College Pressure

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Tomorrow will be my last day of school as a high school junior and I'm expected to visit colleges and know which I want to apply to by the time that we return in August. I've been putting off researching colleges and the people around me are pushing me to visit schools this summer. Most of the issue is that my Asperger's is undiagnosed and I'm afraid that I won't do well being around people all of the time. My parents have a general distrust of doctors and will not let me consult anyone in order to gain a diagnosis. (They believe that a diagnosis would hinder me as I attempt to get a degree and in employment). I live in an area where the schools that are close enough to commute to either don't have my major or their programs are incredibly lacking. All factors in admission (SAT, GPA, etc.) for me are pretty good, so I'm not worried about not getting accepted into the schools that I apply to. I'm beginning to worry that I won't find a college that I like and actually wish to go to. I've discussed the possibility of taking a gap year, and my parents have threatened to kick me out if I plan to take one. Does anyone have any advice for an undiagnosed aspie on finding colleges to apply to?

I would search for colleges which offer "accommodations," even if you're not part of a "people with disabilities" sort of program. A place where you can informally talk to a professor about "untimed testing," or whatever. Speak with somebody from the "center for academic access" or their equivalent.

It's a pity that local colleges don't offer your major; you might be better off commuting to college, rather than sleeping in a dorm or off-campus apartment.

However, to tell you the truth, I wish I had the "college experience." I didn't---because I wanted to leave my mother's house, and I wasn't mature enough, anyway.

I'm also thinking, in a way, that you're like most kids who are transitioning from high school to college. It's a big transition; you are leery of the "unknown." This is how most kids think, actually. You are not alone.

I hope you can befriend people who are in the "same boat" as you---so you can support each other.

You don't have to tell anyone that you're autistic if you get the diagnosis.

You will not be able to get accommodations without a diagnosis.

It will be harder to go to college without the option of accommodations. I think most aspies could do it, but it would likely take longer and take more of a toll on the person's well-being.

NOW...in the long run, maybe it's better to do it the hard way. I don't know. It might be worse to make things so hard on yourself if you don't have to.

It's like going up a hill. There's mud and weeds on one side, and a paved trail on the other side. I'm not sure many people would choose to go up the difficult side, and I'm not sure it would make the experience better doing it that way. You'd be so focused on how much it sucked, you couldn't notice anything else. But you'd have the sense of accomplishment. So I don't know. Something to think about.

Tomorrow will be my last day of school as a high school junior and I'm expected to visit colleges and know which I want to apply to by the time that we return in August. I've been putting off researching colleges and the people around me are pushing me to visit schools this summer. Most of the issue is that my Asperger's is undiagnosed and I'm afraid that I won't do well being around people all of the time. My parents have a general distrust of doctors and will not let me consult anyone in order to gain a diagnosis. (They believe that a diagnosis would hinder me as I attempt to get a degree and in employment). I live in an area where the schools that are close enough to commute to either don't have my major or their programs are incredibly lacking. All factors in admission (SAT, GPA, etc.) for me are pretty good, so I'm not worried about not getting accepted into the schools that I apply to. I'm beginning to worry that I won't find a college that I like and actually wish to go to. I've discussed the possibility of taking a gap year, and my parents have threatened to kick me out if I plan to take one. Does anyone have any advice for an undiagnosed aspie on finding colleges to apply to?

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your profile says you are 17 years old. in the united states, the Regional Center only offers professional services to clients diagnosed before age 18. if and when you have a diagnosis, there is no law that says that you have to disclose to school or work. but if you do not disclose you cannot get a diagnosis. likewise, you might have some other condition, instead of autism. a diagnosis might help you, in that way. however, in the united states, you also have to be 18 or older to consent to getting a diagnosis. unless you are an emancipated minor. but since you said your parents threatened to kick you out if you take a gap year, that sounds like you are not an emancipated minor.

after you turn 18 you can consent to get your own diagnosis. the school i went to (ucsd 2007), told me that the diagnosis had to come from a psychologist that specialized in learning disabilities. and the psychologist could not be from school or my then insurance plan. so i had to pay out of pocket. at that time, with that neuropsychiatrist, the whole thing cost about 500 dollars. if you pay cash, your parents have no method of knowing you got a diagnosis.

look at colleges that offer the academic major you want. consider the geographic location. (politics, rural/urban). and price. and how far away from home. but, quite frankly, no matter how much research you do, there is a limit to how much information you can find out, without actually attending that school.

if you do not find a school you like and want to go to now, then what makes you think you will find one after you take a gap year?

yeah i am autistic too. diagnosed age 21. anyways. what i would look for is a school that is diverse. race/socioeconomic class/lgbt. a school that is politically liberal (they are not all politically liberal).

but the thing is though, you only have so many choices. there is no ideal school for everyone. and there does not have to be. just pick one where you fancy that you could passive aggressively tolerate it.

Unless you wanted to join the military, I don't see how a diagnosis would hinder you. If anything, it may qualify you for disability accommodations that help you get your degree. Also I don't really see the harm in a gap year. Some people do a little better with a rest between high school and college, and that year can be used to do things that can help you obtain scholarships, and make you more favorable on job applications. Perhaps you can have a high school guidance counselor speak with your parents about these things.

If this fails, you might try a study abroad program instead of a gap year. If you choose the program right, you might find one with relatively easy classes away from your parents.

As for choosing a college, those Newsweek "Best Colleges" articles are not really all that accurate. The only thing they really do is highlight which schools are selective, and more selective schools look good on job applications. While schools do give tours, these tours are marketing opportunities during which the school will try make itself look as appeasing to you as possible, and you will not hear anything bad being said. The best thing the tours are good for is to give you an idea of what the campus looks/feels like. To find out what studying at the school would actually be like, it's best to ask students who are already at the school, have been there for a while, and who are studying the field you are interested in. You can usually find some Facebook group for the school where you can find people to ask.

Also consider things like term length. Some schools are on quarter systems, some are on trimester systems, and some are on semester system. Quarter systems go fast. They are good for people who lose interests in subjects quickly, and bad for people who work slowly. Semester systems go slow. They can feel someone tedious but are good for those who work slowly or who are studying rigorous fields.

Some people care about class size. There are pros and cons of small class sizes and large class sizes. When there's a small class size, you will be more known to the instructor, will possibly get more one on one help, and will possibly be more expected to socialize with your classmates. It may be easier to befriend your classmates but having a falling out with one will have more acute consequences. With larger class sizes, you may go largely unnoticed by the instructor (I say "may" because this is not always the case) and will be less likely to expect to socialize with your classmates but will have more of a variety of people to socialize with. Some schools have large class sizes for lower division classes and small class sizes for upper division classes.

Also consider that some school are primarily research institutions and other schools are teaching institutions. At a research university you have more opportunities to do research, which can be good for your career, however instructors are not hired based on their ability to teach. They are hired based on their ability to get published and bring in research funding for the school, and they may be rather horrible at teaching, or outright hate it. I'm not saying this is always the case...most instructors do want good reviews from their students, but teaching is an art form that not all of them are gifted at.

At educational institutions, teaching is the top priority and you might get a better education because of it, but you will not have access to as many research opportunities.

There are two schools I would have serious reservations about attending.
1. The University of Montana, because of the rape culture there.
2. Virginia Tech. The school seems to have a disproportionate number of shootings and there is probably something about the culture of the university that's a factor in this.

Chronos brought up a lot of really good points.

abc0rder- whats the major you're looking at? This kind of makes a difference in what kind of education you need and other details.