Would Jesus vote Republican or Democrat?

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Title says it all. How would Jesus vote and why?

"I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me."
Matthew 25:31-46

"He who has two coats, let him give to him who has none. He who has food, let him do likewise."
Luke 3:11

"I'll say it again--it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!"
Matthew 19:24

There is absolutely nothing authentically Christian about an overtly racist, xenophobic, and misogynistic political party that tortures and starves the poor while exclusively indulging the obscenely rich. Jesus entire message was a rejection of what we now call 'social Darwinism'.

On the other hand...
"Satanism is just Ayn Rand's philosophy with ritual and ceremony added."
Anton LaVey

Republicanism is just Ayn Rand's philosophy with ritual and ceremony added.
A = B
B = C
A = C
Republicans are Satanic; not Christian, no matter how much false piety and sanctimoniousness they wrap themselves in.
What kind of assault rifle would Jesus carry?

(original here on the Scarfolk Council satire blog.)

I think Jesus would have strong moral convictions against both parties.

Few things seem to have pissed him off more than hypocrisy, and he wasn't a bit shy about speaking truth to power.

I think he would have voted for a different party.

The Jewish faith, the Sanhedrin was their government. You could say it was equivalent to the Republican side, but that doesn't really fit. Democrats are synonymous with omni-government (not debatable). The Jewish faith was their true government at the time and it was all encompassing. For a Jew back then, their faith literally governedevery single aspect of their lives from cradle to grave. That's a dream for most democrats in positions of power.

The Zealots were radical. They desired to work toward overthrowing the Romans for true Jewish rule. A government utopia. Think Socialists, Communists, Antifa.

Jesus did not approve of the actions of either.

Why don't you get down on your knees and ask Him yourself?

I don't think Jesus was political at all.

I think that the closest He got to being political was when he was bashing the Nationalist Sanhedrin and teaching His followers to "Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s" (Mark 12:17 NIV).

That means he advocated the separation of church and state----well before the Enlightenment.

If he was limited by the "two party" system in the US, I would say he would be "forced" to vote Democratic.

Like me, he would not have registered for any party.

Winner winner chicken dinner.

I agree
What I don't get is why some people refer to themselves as Christian when they only follow the beliefs of the old testament instead of the new.

If Jesus lived today as a US citizen he wouldn't be stupid enough to vote for either party, but rather he would form his own party and get massive amounts of votes to probably easily get elected. duh!

If Jesus walked the Earth today, he would likely be arrested by the Nationalist Right for sedition (because he exposes all of their hypocrisy) while the Populist Left screams for His execution (because he does not depose the Right).

History does tend to repeat itself.

Yep. The lord dost move in mysterious ways. Shame about my council.