Perfectionism and failure, how to escape the cycle?

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Hello, I am here to ask for advice (for which you will receive no reward besides my joy) from humans with all levels of knowledge about things.

I would label myself as a perpetually disappointed perfectionist. Perhaps this is a cover for deeper issues, but I cannot share my life story right now so this will do for the purposes of this post. I will 'aim' for the highest success. I will set those sights in my head. Trouble is, this isn't always possible. It isn't even often possible. And so when this inevitable fall from mindless blind grace eventually occurs, I become sad. This causes me to stop putting effort into what I was doing.

If this were behaviour was simply limited to my hobbies, this would not be a major problem. But, this behaviour is largely present in my university study habits. I will begin a period of study thinking that I can achieve greatness, and then put effort into that, and then when it becomes apparent that this will not occur, whether that be due to lower marks or a breakdown that causes a several-day stoppage of work, I begin to realise my plan is not on, and I begin to lose motivation to continue, and then I stop. Except this time, I still need to complete the work. It is required of me, and while my aspirations of greatness are gone, I would still prefer to pass than to fail. And so I put just enough work in to pass.

I think a large reason why this is the case is that I can only draw respectable amounts motivation for my studies (or anything) if I believe I can do something really great. When this day dream is ripped from my imagination, my motivation disappears along with it as well.

I am asking for advice on this specific point. What methods do you think I could use, in order to increase my levels of motivation for completing work that I perceive will be moderately competent. Not special, not just passable, but competent. Thank you.

On thing that helps is to acknowledge that perfection doesn't exist. By all means strive to be the best you can be, but don't be afraid of failure. It's trying your hardest that counts.

"Your work does not need to be perfect; it only needs to be better than anyone else's work."

Once I had this revelation, all the pressure came off.  I no longer had to score 100% on every single exam (only to hate myself for scoring 99% or less); I only had to score among the highest in the class.  And when "The Curve" showed that 45% correct produced C-grade results, I only had to achieve 75% or better to receive an "A".

The whole idea came to me after I first heard the phrase: "You do not have to be faster than the bear; you only need to be faster than the slowest person running with you."

You are a student. Why do you expect to excel? The point is to learn and develop the skills. And maybe that is your block--you are focusing on the results not the process. Focus on developing the skills. At the beginning, it is hard. There is so much to learn.

It is actually a bad sign if you give up because you can't succeed. That is going to limit you through your life. In my studies, I have sometimes repeated the assignment simply to develop the skills. Just because you have completed something, does not mean you have learnt something to the point of understanding. If it is hard, then push a bit more. The difficultly really represents how much you know.

Make your goal learning the skills, not the completion of an assignment.

how to escape the cycle? you could drop out take lots of mind expanding drugs. do you want to be don't that hamster in a cage, eternally, chasing that validation, from people who couldn't care whether you live or die, and just see you as a replaceable part, cog in a machine, not even , human.

^ ^ not sure how that is helpful...

That's what they said to 'ol Timmy leary. Squares couldn't understand he was just trying to be helpful. He's dead now.

...Please don't do drugs.

When I'm stuck with what to write for an essay, I write whatever comes to mind and if I'm stuck I write BATTLESHIP in all caps as a filler word and then come back to that section later. I like this method, since otherwise I can get caught up on the wording and then end up avoiding it completely. Besides, I find it amusing because when I do find something to replace the filler I can think ha I sank your battleship, take that writer's block. It becomes a game, which helps to motivate me.

I struggle with procrastination a lot and I have a habit of avoiding hard tasks that seem daunting. However, sometimes tasks that seem next to impossible aren't as big as we think they are. You've probably heard this before, but there is some truth to it. I know that when I'm struggling, I sit on my bed and open my notebook. Then I ask myself to describe what the problem is. I push aside the thoughts of "you're so behind that's why" or "you're not going to get this" and I think "no, what's the actual problem? What part am I avoiding? How can I break this down?" it usually comes down to 'I don't understand this concept and at this point I'm too afraid to ask'. So then I ask what I do know. Pushing aside any thoughts of 'you know nothing, duh' and searching for the basics. When I strip down the concept to the very basics of basics, what is it about and / or what does it do? Then I have something to build from.

Life is a lot of things simultaneously; a chaotic mess and yet predictable. Sometimes the most impactful things happen completely by accident. I know that I've had ideas that started off as a joke or just occurred from experimentation which ended up working out. Personally I like to pretend that I'm one-upping a vague personification of perfectionism that is trying to keep me from progressing. I know I've fixed stubborn code errors and remarked "Ha, take that, in your face life " when on my own before. Granted, that statement is quite nonsensical but it does seem to keep my spirits up.

When you break down procrastination, it is an anxiety that you'll never reach your ambition. So, as a response to this worry, you avoid the task out of the logic of 'well, I can't fail if I never try!'

But you have. You let that jerk win. And you know what? That jerk shouldn't win. Give yourself some rest, take regular breaks, hydrate, learn, and show them up. You got this far, they're not gonna stop you now.

I think now is time to recollect on the immortal words of intellectual giant (okay maybe not) poet Noel galagher said it best: