Do professional physicists spend time with their gf-s?

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My girlfriend had a problem that I spend too much time doing physics and not enough time with her. I believe it was colored by her prejudice against Asperger's. Her father has Asperger's too, and he is obsessed about watching TV (well, it is her theory that it is Asperger's obsession; to me it sounds more like something any lazy man would do -- just to illustrate the point of how lazy her dad is, he was refusing to go help his mom after serious car incident just cause he was too lazy to drive from AZ to NM; the very fact that she would blame all the misbehaviors of her lazy-fat-ass-father or her sex-obsessed-ex-bf on their supposed Asperger, alone, tells volumes of how she viewes AS).

My girlfriend seems to think that her dad's obsession is watching TV, while my obsession is doing physics, both are obsessions, both due to Asperger. When I tried to get it through to her that one is more important than the other, she said that to her dad the TV is just as "crucial" as physics to me -- after all, it is his obsession.

Now, the irony is that my girlfriend, herself, is a scientist. She used to be a graduate student pusuing ph.d. in biology (although she decided to stop at masters). So I can't believe she REALLY doesn't see a difference between doing research and watching TV. Rather, it seems like a prejudice specifically against someone with Asperger (who is automatically being lumped with her dad). If I was NT, then doing physics is a legitimate pursuit, and watching TV is being lazy. BUT if I am AS then both doing physics AND watching TV is simply a "simptom of a disorder" thus both are treated on the same grounds.

ANYWAY, ENOUGH RANTING. HERE IS A QUESTION FOR YOU. SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE DOESN'T EXPECT ANYTHING UNREASONABLE FROM ME. ALL SHE IS ASKING ME TO DO IS SPEND WITH HER 4 HOURS A DAY, AND ONE WEEKEND. MY QUESTION IS *IS IT MORE THAN AVERAGE PHYSICIST WOULD SPEND WITH THEIR WIFE*?

NOW I AM NOT ASKING ABOUT AVERAGE PERSON, I AM ASKING ABOUT AVERAGE PHYSICIST. I AM SURE THERE ARE A LOT OF PPL WHO SPEND MORE THAN 4 HOURS A DAY WITH THEIR GF-S. BUT ARE ANY OF THEM PHYSICISTS? PERHAPS SHE DOESN'T WANT TO LET ME BE A PHYSICIST BECAUSE ANY SIGN OF A PHYSICIST IS VIEWED AS A SIGN OF ASPERGER.

HOW MUCH TIME DO *PHYSICISTS* SPEND WITH THEIR GIRLFRIENDS?

OK, this is not what you asked for, but for comparison's sake, I am going to give you an answer. I am the one with AS, a semi-retired engineer. My husband is NT and teaches at a community college (in the arts). We have been married for several decades. He doesn't spend as much as 4 hours most days, on me. He is most certainly not AS, but has a devoted passion to his work. This is one of the charming things about him. It is who he is. When I am sick or injured, he is totally consumed with attention to me. But I am not emotionally needy, so I would find constant attention, just for the heck of it, downright irritating, if not alarming. Different people have different needs for attention. Sounds like your gf's need is very high, and that she also has a built-in, pre-formed "explanation" for your perceived lack of attention to her. She ought to know, if she thinks it is AS that causes this, that she can't really "reform" you. Perhaps you two are not so compatible. However, best of luck working this out.

OK, I am an AS IT guy so not really useable data for you but seriously 4 hours a day?
Are you guys living together? Where are you supposed to get 4 hours a day from to spend with her?
Certainly seems excessive to me.

I'm an AS girl dating a neurotypical physicist. We spend lots of time together, but balance our schedules according to each others' respective school and work schedules. On weekends we spend hours talking together, going on until 2:00 in the morning. On days when he is working, we spend maybe 2-3 hours talking or less.
Your girlfriend craves intimacy though, and needs interaction. I'd suggest you listen to her, while saying "Let's make our time together matter" and do fun things together, otherwise you may end up losing her for good.

Does the poll imply then that all female physicists are lesbians?

Is it 4 hours a day every day, 4 hours some days, or 4 hours on average? I'm a chemistry student and my bf and I are both pretty hardworking. I'm the one with AS. We have an agreement where we spend at least one actual weekday evening a week doing stuff together, so maybe for about 4-5 hours before sleep time. We also often spend time together at weekends, but it depends what we're both doing. Its just a suggestion, but maybe you could see if coming to some sort of agreement with her so she knows that for specific times she can have your full attention could help. Good luck.