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Elensar
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Joined: 28 Nov 2012
Age: 35
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03 Aug 2015, 10:59 pm

I've got new roommates. I'm worried that it won't work out well, because they are from a foreign country. My last roommate that I had that was foreign, was from Nigeria. Things got really bad with him. I wanted to kill him at times. I'm not sure how much of it was his problem and how much of it was because of my Asperger's (I unintentionally offended him a number of times). My new roommates are from Africa I think, but I don't know which country. If they are from Nigeria, I could run into some of the same problems I did before, if I do something that is offensive in that culture(s).



Beau
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07 Aug 2015, 1:17 am

Hey Elensar.

Be upfront with your new roommates, and tell them that if there's something that you do that they consider offensive, then ask them to talk to you about it. Communication is a two-way street; try to keep an open dialogue with them. Think before you speak. Be patient. Sometimes if you feel that you're not being heard or you need to blow off some steam, then tell them that you need to go for a walk and you'll resume the conversation when you're in a calmer mood.


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Don't settle for someone who doesn't see your worth.


Caelum
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10 Aug 2015, 3:52 pm

Everyone is different, people from the same country are not the same and won't necessarily be offended at the same things. Also, it is easy to misinterpret behavior, meaning, what you think is someone being offended might not be. Communication is key. Be upfront and open with expectations and behaviors. Often people are offended when expectations aren't met, so it's good to clarify those.
Good luck and stay safe.



Claradoon
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Joined: 23 Aug 2006
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08 Feb 2016, 8:33 am

Can you find a communicator? It's been years but I still regret not getting that African to the Group around the corner. He was at least 6'5", wore a huge afro and some kind of cape, and he walked in the street in the traffic, not on the sidewalk. Traffic was slow and he took a space in traffic just like he was a car. He had a walking stick taller than he was. The police pulled up and said, "Sir, please walk on the sidewalk." The African started screeching about his rights and went on and on. I don't know how it ended but it was obviously a misunderstanding. The African didn't know walking in traffic is illegal in Canada. It still bothers me that I couldn't help him.

So I'm thinking if you can have somebody to call that you both trust - the group I was thinking of was The African Students of the University. I wasn't sure exactly where they were and whether there was enough time, so I kept going.

I wish you well.