What were YOUR paraprofessionals like? How'd you like it?

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Through IEPs, many with Autism and AS are followed around by paras, who "chaperone" them to make sure they organize their homework, etc., are not picked on, and stay out of trouble.

Remarkably, many Auties (and even Aspies) don't mind.

My experience with a para:

I minded, a LOT. I had a para in 7th Grade, and at the beginning of the school year, I knew immediately I was not going to fit in once fellow students found out she was following me for a "special-ed reason." I deplored it all through the year and was of course, not afraid to make that abundantly clear to the para herself, the faculty, and the inclusion consultant who otherwise came in once a week but more often than that whenever my rebellious nature against the paraprofessional prompted her to call her in.

When fellow classmates were asking about the para, and what she does in class, I'd say that she helps a teacher, and is sort of an "aide" who grades papers and helps watch the class. If someone asked me, "Why is Mrs. (Stalin) in every one of your classes?" I'd say she was only in the classes I happened to share with the classmate. I tried my hardest to keep it a secret as long as possible, and even if it was all in vain by the end, I kept trying, despising her, and trying to see if I could get rid of her somehow.

Alas, she was finally gone by the end of my 7th grade year. You could say she also ruined the end of it- My intolerance of her embarrassing me with her mere presence eventually had me suspended from school in the last 3 days of it.

The rest of my classmates enjoyed various games in those last 3 days- swimming at the city pool, cleaning litter from the side of the Interstate, and other fun things I missed. (When I heard of it shortly before the suspension, I told the inclusion consultant, "Maybe I'll come tomorrow morning ANYWAY to see how much I'll enjoy it before getting pushed out again." Then she said she'd be there tomorrow morning and if she saw me, she'd take me home herself and wait on the porch if my parents weren't home or awake that morning.)

I still feel a mild emotional soreness from missing those activities and still long to make up that missed time- wanting to do what I would have done that year, but with a different generation of 7th graders, as unrealistic as that sounds. Though my frame would look too old by now, maybe one day, when an age-reversal regimen (and/or de-aging machine) gets invented that allows me to look 13 again (though the height issue is a different matter to tackle entirely), I may get to have the fun in the last 3 days of 7th grade that I didn't get to the first time!

(Or if that de-aging technology is too far away, the Holoroom might come first, and I could wear a holographic "suit" that, from the eyes of another person (or camera), "shape-shifts" me into a 13-year-old, then I can open a program of the last 3 days of 7th grade, and finally fulfill what I missed for some time now.

After 7th grade, I had no more paras. I only got the same inclusion consultant once a week, and did not mind her at all because we could meet where no other student could see us. No embarrassment there, and I didn't care if other students gave me a hard time the next year because I was too happy about not having a para anymore to care that much. (Though I had to restrain myself from beating up anyone who gave me a hard time, even a midget who was 40-50 pounds my junior, who picked on me nearly every day, because the threat loomed over me of having a para back if I got into enough trouble.)

I wanted to fit in too much, so anything other than a para (or a separate LD class, which thankfully I never got), was acceptable.
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YOUR experience with a para?

Now, would you like to tell me of your year with a paraprofessional? In what grade was this? How did you like/hate it? What did your peers say about it? And etc., etc.?

More than a year. I had a para for a few years, mostly middle-high school, and what's worse is through late elementary to high school I was in the LD class for part of the day, not all cause the rest of the classes I was in were Honors.

Anyway, one para I had threatened me to try to make me behave, but when I turned around and told the principal on her, she flat-out denied it.

I'll admit, not offically diagnosed, but similar to an autistic/asperger's, I got really, really upset over teasing, and when rules were not followed and I didn't understand, to the point I would throw uncontrollable fits. But instead of making the teasing stop, I was told all these years it was normal to tease, and I was the strange one that thought they should stop it! Well, they probably couldn't have stopped the kids from teasing me, but I felt that lady told everyone I was crazy just by being there, when everyone else was!

In short and what I'm trying to say is, yes... been there, done that, it's not nice at all.

double postie

Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing about this.

We were very upset to see that for the first two weeks of middle school, our son was given a paraprofessional to help him "adjust" to middle school. On the one hand, it's very understandable that the school does this, to help an easily confused kid figure out where classes are, what the homework was, help him write stuff down in his assignment book. But we knew the lady the were using, and she has her own issues -- she shouldn't be a paraprofessional. Just having a para there stigmatizes the kids further, but then when the para writes down the wrong info in assignments books, rather than having the KID write stuff down themselves, it just makes a huge mess for everybody. I was so happy that the para situation ended after two weeks. I'm going to ask for NO para next year.

Our sixteen year old daughter (NT) was very concerned for our 11 year old (AS) -- she told us the things that she felt other kids would notice, that would hurt our son socially. We worked very hard to try and get these things eliminated from his school day this year (of course, the administration "forgot" them, even thought they are in the IEP). We are adamant about him not having a para, and we are weaning him off of any special ed classes. Up until lately, our son has been either oblivious or just quiet about things that he didn't feel were right, but lately he is pointing out that English is just way too easy for him -- and has been for years. Well, English is the class that he is in that is still "special ed". That's the next thing to go next year -- at which point he will be out of all special ed classes.

I'm totally for having support when a kid needs it, but it seems as if school administrations to keep doing the same things whether the kid has advanced beyond that support or not! They don't adjust to his current level of ability.

Thanks again for writing about this -- you're helping a lot of parents to make good decisions for their child's education.

Kris

I've never had one of those... I have an IEP, but no one who constantly follows me around.

When I was 6 or 7 we had a "class aide" - she was supposed to help everyone, but she focused 99% of her attention on me. She was annoying and I was too young to understand why she was even there. I never did like her, and she was always in my business. She even hovered over my table at lunch, telling me to eat more protein >_< I don't remember any of my classmates noticing her all that much, 'cause she seemed more like a student teacher.

There is one special ed/resource coordinator at my school who's always saying hi to me. He's so obnoxious and thinks I actually need his help. I always ignore him, and he's only technically supposed to interact with 6th graders, which makes it even worse. I never say a word to him, so no one notices that he's talking to me.

I will post again just to make sure you understand. please, for the sake of the small amount of sociability in your child, do not get a para for them.

In fact it might work if you try to use logic and explain in detail why the behavior is unacceptable and why they should stop, and if they have to be taken out of the classroom, tell them why, since they will not understand, though personally I didn't start understanding these things until I was older.

Also, don't force the kid to have a friend... that ended badly with me. Find other kids that are very similar in personality. I really understand this now, I really, really get along with very similar people, but put me with almost anyone else... I almost always hear in the end "You're a bad friend!" or even more interesting still what basically is "You are so unlike other people, I have to figure you out."

Special Education can often create more problems for students. While well-intentioned administrators and teaches think that having a paraprofessional shadow a student is a good idea, as you stated, it often creates an additional burden for these kids. It does make them more vulnerable to being harassed and teased. While I can understand that there are perhaps extreme cases where circumstances dictate that such support is necessary, in the vast majority of cases, I do agree that it probably does more harm than good.

@schleppenheimer: AS kids have enough trouble socializing with peers, so thank you for not slapping your kid in every special ed class there is and making it even worse for him. He's going to be relieved when he doesn't have to do any special ed classes at all.

While we're on the subject, my two cents on special ed classes? If a kid isn't in a wheelchair riding the short bus, he or she shouldn't be in those idiotic "special help" courses at all.

Children with Down's Syndrome aren't necessarily in wheelchairs, Selo...

When I went to my Special Ed school back in the 1980's all teachers had Paraprofessionals helping them out. Basically the function of the paraprofessional was to help the teacher with class preparation, controlling the class, watching the class if the teacher had to run out for second and sometimes bringing the class (or portions of the class) to certain areas.

Sometimes there was an additional person in the classes. These people were either interns or volunteers. They would assist both the teacher and para with their duties.

It's not just Down Syndrome... I can't think of anything specific now, except other autism spectrum disorders or seizures, but there are other things.

I had a paraprofessional from 6th grade till graduation. During the summer of my sophomore year I begged my mom everyday to remove it yet she didn't listen. During the beginning of junior year my mom wrote a letter asking them to remove my para. The school then called my mom and asked if it was me or her who wanted the para removed. Unfortunately my mom answered honestly and said I harassed her , so they never listened to me. I didn't need a para at that point. There were times were the para was absent and I had no sub. I did fine.

During my senior year, my last class teacher was absent, so everyone went home because it was the last class. I too went home while my para went to the bathroom. Then the next day my friends asked me “where were you? Ms. ZZZ was looking for you.” Then my para told me I was supposed to wait for her to come back to tell her I was leaving, because she is responsible for me and will be in trouble if something happened to me (I was 18). So all my friends just got to leave and I had to tell my "babysitter".

Again during my senior year, the principal observing my computer class and asked why my para wasn't sitting next to me (I was a senior). So my para started sitting next to me.

Jumping in on this (old) thread...

I am a retired public schoolteacher. My son and I are on the ASD spectrum. When I taught in the lower grades in my home state of CA, my specialty was to the at-risk or special needs population in the mainstream classroom -- I taught in the days when public schools could not afford a classroom aide. One year I actually had one aide who was assigned to a student but that was 3rd grade and he was wheelchair bound.

After retiring from teaching and moved to TX, I worked as a Special Ed Aide and would keep my distance from the student I was assigned to in the mainstream classroom. My son at the time was getting his own IEP for his Aspergers Syndrome and we were asking for a homebound tutor for his OHI. I remember my son (who was in private school at the time) and his challenges of being in the classroom and how his peers made every day miserable for him. That made me be very discreet as an SPED Aide as a result.

The irony of my discretion is that it ended up backfiring on the parents of the student I was assigned to. They hired a lawyer to get him a SPED one on one aide in the classroom. I ended up helping the teacher and other students as the child I was assigned to do did a wonderful job on his own with few cues from me. He was always on task and did not need my help in the classroom. I would shadow him at recess and lunch to be sure socially he did okay and again, it was from a distance. The recess and lunch kids all thought I was a regular aide and kept me busy. It got to the point where he was successfully mainstreamed by mid-year that other teachers complained WHY this one (lower grade) teacher got a full time classroom aide (I was helping with small groups and grading.).

So, the district did its due diligence and discovered how well the student did on his own. I ended up being transferred to another SPED assignment in the district. I found out later that the parents tried to get another aide but the evidence by the district prevented one from being assigned. So, please be careful with this, parents... if an aide is assigned, there needs to be evidence that they are needed for that one-on-one assignment. I loved my assignment. But I had nothing to do. And I do not blame the classroom teacher for taking the opportunity for using my skills on a daily basis. If I didn't do something, I would sit on a chair from 8-3 and do nothing. (I do know of paras who do this... they bring a book, iPhone or knit while supervising the SPED student. But that is a whole other thread.)