Feel trapped...but also want to reach out

Post Reply New Topic

The winter can be tough in Upstate NY, but couple that with Long Island and NYC kids and the notion of a weed setting and having dealt with roommates who smoked, as well as sitting next to those who smell like they haven't showered for days and wrapped themselves in goose s**t can really take a toll on your skin, especially your lips. I use chapsticks religiously (not literally, but sort of figuratively) because my lips are so dry.

Given how the semester is halfway through (or at least, that's what the college thinks), I need to pick up the pace with my grades. They're not in a bad position as they were before, but I need to raise my algebra grade up and my spanish grade (it took a dip from an a+ to an a- given how I got an 88 on the test but it might be dropped, along with any other bad grades I have in math. Math is a C+ so I want to see if I can raise it to a B+ or an a), as well as work over the summer break. I also want to see if I can pay off my loans early since last summer I wasn't able to work due to how the family conducted a very large and long move and yard/garage say during april and may. april I had an internship planned but it was cancelled due to the company going through legal issues.

The summer was spent with the family fighting with each other. I tried taking a summer semester at SUNY Plattsburgh but it was too depressing of an environment so I went back home. I went upstate for where I went to community college (and still attending) and here I am. along with the spring break for when I'm staying here, I have to deal with the constant snowstorms for which it never stops snowing. Might as well call it Ragnarok County or something. I can't help but feel like I'm digging my own grave. Or at least, being at risk after I turned 18 like everyone else. It could be about the loans or the people, but I figured that if I manage to pay at least a fair sum before my next year, along with the tuition I pay with the money I earn for a possible summer job which I hope to get right after I finish my spring semester, then I'll still be in shape.

Of course, next year is going to be a main focal point for myself, since, in order to get into the college I want (Cal Poly), I have to step up my game with Sat/act scores and my Gpa (of which I hope to get into the presidents list with by next semester). Given how the engineering major takes 3 years, I'll move to one of the better doors and become an Roomate assistant. I'll have to find 3 "friends" who are interested in moving with me, which sucks because it's impossible to make friends up here since I don't click with anybody. However, I'll receive a $2,000 stipend, which will help greatly for tuition.

You can find the rest of the details about myself here:

viewtopic.php?f=14&t=360333&p=7830797#p7830797

I'm no believer in astrology, but it wouldn't hurt to have a nice, goth, scorpio girlfriend for once in my life.

anybody gonna comment?

I feel so alone...

Maybe you'll feel somewhat better when the weather warms up? Sometimes winter going on and on and on can drag us down more than we realize. I know how the stress goes with grades and student loans. Hang in there, if you can.

Your post looked like an update on what you are doing. It looks like you have a plan. Eventually you will get where you want to be.

Yeah, it seems my post has that impression, especially since the link was supposed to be an update on my status. Even if I do get where I want to be, there's still the notion of getting the job as soon as possible and working on sundays, too. I want to see if I can down pay much of my loans and pay the tuition out of pocket next semester.

I just wish I wasn't so alone when dealing with this.