im taking 5 courses, should i only take 3?

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i got 12/40 on my 2nd year math exam. im totally disgusted. i must be a total idiot. i thought aspies were smart. im socially and mentally ret*d. i just stay in my dorm. i don't even know why im using my brain. im totally useless for university. i totally got disgusted after looking at this post here. http://www.wrongplanet.net/postxf60941-0-15.html

would it be better for me to be a janitor? what surprises me is that people think that einstein, newton, mozart, beethoven, gates and eddison have it. i think my psychiatrist thinks that i have mild asperger's and maybe this is why im stupid because it's mild. im also extremely ret*d with extremely severe mental ocd. all i do all day is think about one thing or jump onto other. what's the point of spending my effort and maybe some of my grandparents' money if im doing crap in university. all they been doing in their later life is caring and sacrificing for me. they should be spending the money on me if they are using it on me. why am i even in a dorm that could be given to other people who live further than me or have a hard time commuting with a disability. i also think i don't have any interest in academics. i was planning to go into chemistry, but i couldn't because of my mark and i don't think it will happen even next year. i'll have to keep redoing courses. im the last one to finish up chem labs and i still make mistakes while im the last one there.

i can't study in the first place because my mind is not concentrated in one place and i really don't like to study and if i do study, i get sleepy or tired. when i study, i read things over and over to feel the exact meaning and even go through dots on the side of the page by seeing them and feeling it right. it's like sweeping the words together and making weird analysis of it and not focused on studying. i have very severe ocd and that's why im like this.

Last edited by jus4u76 on 13 Oct 2008, 5:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

i think what you have described here is common aspie behavior and symptoms.
i know its been said that we have high IQ's, but i dont think we do very well in maths.

Such behavior and "symptons" can be Neurotypical as well. College is hard!

Maybe you need to visit your college academic advising center...take some career evaluation "tests" and determine which kinds of careers and jobs you are best suited for.
You don't need to be an Einstein to have a satisfying, rewarding career in this world.

You are probably not stupid.

Have you spoken to your maths instructor? You may find that one-on-one help during office-hours will make your performance improve in a startling leap. It feels terribly embarrassing, but top-performers very often ask for a little additional instruction, not to avoid failure but to get the A. It is part of your professor's job to provide this. People with unusual brain-functions are liable to find that thirty minutes of personalized instruction does the job that a week's worth of classes does for everybody else. I've jumped from F's to A's in certain subjects that way.