College Social Life is Boring

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So I am 19 and I just started college. I go to a community college and I have been getting really good grades from my teachers, but there is just one problem. My social life is completely boring! I mean, I get to my school at 8 and leave at 3:00pm and I have two classes in the morning and one in the afternoon and I usually have a couple of hours to spend in the library. When I am not in these classes I am mostly in the Library on their computer and I would like to know how to make friends. I have checked out my college student center but most of the time the people there just seem to be pre occupied with thier own friends and not really engaging with me. I would eventually like to get some friends as well as a girlfriend in the future but my school is just so quiet as compaired to high school. I would like to know what to do in this situation and how can I get more friends?

I loved college mostly because of the social atmosphere. Most of the friends I met were from activities together; lab partners, study group members, swim team members and through playing bridge. Then there were friends met and made through friends.

took me a few semesters to figure out... and really community colleges aren't great places to make friends because most people stack their classes as tight as possible becuase they have other things to do as well as school.. Work, kids, etc..

I eventually just started talking to this one table of people cause I found them interesting.. they were doing Tarot readings and I thought it was interesting.

Ok, any other ideas?

I can relate. I go to a traditional four-year college, and the social life is dreadful. I tried hanging out with typical college students, and went to one "party" (was more like a mindless gathering of drunkards poorly dancing to absurdly loud music), and I hated it. I tend to stick to a very small group of acquaintances and we watch movies and play video games, but those are things I could do alone and get the same amusement out of them.

On one positive note, I did become a tutor at one of the tutoring labs on campus and was able to meet some like-minded people there. I didn't make any "friends" out of it, but I have met some very nice, somewhat interesting acquaintances to add to my network. Since you're academically succeeding, is that a possibility for you?

I am not sure how to get to make more friends. I find I need a topic to start talking to people.

There are many school programs that I could join. Maybe I will look into that and see what I could find out

First, consider a 2+2 program so that you end up in a serious university later on in your academic career. That'll get you around more dedicated students.

Second, you have to get involved with school activities to find other students. Look into clubs and such that you're interested in. Sports maybe, or gaming or political clubs, or art groups, or maybe there's even an AS group. Academic groups as well, maybe groups related to your particular field of study.

Try a couple. Try them all.

Hang out with the groups that click.

It will seriously never be as easy to find likeminded people with nothing more important to do than hang out than it is in college.

I made my friends at Community college by joining the only club that was active and had people my age in it.
It was the International Club. I was 16 at the time. I'm still friends with 3 of the people I met there and this is five years later.

Get your Core classes done asap, keep a killer GPA.. pretty easy to do due to small class size and lots of teacher interaction.. and then go onto the biggest State University you can get accepted to and thats when you'll start meeting new people... that's what I'm doing.

Started out at a 2 year and then I'm hopefully going to be going to UGA in the fall.. if not I'll be at a slightly smaller school in a much smaller town until I can get accepted for UGA and transfer.

I can speak to one idea. It doesn't really help with the social concerns, but it is something that you are in the unique position of being able to pull off due to having fewer social investments to juggle on top of school. This mimics how I have gotten through college.

1. Keep your GPA up, but also take classes that will provide practical benefit for yourself. For me, it was IT classes (to learn a trade) and psychology classes (to learn more about myself). If you are able to obtain a good GPA (above 3.0), then you are all set for step two.

2. Definitely consider transferring to a 4-year college, particularly one with a reputable career services department and/or strong alumni professional connections and recruiting programs. Your community college courses should apply as transfer credits, and you would be able to graduate with the Bachelor's as your degree. If you get into the four-year school in sophomore year, and still keep your GPA above 3.0, then step three ahoy.

3. Accelerate your coursework. I gave up on socialization as a college prospect, and concluded that sticking around for the "college experience" isn't worth thousands of dollars in interest-accruing debt. Your community college courses should fulfill many general education requirements, and any of your other gen eds could be filled by taking CLEP exams. Thus, you can focus your university classes on your major, which you should pick based on where you could see yourself working right after college. That decision is a hard one, but it always comes down this triad: your skills, demand for specific jobs, and your passions. With preparation (which is easier to accomplish without a chaotic social life), you could be able to graduate with a Bachelor's degree a year earlier, and save tons of money and get an extra year of work experience in the process. Once on a trajectory for this, it is always helpful to keep this in your field of vision (step 4).

4. Get an internship. The summer between freshman and sophomore year is difficult to get an internship in unless you already have connections, but the summer between junior and senior year (next summer if you accelerate) is prime time for internships. Once you know what you want to do, I suggest becoming best friends with career services and learning the ins and outs about how to effectively craft your resume and interview. As an Aspie, this piece doesn't come naturally, but it is remediable if you start early and get plenty of practice. With an internship under your belt, getting the full-time job you want in your desired career field is far easier to accomplish, which will help you pay off the college debts as well as set you up for a career after college is over.

I am 21, but many have said that things get better for Aspies as we get older and as others our age get more mature. If that is the case, then making the sacrifice now to put yourself in a prime position to excel socially in your mid twenties onward (you can afford to do a lot more hobbies, your weekends are not consumed with homework, and you are now open to befriending more than just the very narrow age group of 18-22).

My two cents.

I'm closer to twice your age, raptor, and can affirm that your advice is spot on. In the absence of personal projects demonstrating a candidate's worth, internship experience is of incalculable value. And that means learning how to build an appealling resume and how to interview, and making connections with the right people.

In my field, computer science, I've kept hearing that there are more jobs than in the general job market, and also I've read that interviews actually test the skills you'll use on the job. I've read that employers in this field are actually tired of people who "can't program their way out of a paper bag!" That being said I'm somewhat concerned about that prospect, because I left so much gen-ed for the end that my programming skills have gotten rusty. I'm starting to resent my school for requiring so much gen-ed... The other thing is, I've focused so much on getting good grades that I neglected outside projects, which almost all other CS majors seem to have. This, I'm taking it, puts me at a HUGE disadvantage in that particular job market.

As for social life... fortunately, there's a relatively wide age range at my school, and the person I seem to relate the best to here is actually my RA! He's 25, pre-med, and a "nerd" in a lot of respects. He's pretty heavily into board and card game, and there's a handful of other students I know who like to play those kind of games as well. I'm pretty happy with this - I'd rather have just a few people I can relate to well than 1,000 people I can only marginally relate to! So if there's any piece of advice I should give from this, it's to focus on quality over quantity friend-wise.

I absolutely HATE community college because it's SO f*cking boring. Everyone goes there then goes home. It's especially bad considering I have social anxiety, and I'm jealous of my 4 year university friends. So I'm basically trapped in this torture chamber of being lonely, despite the fact that I won't be in as near amount of debt as my friends will.

I just finished community college and it was the most depressing period of my life. I had one friend, and I didn't meet him until near the end of the second year, and I couldn't fit in with the people in the clubs I joined. I feel like this has worsened my chances at a future social life, as I think my next two years at a university are going to be my most important years when it comes to making friends and getting a relationship, and if I don't achieve that there, it's going to get a lot harder.

I can relate! I went to a 4 year college where it was nearly impossible to find my own group that I really clicked with. Like your college, many of the people who went to UST went home for the weekend, went to parties at University of Minnesota, or just weren't really in the mood to meet someone new.

I had one good friend who I still hang out with to this day and many acquaintances, but there were quite a few lonely times I must say!

It's the wierdest thing. All the clubs were sort of challening for me in some way. I did crew, but had a hard time committing to it because of the early wake up times and my academics, I tried rugby, but wasn't that good at it (wished I had tried harder at it. I joined a fraternity, thinking I finally would get the life of Van Wilder: tons of beer, girls and prestige!

I got the beer part. But mostly it was paying to go to "secret meetings" and be around largely unpleasent and stupid people.

Even the clubs that came naturally to me (history, running, and geography) idk just were poorly attended and so very hard to find people in. To this day I am somewhat wracke with regret that I didn't make the right choices sooner!

Oddly enough, the closest I came to joining a nice, normal group was the local Catholic youth chapter, St. Paul's Outreach. Whatever your views on God/religion are, I think it is very telling that of all the kids on campus, they were the kindest, and most welcoming.

Many of the clubs and organizations didn't really meet, or were tough to join. It was such a challenge finding "my group". Still I hunted and looked though. Find something your interested in, commit to it, and see what happens. Look for things outside of college to if you find that helpful. Maybe a game store nearby ?

Of course, it may be a challenge finding a group. Even if you have a tough time with that, it's important to find constructive ways to "fill the time." Try to take a profound interest in your classes (Even the tough ones!), budget time for them, and find a constructive hobby or two. I've always found that helps if Im in a social dry spell.

By the way, I too surfed on school computers. It is a nice time filler, but there are better, more fulfilling ways to spend your time, to make yourself feel happier and more encouraged. Try exercising and running! It did wonders for me!!