Cannot stay organized

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I'm so frustrated. If there is one thing that makes my life difficult, more than anything else even sometimes more than social skill problems, is these dang executive functioning problems.

It's not just me. It's my whole family. I feel responsible for causing my kids to have these problems, too, because I have been unable to teach them how to manage stuff. We are all so smart, yet lose one thing after another after another. It's the third week into school, and we have already lost a book. We scoured the entire house and even the cars looking for this book. So much wasted time, and we still can't find it. I'm afraid we sent the book to the library (and we own it and need it for school.)

The whole house looks like a tornado went through. I try to sort through things and get only so far before I am overwhelmed. I put books we don't need right now into boxes. But now where am I going to put the boxes?

The paperwork and books and dishes and laundry are piling up. My head is spinning and I don't know what end is up. It's not about setting up a system - it's about keeping it going. I need help.

If I had the money, I'd hire a personal assistant. But I don't.

Hi Nerdygirl

First of all: {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}

I wish I could offer a solution that doesn't involve a maid, or even an extra person like a family member who lives outside the home. I wish I could find that book for you.

I guess I would do the dishes first. Get that out of the way. Think of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Once your cleaning needs are met, then you could proceed with the books.

Take a rest every couple of hours or so.

Recruit your whole family on this endeavor. Really try not to get frustrated with each other. Eight hands are better than two.

I wouldn't be surprised if the book turned up in the course of your organizing.

Right now I am pretty good with cleaning since I know where everything should go, every item has a place where it should go.
Not like I am able to keep my surrounding clean for long - I make a mess really fast and my dad is even worse then me - but I can clean my messy room up within just a hour or two if I feel like it.

However if your house looks like I imagine it looks (every cabinet and drawer contains a bunch of random stuff, there is no system at all, is there?) you could try out the trick I did while cleaning my messy room when I was a kid and which I still do while cleaning kitchen cabinets (my mom tends to put grocery in random places so I can find all kinds of food in every single cabinet, no system there).

If your kids are small forbid them to enter a room till you finish because they might hurt themselves or find something dangerous. Otherwise - they can help you from now on.

Collect all dirty dishes you can see around and make a pile of them somewhere they won't get in the way.

Put EVERYTHING else in center of the room (I suppose I don't have to say to be careful with stuff like detergents and cosmetics, right? Put them in the area too but make sure they won't leak and dirty other items). Empty ALL furniture.

Don't worry about making a mess in the middle of room. It is unavoidable! And it is actually intentional and motivating! You will see a messy pile in the middle of room and will WANT to get rid of it so you will keep working, being bothered by it every time you take a break. It is different kind of mess than the one on shelves and sofa you are probably used to.

Once all shelves etc. are empty - dust and clean them co they are clean and ready for new stuff.

Sit down by the huge pile of stuff in middle of room and dig through it.

Segregate the stuff into smaller piles, a pile with clothes, a pile with books, a pile with newspapers, a pile with medication, pile with cosmetics, a pile with toys, pile of stuff that should be in the kitchen, in the bedroom, in the bathroom... and a huge bag for trash, actually a few of them.

Don't bother putting single stuff in places you would like them to be - it's a waste of time now. You will find a lot of stuff going in the same place further on. Focus on making categorized piles. Don't worry if you forget where a specific pile is. Put the item away for now or make a new pile if you find a lot of stuff that type. You can connect them later.

This huge mess step will take a while. It might even take a few days if the mess is really bad.

Make sure to take the trash out and clean the dishes pile because those are the most dangerous kind of mess. Other stuff should stay in their piles till you the end of the stage unless they already make huge enough piles and have a good place to be in.

The work might seem slow but every your move is a progress and once the mixed pile in the middle disappears the work will speed up a lot.

When the huge pile is gone focus on the segregated piles. Starting from bigger ones.

Segregate it more (throwing out what is broken, not really useful and/or duplicate. No! A dirty, long open, half filled bottle of rarely used detergent is not useful if you happen to find a fresh and clean new bottle).

Decide what would be the best place to put that kind of items in and put them there. You have a bunch of empty furniture to choose from. Choose wisely. It will be the place where you are going to put items of that kind every time you clean the house.

If you don't feel like segregating a specific pile just choose a place for it and put the the items there. But keep in mind that you have go through it when you have some free time. Taking it out, segregating and throwing what is broken, not useful and/or duplicate.

Once all piles are gone swipe, vacuum and clean the floor. That's it.

You did a great job!

Now move to next room and do the same thing there.

BTW. Changing placement of furniture is a good motivator for starting the clean up process. To move a drawer you need to take everything out from it anyway or else you won't be able to move it, right?

Disorganized? Join the club. Not only is my house a mess but I can never remember all the things I'm supposed to do. It causes me problems at home, work and school. The boss chews me out for not referring to a document I can't remember that he referred to two months and then he acts like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

At home I forget to go to appointments or make appointments for things like dental checkups, etc. It's really hard for me to see anyone or even call for tech support because they're all 9 - 5 on weekdays. I'm at school or work in those hours.

Why are all these places and phone services only open 9 - 5 on weekdays, the hours when most people are at work? I only have a few minutes per day I can use that stuff and I can't remember what I have to do in such a short time.