Feeling Down and Dissapointed :'(

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I was really excited and wanted my first job to work out but it makes me feel sick to my stomach just thinking about the next clock-in. The manager who hired me was fired, and even though he wasn't organized and really had no idea what he was doing, he was nice and I liked him. I was hired to do nothing but scoop ice cream, but somehow I always get forced into running the register and counting up the bank at the end of the night (which means I have to stay longer than everyone else because these two chicks go around to collect the bags and they're always sooo late getting to my stand). I have yet to scoop a single scoop of ice cream which is ok by me, I think I'm pretty good at the register but still, that's not what I was hired for.

Socializing with the customers during show intervals is really rough on me, there's always a huge influx of people during these times and I get really slow with the change and stuff. On top of that I get ridiculed by the people I work with everytime I go in for doing something "weird" or using big words. And during one intrusive conversation where I was really trying hard to socialize, I tried to explain my personality by using the word "reclusive". The three of them looked at me like I was a pink elephant and then proceeded to laugh and ask what "recluso" meant.

Some of the stuff they asked and said to my face really hurt my feelings and while I laughed it off throughout my shift...I cried pretty hard after I got home and everyone else went to bed. The prospect of facing these same people a few days a week for five hours at a time has begun to make me physically ill. I really want to quit, but I have no idea what I would look for next (I want a repetitive, no-talking type job as far as entry level goes but my passion is and always will be writing, I just don't know how the heck to get a writing job in my area :'( )

Beyond wanting to quit, I don't know HOW to quit without just not showing up--I would like to do it properly--but I feel I have not worked there long enough to get a reference or anything anyway so it probably wouldn't be worth it to hand in a 2 week notice or whatever. Worse than the initial fear of quitting is the onslaught of disappointment not only from myself but from my mom, I so don't want her to feel disappointed in me. She helped me land this job, and stuck up for me when my managers were playing with my schedule, she even bought my expensive work shoes. I tried really hard not to show my sadness, but my mom caught me crying and now I feel guilty because she knows I want to quit.

If there's anyone that can help me pinpoint a job I might really really enjoy or at the very least be able to handle, please talk to me. I feel really horrible right now and I'm scared...what should I do?

don't let boorish people get you down. just be glad you are not like them. just remember that they may be the social alphas today, but tomorrow you will still be intelligent, unlike them.

A psychologist once told me to describe myself as "very, very shy" instead of words like reclusive. "Shy" goes over better, I've found. It keeps the notion of you liking people, whereas words like "reclusive" say that sometimes you'd rather be alone. People take that badly. They think it's all about them, that you dislike them.

If you were hired to scoop ice cream but are handling the cash, it means somebody noticed you are clever and trustworthy. This will look great on your CV if you can stick it out. This is the "experience" that all job ads are talking about. Experience on the cash, however, will lead to more jobs with people contact.

I think the ideal job for me would be in a library, behind the scenes, reshelving books, doing computer input and so on. You could call up your library and ask what credentials they require. It might be a degree.

About the job you have now. Do you know who your boss is, since the other one left? Some businesses would be thrilled to find that they an efficient employee with a "handicap" - they get a tax break. But I don't know if that is the case where you work. There are lawyers who counsel for free, at the Y for example, or the Community Centre. You could ask them. It's a plus for you if your employer gets a tax break on your salary.

When I go grocery shopping, I wear a button that says, "I'm not ignoring you, I have autism." That has helped me a lot with people who all of a sudden are okay with my "shyness." I got the button on eBay here:

http://cgi.ebay.com/B012-Im-not-ignorin ... 3ef327cdca

It's a judgement call whether it'll do good or backfire. For me, it's been a blessing. People are kinder.

As for counting money and socializing at the same time, that sounds like multi-tasking to me, and people with autism don't multi-task. Could you ask your boss if socializing with the public could be minimized - perhaps by a different placement of the cash? Maybe they could pile up a display of chips so that you're not so accessible to conversation with strangers. Keep smiiling, it's important.

Well that's a lot of advice from me over a situation I haven't actually seen. What do you think? What do your counselors think?