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W91T
Toucan
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13 Jul 2016, 3:13 pm

Hi. I have problems being in large crowds, so when I have to get books or switch classroom, I block my surroundings from my mind. When I actually do notice a face I recognize I try to say hi, but for some reason I'm not able to say it before it's too late. People think I'm stuck up because they think I'm ignoring them on purpose, which makes me afraid of meeting people I know or people I'm going to meet again. I've tried to look after people now more often, but it makes me stare at people because I try to recognize them, which gives people the wrong idea.

Anyone who knows what I should do?



Aspertastic424
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15 Jul 2016, 7:01 pm

Just practice saying hi a few times.

It might be hard at first.....but practice it, and slowly but surely youll get the hang of it! :wink:



fluter
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15 Jul 2016, 7:46 pm

This is a tough problem. I don't have any advice for you while you're in the crowd.

But I'll tell you that I take advantage of times when I see people under circumstances that aren't crowded, by being extra attentive to them during those times. I assume that I'm probably ignoring some people at some points, so I try to be pro-active during times when I can concentrate on other people.

I feel like it works with some people, but some people don't forgive...and some people never cross paths under good circumstances. But I figure you can't win them all, just try to win what you can.



fluter
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15 Jul 2016, 7:47 pm

It just occurred to me though, maybe you could have your books organized at the beginning of the day, so that you can grab them without paying too much attention?

Or, maybe you could go to your class super fast, so that you can arrive at the door early, and concentrate on saying hello to people during the last minute, when you're already there? I don't know if it's possible to walk fast, if there are too many people in the way, or not.

I don't know if these ideas would work, but I'll keep thinking about it!



W91T
Toucan
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16 Jul 2016, 6:45 am

Aspertastic424 wrote:
Just practice saying hi a few times.

It might be hard at first.....but practice it, and slowly but surely youll get the hang of it! :wink:


fluter wrote:
It just occurred to me though, maybe you could have your books organized at the beginning of the day, so that you can grab them without paying too much attention?

Or, maybe you could go to your class super fast, so that you can arrive at the door early, and concentrate on saying hello to people during the last minute, when you're already there? I don't know if it's possible to walk fast, if there are too many people in the way, or not.

I don't know if these ideas would work, but I'll keep thinking about it!
'

Thank you very much for your ideas.

I know it needs practice, but it's so hard, but I'll try. I am trying to make sure that I talk to them during the day or before to many days passes, but there's also the ones I don't have a chance to meet as often. I guess you have a point when you say that I should just try to win what I can. It's just the feeling of not being liked which annoys me.



fluter
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16 Jul 2016, 8:12 am

I know the feeling, very well, and so do many on WP. It feels awful because it's not like you meant to hurt them or anything. They just don't know what it's like to navigate the halls when so many sounds and motions are all around, changing with every step.

Your post shows that you are a very thoughtful and considerate person, and that you're resourceful and willing to try hard too. I think that enough people will like you, because these are really good traits to have. It will probably take longer than other people though, and take more effort and persistence.

Do you have anyone who seems they could become a close friend, that walks the same direction for one or two classes? Maybe they could walk with you for some of the class changes, and point out to you the people who are coming up in advance, so you're able to look up and be ready to say hi? Even if it's only possible for one or two class changes, it could help.

Maybe a trusted teacher could help you connect with a kind person who walks in the same direction?



W91T
Toucan
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16 Jul 2016, 11:40 am

fluter wrote:
I know the feeling, very well, and so do many on WP. It feels awful because it's not like you meant to hurt them or anything. They just don't know what it's like to navigate the halls when so many sounds and motions are all around, changing with every step.

Your post shows that you are a very thoughtful and considerate person, and that you're resourceful and willing to try hard too. I think that enough people will like you, because these are really good traits to have. It will probably take longer than other people though, and take more effort and persistence.

Do you have anyone who seems they could become a close friend, that walks the same direction for one or two classes? Maybe they could walk with you for some of the class changes, and point out to you the people who are coming up in advance, so you're able to look up and be ready to say hi? Even if it's only possible for one or two class changes, it could help.

Maybe a trusted teacher could help you connect with a kind person who walks in the same direction?


Thank you. It's good to know that I'm not struggling with this problem alone.

I do have some friends in my class, but there is some kind of tension between us because of certain misunderstandings. I think I just have to wait until school starts again to see how it goes. I'm wondering if I should try to find a support group so I have friends outside school to talk to who won't meet me at school.