Tuition Rant

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I'm prefacing this topic with a disclaimer that these are just some of my complaints...

I go to a fairly inexpensive college -- compared to a lot of other colleges out there. And my parents make more than enough money that financial aid is out of the question. The major problem is...

They're so stingy with their money...

I understand that I'm 23 and I have a twin brother who's also in college, and a sister who's very dependent, and another sister who still lives with us but is fairly independent.

I understand that they said to me that the fall/winter would be the last time they would help me with my tuition...

However, I took out more than enough money in loans, and lord knows that I don't want to incur more years of paying back said loans by taking out another loan, but gosh! Every semester, my parents take me through this psychological trip in which I'm not sure if I'll be able to stay in school because I don't know where my tuition is going to come from! And then, out of no where, just when the school is about to pull me out of their program because I haven't paid for my classes, my parents say, "We'll pay," and they finally succumb to my grovelling, not out of pity, but because I've proceeded to show them that I cannot continue my education without them. But the job that I have right now barely pays for my gas every week [especially since it's retail, and it's post Christmas]. I didn't start working again until October. Did they seriously think that I would be able to have enough money by the end of last semester to pay for this semester? Oh, how daft they were...

At this point, I really won't be graduating this semester, and I'm only taking three classes in order to graduate. Just when things are starting to go well for me, just when my professor is offering me a job after I graduate, I think I may have to hold off graduating for possibly the summer. Except, the longer I take to graduate [I started college when I was 17], the more reluctant my parents -- especially my evil mother -- are to help me with school. I swear, they want me to say, "Please, I will give you my lasting allegiance! I will do all your bidding! You are the two greatest beings on Earth, and I cannot survive without you!" I think they do this to me on purpose. They're unbelievably cruel. They did this to my sister in her last semester of college, claiming they had no money to help her, and as a result she pulled out of school and stopped her education for a whole year so that she could get enough money to pay off just one semester. And when they found out she wasn't going to school, they called her a rebel. If not two months after she'd stopped going to school, they bought a Jaguar. A JAGUAR! And my father called his mother a few months later asking her for money because my brother and I had just started college.

I don't know anymore. Sometimes the feelings I have for them border on homicidal...I can never be free from this miserable place...

The good thing is that you are very,very close to graduating and you've been offered a job already. Thats impressive considering how hard it is for most people to land a job on their career field right out of college.

I'd say you're going through a basic ugly truth of life: sometimes you need to stuff your pride in a little box & lock it, do things you find objectionable, & take it in the ass in order to overcome an obstacle.

I will admit that what you said about the purchase of the Jaguar does show some poor money management skills on your parent's behalf. Thats just weird.

Hang in there its almost over and best of luck to you

That is kind of crappy of your parents. They might be under the false impression that you can come by money on your own if really forced to.

However they did end up paying in the end right? And they have paid yours for 6 years.

Why don't you figure out how much time you have left before you graduate, talk with the professor and see if you can work for him part time while you're finishing your courses, and talk with your parents about your remaining financial options. Perhaps you can take out an interest free loan from them.

Correction: they paid for two years and I graduated with an Associates. Then I stopped going to school for a year because I was between transferring schools and decided to try to find work with my Associates, but my parents got angry and told me to get a BFA. Then when I started again, they paid for the first semester, I took out loans for 1.5 years, then last semester they paid as well.

I know how much time I have left before I graduate: these last three classes are general education classes, and I've completed my requirements for my major. I'm attempting to see if I can work for my professor, but it's unpaid -- which I wouldn't mind if I had my tuition handled. She's basically giving me an internship after I graduate without worrying about the hassle of resumes, cover letters, interviews, portfolios, or references, which is awesome!



Oh, if only you knew. My parents love to, as you say, make us take it in the posterior. They love, love, love it when we come to them with no other options. I have a feeling that it's a God complex with them, and that they like to be in ABSOLUTE control of our lives. My mother much more so than my father. He's actually a bit more sympathetic. [Example: I'll say, "Oh dear, I wish I were getting paid more at work." And my mother will say, "Just quit your job -- you're not getting real money from them anyway." And I will say, "And how do you expect me to get to school and to meetings or anywhere without gas money?" And she will say, "Just stop driving." And I will say, "And how will I get anywhere?" And she will say, "Where do you need to go, anyway?" And I will say, "School? Meetings? Etc?" And she will say, "Just stop going to school. You're not getting a real degree anyway." At this point I walk away because we've been through this conversation before.]

There are more variables in this situation, that I haven't included, though, but your suggestions are more than welcome. I just don't understand how two people can be so cruel. I don't think they were EVER prepared for parenthood. And by the way, they are mentally abusive.

You need 9 hours?

Dude, that should be less than $2000.00.

Just get a loan, finish school, and get away from your parents!

Another $2k in debt sucks, but it is not the end of the world, and it certainly is not worth the stress/abuse your parents are giving you.

I was trying to say that since you are so close to getting out of the situation that cages you its better to suffer just a lil' bit longer in order to get out of it.

I think you're handling it very well. Hopefully your job offer may turn into something better in the short term so you can move out and live your life your way

Well, I'm trying to get a grasp on the situation.

You have 3 siblings...one who is also in school.

I'm not supporting your parents, but I can sympathize where they are coming from. A lot of parents don't weigh the consequences of parenthood. Providing for a child's education is not a small matter.

Some parents opt to provide nothing. Not that I have kids, nor if I did could afford to send them to school in my current situation, but even if I did, I'd not necessarily want them to look to me to open that door...my personal opinion is that you value something more when you work for it.

That said, I feel your parents are really being piss-poor about communicating with you what they are willing and able to do so that this drama can be avoided each semester.

It sounds like they feel 2 years of education is all they should have planned on paying for. That's sensible. Same thing my parents did for me. However, if they insist on your getting a 4-year degree, they should sit down with you and examine the financial issues about getting that degree. LOANS ARE EVIL (my opinion, granted), and making you go deep in debt for a degree is not being helpful, but if they can't afford to help you out, they should probably stop pushing so hard to go for that degree. Otherwise, they should agree to help you and give you some sound idea of how much help they are budgeting for. Frankly, talks like this should have happened before you ever went to college. Better for you to go to a tech school for less than 2 years, get into a decent job and work your way through to the higher degrees where you graduate debt-free.

I'm getting off track now.

This does sound like a power-trip kind of issue, but again, poor communication.

If you haven't been there yet, you will find that people think when they earn something (money) they should be able to decide how to spend it. Generally, this is true, but kids bring obligations you can't just put secondary to your own. Hence, you give someone money, you feel this need to have control over them. It makes sense, but with poor communication of obligations and expectations, it creates friction. If I had a kid failing school for no good reason, I'd surely not give them money for more schooling. At least that makes sense.

You also mention them buying a luxury car then needing to borrow to pay a sibling's tuition. Sounds like they aren't doing very well managing their own finances...which only creates stress for everyone else. If they are getting by but getting in binds then you need money for school, the frustration over the situation in general gets directed at you...the most recent complication they have to deal with financially.

I need 9 hours of what...?

In most systems 9 credit hours = three classes. If you only need to finish 3 classes to graduate, just bite the bullet, take the loan and get it done.

Then you can get on with your life.

Oooh. Well I'm taking 10 credits -- lab included. My father had mercy on me; he wants to help me. Now I need to work on my mother .

Easier said than done ._.

Don't know your parents, don't know their situation. But it happens. When my father went off to the U, my grandpapa paid - and kept a notebook, labelled "E's Debt". Which got paid. They did not do that for the other children.

If you want fair, want easy, find another planet. Meanwhile, looks as if you are making it and that is the ultimate point.