please!! !! !! !! !! !! !! tell me all your jokes!! !! !! !! !! !

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Q how do you stop a mouse from scweeking? A oil it!! !
haaaa haaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaa ! !! please please please ! !! !! !! !! more jokes!! !

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A white horse fell in the mud.

Well, since you're into animal noise jokes... here's two...

**Disclaimer: Don't try this at home, it's a joke not an instruction**
** I didn't make these jokes up, so don't blame me. **

Forget about animals making their own noises, what about getting them to imitate eachother...

How do you make a CAT go WOOF...

Put some fuel on it and get a match.


How do you make a DOG go MEOW...

Get a circular saw.



If you don't get these at first, just think of the sounds that these devices make.
They're probably jokes that work best being told.

Most of the best jokes aren't understood by young 'uns. Because, well, they're too sophisticated 'n' stuff. In't that right?.

It's funny that the two responses were from older people... (and my explanation of the joke wasn't because it was sophisticated but more because it might not translate that well in writing).

Ok... well, I'd better add another joke...

Why did the bottom die?


It had a fart attack.

I think those jokes aren't the best for young kids.

Here some. My dog can talk. I ask him what does sand paper feel like and he goes, "ruff ruff!" Then I ask him, what's on top of a house and he goes, "roof roof!"

Are you kidding... I'm from the generation that told jokes like...


Why did the first Koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree?

It was stapled to the first.

Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree?

It thought suicide was in.

Why did the fourth Koala fall out of the tree?

It had a grand piano tied to it's foot.

Why did the fifth Koala fall out of the tree?

It was hit by the piano stool.

Why did the Kangaroo drop dead?

It was hit by 5 Koalas and a grand piano.



but I guess it's not good form for a moderator to post questionable material.

In any case... Animal activists and potential psychos (not that they're necessary one and the same) ... Please read the disclaimer... it's not real.

That is a good joke, but I think the kid was looking for some one liners. Here's some:

How did the farmer fix his jeans?
With a cabbage patch!

How do pigs write?
With a pigpen.

How does a boat show affection?
It hugs the shore.

If a fifty cent piece and a quarter were on the Empire State Building, which would jump off first?
The quarter, because it has less sense (cents).

If six children and two dogs were under an umbrella, how come none of them got wet?
Because it wasn't raining.