I plan to record her vestige of betrayal with a cameraphone

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(This is a continuance of the last post: http://www.wrongplanet.net/posts83318-start30.html )

I wonder if I pretend to be on my phone while actually recording walking past her while she jerks her head.

Then eventually, if I show her the footage of her vestige of betrayal and tell her, "If you don't mellow out and treat me like a regular student you've never tutored, I'll put you on YouTube and embarrass you for being so cruel to me.," what happens?

What happens? Nothing good, frankly. Your efforts to 'set her up' like this will make most people (most NT's, anyways) think worse of you than of her. She'd be the jerk, but you'd be the creepy obsessive.

Honestly, all you can do is explain to her and whoever needs to know (preferably in a mellow, non-affected voice) that you feel like she's too uncomfortable around her to gain any benefit from tutoring with you, and someone else should be picked to do it.

Hey, I know how it is. In college I used to record passages for students with reading disorders on a microcasette recorder, and one guy told me he wanted to "try someone else". Here I am, trying to help him out (for a fee from the university, admittedly) and he basically tells me he's tired of hearing my voice? That hurt, ya know? But sometimes, you have to cut your losses and just move on.

no do NOT do this. this inappropriate in real life. it's unacceptable behavior in a civilized society.

The truth? She won't care. That isn't too much of an embarassment. And continuing to talk extensively about it will only make you look worse at the tutoring centre.

I know your entire story, from the first post. I know that it sucks. But for pete's sake(or whoever's sake), MOVE ON. This isn't going to get any better.

Also a plan while recording:

I find it kind of funny that you plan to tell her to "mellow out", because from the looks of it, you aren't so mellow yourself (as in, quite the opposite).
I would just kill her with kindness myself. If she flipped me off, I would just say "Good day!" and keep walking.

What happens?

She laughs.

Ask for another tutor after explaining the situation? <.<

Delusions of grandeur.....

Don't film her because you might be (I'm not saying you are) seeing signals that aren't there... not referring to the cursing though that's not mistakable. If she 'flips you' flip her back!

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I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )

The idea of filming her and posting it on the internet is taking things to obsessive, creepy, stalker-ish levels.

Whatever you've said or done that she feels is inappropriate, she's never going to tell you, because you've freaked her out. I can understand from your perspective why this is bewildering and confusing, because you don't know what you've done wrong, and you've asked her. But NTs don't communicate like that. They aren't so straightforward. They like you to be able to mindread. If you've said or done something that has inadvertently offended or upset her, asking her to spell it out has just compounded the problem, because NTs aren't that blunt and open.

If you're ever going to get to the bottom of this situation it's probably going to be through a student counsellor or something. Explain the situation to them, ask them what they think might have been the problem.

Continuing to hound her will just result in confirming her misunderstanding of you.

Hi! You sound really, really frustrated! I hope that I can help you a little. I do not have Asperger's, but my 14 year old son does, and he inherited a lot of his AS traits from me.

Without seeing the actions myself, I can't be sure, but here is what I interperate based on your description of the head movements.

- When you enter the room or approach her, she looks away.

Short explanation: This one is really common, and I am VERY certain that I understand it (I use it myself, honestly). It means: "I do not want to talk to you."

Long explanation: When an NT person enters a room, they scan the room for familiar faces. If a person in the room MEETS THEIR EYES, there is a social custom that requires the person already in the room to greet the newcomer. Usually, the greeting is followed by approaching the newcomer and engaging in conversation. By turning her head away, your tutor is avoidig the social requirement that she greet and converse with you.

You will probably feel that her unwillingness to greet you is an insult. However, in the NT world, it is not intended as an insult. It would be, in the NT world, an insult if she did NOT turn away, and instead met your eyes but then refused to greet and converse with you. By turning away, she is avoiding conflict with you, and is showing professional behavoir. She will NOT be disciplined by her boss for doing it.

Turning your head away to avoid a newcomer is NOT at all like flipping a person off. The meaning of the gesture is 100% different.

- When you asked her what you had done to offend her, she looked down/away and was silent for a while.

This is another fairy common gesture. It usually means: "I am thinking hard." She might have been trying to think of what you had done, or she might have been thinking of how she could explain the situation to you.

She answered that she could not give you specifics. Sometimes, people just don't like each other. This is normal and is allowed, even in tutoring situations. It is possible that she does not even know why she doesn't like you. NT people often make decisions about other people based on "gut feelings"--emotions--that they cannot explain. It is also possible that she DOES know why she doesn't like you, but she does not wish to say it. This could be because she does not wish to embarass you or herself. Either way, your confonting her will NOT help the situation.

Since this was last posted...Have you dun it already?

Yes I am curious to see your video, or were you just letting your frustration out.

i reccomend destroying HER life and then laughing about it.from my view, ignorance is the only thing that is ever wrong.but posting vids of her on the web will more than likely get your ass sued. you should simply decapitate a horse and leave the head next to her face in her bedroom. maby place a hidden camera or two to see her expression (joe at first, but upon reflection seems like a VERY fun thing to do!) but if you wanna take the moral ground, just get her fired, or let it go. id personally take the amoral approach and film her makeing out w/ a small child or something and that would get force her to register as a sex offender and would ruin her entire life *wipes tear* you would have to pay off a couple people for that idea though.