My mom isn't very enthusiastic about my college list.

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My mom doesn't like that the colleges I want to apply to are really far away from California where we live. They're not out of the country but in states like Vermont and Florida. When I tell her about them she seems to like them fairly well mostly because they're all small schools (<1,000 students being the minimum) but I think she's worried that I might get in to some sort of trouble and she wouldn't be able to do anything about it. I do have Asperger's syndrome but I'm not stupid and I can't help but be insulted by her distrust in me. I admit that I do have a lot to learn in order to live independently but I'm willing to do almost anything, including going to a life skills training program for disabled people like me even though I hate therapists. It's very frustrating that my mom doesn't seem exciting about these amazing schools because I am very much. It seriously hurts my morale. If I never take these kinds of chances and constantly live in fear, how will I ever learn how to fully function in the big world? So I ask the more experienced Aspies out there what I should do because I need my mom on board with this.

Going away for college is a good thing -- you should be excited about the wonderful opportunities!

You mom is just being a mom. Almost all parents worry about their children leaving home. Just tell her you will find lots of wonderful friends, learn great things, and have plenty of support. And that you'll send her pictures.

Yep, that's a mother doing her mom thing. My mom did the same thing when I first moved out. Just assure her that everything will be okay, and that you'll keep in close contact. She'll feel much more secure and at ease if you keep her in the loop about how you're doing. I know it's annoying from your perspective, but try not to look at it as her having no confidence in you. You're still her baby (figuratively) in her eyes, and a lot of parents have a hard time "letting go" as their children start to become more independent.

If I had doubts as to whether my child would be ok away at college, I'd say "Only go if you can pay for it yourself." Too many kids screw around the first year or two at college because they lack the maturity.

Some get drunk and sucked into the party scene, others just can't make the transition and be responsible. There can be consequences, such as wasting large amounts of money, ruining one's GPA, or even getting kicked out of school for poor grades.

It's up to you and your mother to decide if you are one of those people, or if you are able to care for yourself. Even NT kids are often just not ready, even when they think that they are.

Any reason you want to go to school on the other side of the country?

Financially, I would advise you to consider attending a community college in your area (not necessarily across the street from mom). Completing your core classes at a community college is super cheap and most students get better grades at community colleges compared with universities where classes can have hundreds of students and the instructors don't know or care who you are. When you are close to graduating, you can transfer almost all of your class credits to a university so that your degree is from a recognized university. A LOT of university students do this and are very glad they did, because your student-loan debts can be huge at a university.

Current student in the system here, consider spending your first year or two in state so you get a feel for school at a much cheaper price. There are also transfer programs out there that can help you switch to other schools of your choice across the country, while still keeping in state tuition. After a year in that state you can then make the complete transfer and be eligible for in state tuition. The biggest mistake to make is living the "bohemian" lifestyle, I did it. The worlds harder on us than most, so consider going for a more realistic degree to not shoot yourself in the foot on finding a career after school, such as STEM, Buisness, Agriculture, etc..... the liberal arts and sciences tend to be where people run into large amounts of trouble, unless it's Programming. Gaining independence and learning to live on your own are very important skills, it's good that you already want to go that direction.

I would suggest staying close to your support systems, you'll need them in school as well as a ton of other thins or at least that has been my experience.

Getting as far away as you can from home to go to college isn't always so great, especially if as you say there is still a lot you need to learn to live independently. I understand the appeal but your mom might have valid concern. How well do you cope with stress on your own? I mean you could go to some kind of life skills training program...but don't expect the college to have one set up or even be able to point you in the right direction...if you don't already have friends at these schools you will show up with no support network for if you do have emotional turmoil and need some support.

Do you know anything about Florida or Vermont, are you sure these are states you would want to spend any amount of time in? Have you researched living costs to find if it's more expensive or less expensive than where you live for buying food and other basics you'd need....have you lived outside California before?

I mean I don't think your mom thinks you're stupid but a big move, all the way to the other side of the country to attend a university where you don't even know anyone yet is going to be stressful...if you don't end up making friends it can be very lonely, if you do end up making friends you may not be able to depend on them and they might even take advantage of you.

I am not trying to convince you not to consider those schools, just hoping you've thought about all this. I tried going to college just in towns far from where I lived and it did not work out very well, but that was just different towns not states away. Often I wanted nothing more than to just go home.

i went to college close to home, but i lived on campus. it was a good experience. if you are a good student now, i don't see things being any different no matter where you go. go where they will teach what you want to learn.

Everyone's situation is of course different and individual. But I'm much more positive about the opportunities you will have than some people here. In financial terms it is true that you have to be cautious, and taking out *loans* is almost never a good idea and should be avoided. However, if you can get by with grants/scholarships, part-time campus jobs, and family payments, then I think going away to college will be a wonderful experience for you.

Once you are accepted, ask about getting a part time job in the campus library -- that's one of the best jobs you can get, and it will immediately plug you in to the best groups of people, both students and faculty. You can also try to work as an assistant for a professor, either in a lab or perhaps doing library research. Attach yourself right away to good groups of people, and avoid the partiers/drunks/frat houses like the plague. There will be plenty of niches for you.

Care to mention what colleges you are considering? There are many good small places in Vermont, as you know already.