I hate being stuck inside
I hate school so much. I'm really smart apparently. My teachers always tell me that I am really smart. But this place is not for me. I get so f*****g depressed being stuck inside for hours with all these people that I cannot even begin to relate to. I feel like they are the ones who are on the wrong planet. Not me. They like being in this sterile artificial wasteland. I feel like a trapped animal. I have to just sit around and do all this stupid boring BS busywork. Put solution A into solution B and watch a precipitate form. Wow, so f*****g cool. How f*****g groundbreaking. How f*****g interesting to do something I've done a thousand times in other classes. My ass hurts and my muscles are tight from sitting all day. The dry, conditioned air makes my eyes and nose itch. The air outside of the school isn't better because it's just surrounded by giant parking lots and other buildings and cars and s**t and it smells like death.
School is an interesting system, like a giant computer, where the individual humans are the electrons moving through and providing energy to make various things happen, to generate the product that is more humans who will work in other buildings in the future. Buildings are bizarre in general. We generate these highly complex mineral based growths on the surface of the earth, and they take over everything around them for yards or miles, and we call them buildings or businesses or schools. It's like an organism unto itself, with each building like an organelle that provides a specific function for the maintenance of the system. But us humans are the life blood that moves through it and makes it do things. It has no natural function without us. It is not any sort of living system. Cities are just like some sort of parasitic growth that takes the life resources and energy from everything around it and turns it into large and highly complex, yet lifeless structures. Sometimes I'm not sure if it's the humans that use the earth to make the lifeless growths, or if the city uses the humans to perpetuate itself and take over life. Either way, it disturbs me and depresses me and I feel like an empty husk when I partake in it. This is not living. This is being one insignificant unit in the operating of a crazy machine that is taking over life.
But if I told people this, they'd probably just look at me funny and go about their business. So then I just go about my business. Fantasize while I complete empty tasks of what would be here if this building hadn't taken over.
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