  imagine taking classes that were even harder then what I did. and these majority of people who took these hard classes never seemed to get stressed about school. It must have been easy for them or else they would be stressed. I never understood  how they did that. How many hours fid they dpend? How must faster could they study? Could they read faster? Not knowing what it was drove me nuts! Paying attention  in class and fallow in the lectures wad so hard. I never could understand  what the teacher was saying. They always  seemed to cover everything  so fast and I didn't get enough time to let thinks sink in- and that's when I did understand it. I usually  didnt. I always had to stay after school or come in early in order to get everything  and it was aggrivating. Yet again everyone  else seemed to just "get" it. It used to make me feel upaet and insecure about my self. I used to wonder if I was dumb. But now I'm wondering  if a lot of it was because I wad in a rich area and in a good highschool which wad harder then most highschools. I feel upset that I had to go into s hard highschool
 But I am sure if I went any highschool I still would have struggled more then most people.

One last thing I'm upset about is my resource teacher. I think what really makes me upset about her wad the fact that at the time I made my self believe that she was a good teacher but now that I look back, I think she was terrible. 

My school had a resource  room for people with Aspergers.  I thought that was great to have that in highschool and feel thankful, however,  I think a better teacher that ran the room would have been better. Her name was Mrs. Harris. One thing I didn't like was that I tried to tell her in details when I struggled and she never really gave me any legit help, advice, or any good solutions.  She instead often got overwelmed  and told me I wad dumping drama on her. I wasn't trying to let off steam even though at times school did overwelm me, I wad just trying to find someone to talk to hopefully offer so good advice and I thought since Mrs. Harris was the teacher to help assist people with ASD she would be a good person to talk to. Instead she made me feel like crap. She would just sieh and tell me to stop talking because I wad overwhelming  her. One time she even told me I wax a spoiled brat. It hurt my feelings.

So far I have mentioned pretty much all the things academically that upset me. Now I'm am going talk about things that have upset me related to social skills, making friends, and having a crappy girlfriend.

I'm mad that people in my school thought they were really smart and cool and we're judgmental making me struggle of making friends even harder. I'm upset my older sister gave me bad advice like not being myself, playing hard to get, and stuff like that which inevitably  caused problems in relationships  and made me more nervous  rocializing. I was happy to have a couple girlfriends in highschool but im upset that ended up treating me really bad and hurt me. One girlfriend  I had never wanted to play and do any naughty  stuff, instead we just talked and nothing else more fun. She never put out and we dated for six months. Worst of all my best friend started hanging out with her and u think he caused her to like me less and breakup. Sometimes  when he hung with us they would then ditch me. Onetime he told me to do something  which made her mad. She broke up with me during home comming and they eventually  got together as a bf gf I was pissed but really at the time more so now. I tried to become friends with her and put things in the part even though  she treated me like s**t and she and her friends  ditched me. I wrote her an e-mail asking her why she fid that and her best friend  chewed me out- cussing me out, telling me I'm dumb, that I need to get a life, and even corrected my Grammer and spelling on the message. I'm also upset that I hung out with these Gothic girls I thought were attractive during my senior year. They always  flirted and hitter on many guys including freshmen, in fact t mostly freshman but they never hugged me and that made me feel hurt like there was something wrong or odd about me. I wad mad during my junior year, I had to take a civics class as a freshmen and girls there laughed and mocked me in class. One girl I talked to just to be friendly  ignored me and then told her friend she wax on her period just give me a hint she was not interested. I went to many highschool dances but many of them I wad a long not in a group like the rest of the people and wished I was and that made me upaet. Especially  many of the people that were considered  my friend made it hard for me to feel included. It was like everyone  was having  so much fun bug me. I want to many dances were I never got to dance with any girls but other people did and never understood  why and it made me feel sh***y.

I'm upset that my ex girlfriend 's best friend chewed  me out on thst e-mail because she acted like she was my friend but then told me in the email she was faking it and never liked me - secretly hated me.

I'm upset that my ex girlfriend  hung out with my best friend earlier  in the relationship too. She said later on they hung out a lone. She also hung with other guys a lone as well and also went to many parties and didn't invite me where there was dirty stuff going on. I still wonder to this day if she cheated. That also makes me upset. I'm upset one of my so called friends yelled at me basically telling me how wrong I was getting all the other people in the group cheering for her because  she didn't agree when I said we shouldn't have a war Iraq. She was a friend and I felt like she was betraying me.

Sometimes when I tried to hang with people I were friends with, they ften wouldn't listen to me when I talked and often talked over me. This really hurt me. I hung out with people after school and the girls never made it easy to socialize. One girl thought was on drugs and the way she said it- talking down pissed me off. There were many times I tried to get girls to like me and it never eorked- a girl from photography,  a popular girl who had a crush on me in 8th grade.

A girl named bridget, even freshmen girls didn't like me but they liked all the other people I hung out with a d didn't understand  why. One girl did like me in which I thought was ver hot but she only lead me on.

I joined a sport which I am pissed at doing. I had to practice Tice twice a day early in the morning and on the afyernoon. My parents thought I wad doing a wonderful thing but im mad because I feel like it was a waste of time. I feel like I could have used sll that time developing a useful talent instead of row a skull boat. I was in the rowing  team and we condition  to race at  many rrgattas. Many of the races the coaches didn't out me in and when we did rave we would almost win the good races by like 2 meters. The people there pissed me off. The all had big egos, thought they were the bomb, and were as holes. I think there joke mentality made me more nervous  around  people which wasn't helpful. My parents thought they were s great people to look up too. I never understood why. Many went to ivy league schools but tnohey still seemed like cocky jerks to me. Another thing that bothered me wad again sll the girls flirted and hooked up with just about all the guys but not me and was upset because I didn't understand why. Many people talked about stupid things and did mean things. They won smash and break things, torture animsls, and talk about cruel things yet my parents thought they were a good inspiration  to me.

I'm mad that this one good looking Gothic girl didn't like me. I'm mad all those girls at rowing didn't like me but they liked other people including younger guys. I'm mad that this one girl named Dayna stopped being my friend because I went I danced with glow sticks at the "swimming pool" song and got them taken away making me look stupid. I'm mad this one other guy the mocked another time. I'm mad my ex girlfriend  flirted with other guys when we went out icluding my best friend and a girl who was working in my aspie resource room. I'm mad that my ex girlfriend  and best friend ditched me several times. I ad that popular  girl who had a crush on me in 8th grade stopped liking me. I'm mad these two freshmen girls at civics class mocked me when I told them to keep their voices down when watching a show where we has fallow a worksheet on. I'm mad people probably caused my ex to not like me by telling bad things about me and making her believe her. I'm mad when I socialized with my friends in a group they would talk a lot and kind of exclude me from the conversations. I'm mad I envited a buck of people to my senior graduation  party; got really excited  and only but 5% of the people  I envited only showed up. My last name is Hackett and this one girl used to call me "Wacket" a dirty comment and make a loud scene where she saw me. My rowing team had a special meetup with the whole team to watch star wars Episode II and I didn't see it because my risk didn't feel like picking me up. Many people often wouldn't listen when I talked and didn't understand why. I really feel like my best friend  betrayed  me big time by telling my girlfriend  behind my back that he wanted to hang out and didn't want me to join. I'm upset that one time him and her went to a football game, got really hyper, had fun, and then went to a party after.  When I told her I was kind of upset I couldn't come, she had an upaet pissed off look and was user that I felt that way.

As you see u was upset about a lot of social things and this pretty much covered it.

Well that's pretty much my rant about highschool. I think I feel better now and all the memories  probably  won't bug me anymore once and for all. I know this wad a long thread but I think writing it on paper or on a thresf is a healthy way to let go of frustration. I think more people should do It like this because I think it really helps. Well if you read all this, hopefully you go something positive out of it even if you feel like your not the only one going through frustrating memories and know there's others that can relate.

Most of the frustrating moments in this school year (9th grade) was when other classmates did not do their part of the project and I would have Anxiety attacks over the thought "I'm going to fail this project" and that might go into next school year

Some of my sh***y high school memories consisted of me getting bullied and picked on for thinking and being so different than the average Joe, ya know?

I'm sorry to hear you had such a bad experience. I've always excelled academically, it's just the social stuff that made it hard for me, I was always an outcast and something of a loner.

I was 14 when Columbine happened (on my birthday so I guess I was fifteen actually) but I noticed in the weeks following the shooting that a lot of the older students in my advance classes started to make a real effort to talk to me and get on my good side, which really freaked me out and then I realized 'oh, they think I'm going to be a school shooter' which I was both insulted by and amused by at the same time. I couldn't remember any of their names to put on a hit list even if I'd had one, but really I was happy just to turn in my homework and sit in the back of the class reading books.

I'm happy to read that writing your frustrations has helped. I have also found doing so to be a great catharsis. It was even fun to go back a year or two later and re-read my rants. I would often get a bit of a chuckle out of it, thinking to myself: "Wow, I was really caught up in all of that mess when I wrote this. Thank goodness I've now moved past it!"

I hope you have similar future experiences.