rant about college and grad school prep

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I feel really low right now with school and poor grades. I am a math major and I hope to pursue graduate school after college but my grades are really slipping and I doubt that I'll get into a good school. But the problem is that I find myself to be much more capable that almost everyone else and even mostly everybody in the honors program for math at my school. But I really hate classes and how their taught. I am forced to get good grades learning in order to be recognized by the professors. I really don't like the personality of the professors nor do get along with other math majors. I feel screwed after college since I don't know what else to do with my life.

Don't get overwhelmed by thinking too much about the future. Just work on cultivating your skill. Which is math, you are capable at it. You are very lucky to be capable at math let me tell you! Most people hate the classes and how they are taught. When I was a TA I was frustrated by how many of the students would sit through your lectures playing games on their laptops or doing their email.

It was like pulling nails to get them to talk sometimes. Yet they were all very good students - this is just the way it is during the undergrad time. I talked about this with them all the time, it is because they are being bombarded with so many things all at once, courses, directions, obligations etc... and they just lose steam. You are also very ignored during this time yet have a lot of people expecting things from you.

With talent, sometimes its like you have a whole bunch of empty glasses each one representing a focus, course or a skill and if you are asked to pour the jug of water (you) into too many of them nothing gets filled (and you feel low). If you want to be brilliant at something focus on just a few and just pour everything into it. Otherwise, its frustrating and chaotic. But then when you get to grad school you only have one or two cups, meaning you don't have to scatter your energies you can focus on narrower points of interest. Really, much better for anyone, especially one with AS qualities. So I'm sure you will be better there and worry less.

Professors understand, believe me, that students are not always going to be able to be in sync with them. They have seen it all. So really, in terms of getting along with others or the profs I would have no worries as long as you are not deliberately offensive and even then I'm sure you are young enough for them to just smile it away.

Take it one day at a time. Even if you don't end up using it at least you will have cultivated what you are good at. Most people don't get that chance.

Best of luck to you.