Eye contact wile talking with people

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Think about the last time you were in a situation where you had to talk to people in a face to face kind of situation. When you talk with them, do u look at one eye, both eyes at once, or inbetween both?

I try to look at their mouth so they think I'm making eye contact. I have no clue if it is working.

I just look at the ground. Eye contact has been an issue for me my entire life, at first my parents thought it was ADHD but that was later ruled out.

If people look at me, I close my eyes actually or I close one eye so I can't see them.

I now look at the face, but do not focus. I still try to avoid the eyes. Managed to fool a staff member, and he was notified of my condition.

I used to look elsewhere, ie slightly below the face while talking. But that can backfire with some girls as they might think you are staring at their chest...

I usually look between eyes, it looks like you look right into eyes, but i feel really uncomfortable. especially when the person stands very close. When i was consulted in [url woman looked right in my eyes, it was creepy.

Last edited by B19 on 20 Mar 2020, 5:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.: spammer

my eye contact issues doesnt happen all the time, so i do great in interviews maybe because im aware that its has a specific time limit...but when i see someone unintentionally, that's when i avert my eyes....im basically awarded the snob trophy in my place.

Try talking to someone with shades on.

I do the same. Luke Jackson, the aspie author of Geeks, Freaks, and Asperger's Syndrome, writes,
"...I have found a compromise to this problem that I am practising and working well on. I look at people's mouths. That means that the other person is satisfied enough because you are looking in their direction but yet you do not have to have that horrendous, burning into your very soul feeling that comes with staring into someone's eyes."

I've read that book. It's pretty good, but it talks about aspies trying to become regular kids and do regular things like dating and sports. I think he should have discussed how people with AS live with their disorder and tips to being more friendly and social.

You can look directly into one eye for 2 seconds, then look elsewhere on their person, like their forehead or hair for several seconds, say 5, then come back to the eye for a couple seconds, then look off at an object for maybe 10 seconds, and so on.

They will be doing something similar. They will not sustain eye contact with you for longer than a couple of seconds, because if they did, it would mean they are trying to 1) fight you 2) have sex with you 3) eat you. For a neurotypical to have eye contact with another neurotypical, we can also have a much better idea of what the other person is thinking, but it's not sustained. Just a couple of seconds. And there is nothing going on in the actual eye. There are tiny muscles in the face that give expressions that neurotypicals can easily read and make. Dogs, cats, monkeys, and birds can also read these expressions pretty easily.

So if you can stand it, you can learn to do this little routine and it tricks people into thinking that you're not uncomfortable with eye contact, which makes them more comfortable.

If it's too intense, don't worry about it. Just look at their nose or forehead. I liked that trick of not focusing your eyes and looking at someone. I hadn't heard that before.

I've sort of figured out a way to keep both me and the person I'm talking to happy. I stare at their chin or nose so that I can pretend to be having eye contact while still paying attention to what they are saying. Most of the time it works.

It depends on the person I'm talking to and the situation. Sometimes when I'm upset I won't look into people's eyes or when I don't like them. It costs a lot of energy to do that. I trained myself to look on their noses so they won't feel like I'm weird or not interested but that's also pretty exhausting.

This is exactly what I do, and it's worked up until now. It's only the people who stare you in the eyes the whole time who kinda screw it up, but they are rare. I'm pretty sure that people always think I have somewhere to be though, because the lack of eye contact shows a lack of commitment to the conversation on my part. It's so complicated.

It's amazing how something so simple as eye contact can have such a profound effect... anyone know why?