Issues at work

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Can anyone else relate to the following?

I'm well aware that upon entering the office, I'm supposed to say a "good morning" to all and sundry, and upon leaving, I'm supposed to say "goodbye". Yet I find it extremely uncomfortable to greet or farewell people, so I don't. I know it's breaking a social taboo and that it's perceived as rude, but I can't make myself go through the motions.

Secondly, the more I seem to be around people, the less able I can look them in the eye or the face, to the point where I have to force myself to actually LOOK in their general direction. Otherwise I stare at some random point to the side.

Thirdly, I've become silent to the point where I barely say more than 5-10 words throughout the day.

I think it's giving my workmates the impression that I don't like them. I've noticed that I'm not included in any group activities, even something as simple as when workmates are heading down the street to buy some food and would ask everyone BUT me if they need something.

I don't particularly like my workmates, but I don't necessarily dislike them either. I'm neutral towards them, but I think I'm giving the impression that I'm hostile. It bothers me for some reason.

I can say hello to people, but only when they look at me directly.

It's more difficult with goodbyes

I go to my fysiotherapist twice a week, I always say hello, but never goodbye, I just sneak out the door

I feel so embarrassed

I have the same problem - I do my own thing and if someone talks directly to me I'll talk to them or if they bring up one of my special interests I'll tell them about it, but otherwise I read, work on my knitting, or play online (I work at a call center so there is a lot of between calls time) . . .
Anyway, 2 people now have said that I'm intimidating - and if I'm anything I'm not intimidating - I just want people to leave me alone and let me do my own thing - but I'll help anyone with anything if they ask me to - I'm just not paying enough attention to anything around me to know that they need something if they don't tell me . . .

I can reply with "hey" or just look at them for a second and raise my eyebrows. Hopefully the people realize I'm not into niceties. In my office we've had all sorts of grumpy people, most of them bosses, so I don't think anyone minds me.

I have noticed, though, that I don't talk to new employees (or learn their names) until they've been around for 6 months. And the cute girl engineering students still scare me away.

I hate when people say how are you I don't understnd the point behind this ritual, is it supposed to show they care or something? Ussually I reply with a simple "goood" or "fine" reluctantly cause I don't want to come off as rude. If I am having a bad day I usually say something like "ihave seen better days" or "hanging in there" or my personal favorite "alive"

If people ask me how I am, I usually respond, THEN return the question. Only fair, since they asked me how I was Although I'm puzzled when people say, "How are you?" and walk away. What is the point of asking me the question if you don't want to hear my response?

Speaking of which, thanks for your responses everyone.

I don't think your supposed to say what you really feel when they ask how are you. Your just supposed to say fine or something.

When I enter a room at work and there are several people around I say a loud 'hello' to one of the walls or to the curtains and some people respond to me with a 'hello' back. When I leave such a room I do the same. I walk to the door and just before I leave I turn around and greet the floor, or the table or whatever object is in the room at that place and say a loud 'goodbye'.

When I leave a meeting at work before everyone else left (very difficult thing to do, but staying as last person to leave is terrible too) I say 'Goodbye everybody' to nothing in particular and leave. I never wait for replies. When I enter a meeting it goes the same, but before I say 'Hello everybody' I check where I can sit. When I see a good place, then I say it and I will sit down.

I have learnt this by myself, looking at others. I never wanted to say 'hello' and 'goodbye', too difficult. But when you watch others you see that nothing really happens when they say it. And so I started to say it too. At first I always said it not loud enough, so nobody responded or even noticed or seem to notice. You have to say it firm and loud in order to get a respons or to be noticed.

I usually avoid going to bigger events at work because I really hate that. But if I have to go, I always come and leave merely unnoticed. I haven't solved that problem really.

I recently completed a traineeship in a Govt. Dept. I can relate a lot to what you all have posted. I have always never being able to master what to do during the breaks. I found the lunch room to be intimidating as people would continually come in and go out and I was never able to enter their coversations. So I mainly sat at my desk and read the paper but when I was in a sub-section of the office with only 5 other workers we were able to sit in our own lunch room and that was fun. I also had similiar problems during work social parties or conferences. (I would probably be one of the few people who never looked forward to breaks)

Other problem was being constantly moving around into new areas where seasoned admin. workers would often ignore me and I found it hard to fit in. I found the more accepting workers in the more specialised sections of the office.

Another problem is being asked to use office equipment that I didn't know how to use, it especially was diffiecult whem my supervisors who knew about my AS were away from the office.

The general rule is that the longer you are there the more easier it becomes, but getting started was very difficult and scary for me but I did learn alot from the expereince to be better prepared for next time.

There is a guy at my work who I think is NT, but really funny and when people ask him how he is he says 'Fine - but I'm sure I'll get over it . . .' - I like that answer . . . and if you want someone to go away for along time REALLY tell them how you are . . .
'Well, last night I had a really hard time getting to sleep and I tripped over a cat and slammed my face into a wall - I had been concerned that I broke my nose, but it turns out my lip is just a little bruised and then this morning I was supposed to be off and some idiot called in and so I'm here and I have to work until 1030 tonight . . . oh and did you know I'm looking for a new job? well, I've only had that one interview but I did get a letter of interest about an assistant dean of student life position - can you imagine me doing that?! It sounds so impressive . . .'

I PROMISE they will avoid you in the future!

Now I have had it with the niceties (since 2004) when I am asked how are you I usually say:

"do you want me to pretend or do you want me to tell the truth?"