Scared of Working

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Hi im 18 and the youngest in the family, my family is kinda having a financial crisis right now so i have to work, no one is forcing me to work or anything but i just feel kinda obligated and ashamed of not working,i really wanna work and help my family but part of me is really lazy, just wanna be at home playing computer,cuz for 18 years of my life i was a spoiled kid just at home sitting infront of my computer or go to mall and hang out with my friends,but like i said i really wanna work and its my first time working but im really really lazy, also i dunno if this is relevant, but im afraid of working as well..alone..i mean i dont know anyone at my work,how will i communicate with them and im feeling lonely and the night before my work i was actually crying cuz im so afraid to go to work the next morning, because when i wake up in the morning no one is at home and i have to prepare to go to work....and go out of the house with no one saying good bye to me or anything..cuz my sister is at work she's in a night shift so she get's home around 9 or 10 in the morning and i have to go to work around 7 in the morning...i feel lonely and scared and i dunno how to cope up with that...please if anyone could give me an advice i would really appreciate it thanks alot

I know how it feels to be scared of working - I'm 23 and still experience this. The only way I can deal with it is to either (if possible) prepare myself as much as possible for what the work will involve (e.g. when I started at kfc I read through and memorised their menu), or if that's not possible I use my special interest (whatever it is at the time) to distract myself because while I'm involved in that I can block out the stressful thoughts about work. There's really no way I have found to prepare myself for dealing with the social side of it though.

As for being lonely... that sucks. Is there a friend or family member you could call and talk to before you leave for work maybe?

thx for the advice...and umm no..like i said my sister gets home around 9 and i have to go to work at 7 in the morning..and when i get home she's all asleep and the only i time i get to talk to her is when she prepares to go to work at night..well that's not actually talking..so yah it sux..sigh..i just hope i dont feel this way anymore cuz i hate it, its like a big burden T_T...

Showing up for a new job is stressful, especially if it is your first job. The important thing is just to focus on physically getting to the workplace. Half the battle sometimes with new jobs is just to get over the anxiety and just to get there and on time. After a while I think your anxiety will go down. As far as the social aspect, you can worry about that a little later. I didn't have my first job until I just graduated high school and I was almost 19.

I'm 27 and have worked before...work was actually a MAJOR benefit for me and my asperger's, but I've been unemployed for 3 years now, the idea of going back to work petrifies me and although my partner supports me I hate that he's getting into debt caring for me and if I don't work we have no hope of living together let alone having a family and a future together.

It's the whole issue of change, I feel rushed at the best of times tidying etc. then I like to have the time to follow my own interests, as well as that going back into work means getting used to a new routine, new people, possible 'getting to know you' exercises that employers seem to love, and the threat of meltdowns plague me. It is something you have to just overcome I suppose, it's like having a good day and just going for whatever it is you're trying to do, mind over mind...positive attitude...just getting on with it.

Once those first few days are over with work becomes a lot easier, and you probably will find like me that work is enjoyable and helps your issues a hell of a lot, you do sometimes look forward to work, although you don't need to work right now you will have to some time, and doing it now will make you feel better about yourself.

thx alot for the advice guys..ill be sure to keep those in mind and use them thanks again!

I'm 32 and although I have worked in the past I haven't for many years due to being at home with my children. I was very afraid of the social aspects of working and people around people but I knew I should do something now my children are older so last year became self employed

Work of itself is not scary. Work is enjoyable. It is the human element associated with work that is intimidating. I managed this problem by being very quiet and always polite even when I was insulted. Look happy or as neutral as possible. Do not speak unless you are spoken to, unless it is an emergency, or you may risk expressing information which is detrimental to your working relationship. At the present time, I cannot conceive of managing this issue in any other way.

What was more scary for me at one point was getting stuck in a rote, boring, dead-end job, like a stock boy in a supermarket. I doubt that I could even handle that. If I am not doing something I enjoy, time tends to go by so slow. I'll end up taking way too many illegal breaks and what not. Luckily, that's no longer a concern for me. I have had a seasonal summer job, about seven months, for the past four years.

I never really worried much about the social aspect of work. My eye contact is fine when discussing things one on one, though I admit that I don't pay attention to facial expressions unless I am looking for some specific response. I tend to zone out while doing so, but I can manage to still pay attention. I guess that's maybe because I am more spatially motivated. I just hate interview questions. They tend to be emotionally charged. I literally have to fake those. And I have issues with discussing personal aspects of my life with others. If it benefits the job, fine. As to what my hobbies are otherwise, why do they even need to care? Even worse when they ask, "What's the best or worst of x?" I literally can not answer those properly, because I tend to not have best or worst preferences to many things. Things are what they are.

I only had two meltdowns at work in the past four years, neither of which were anything really severe. I did feel very uncomfortable, though, and told my supervisor that I did have an ASD and that sometimes my mind draws blanks and / or scrambles information when under stress. He told me, "I know," which I thought was a bit weird. It may have been weird, but I did feel relieved. I am still not sure if I should even disclose it to future employers. I usually don't, but there are apparently times that will occur when I will have to.

I suspect most people think I'm unusual, but probably not much more, at where I currently work. It's more of a camp-like atmosphere, and they provide their own housing and so forth. And I am up late into the night using the Internet at the main campus. Most people at that time are partying and getting drunk. That's not me. I do not like crowds, and tend to hyperfocus on objects to compensate. It's good for selling photos to customers, since I can set my focus completely on the computer screen. I rarely look at customers directly, though I don't have trouble answering questions or anything. I guess it depends on the severity of symptoms, really.

It could just be a personal preference, but I suspect many on the ASD spectrum could benefit from puzzles for downtime or break time or whatever, such as Rubik's Cube, or NeoCube, or anything similar that can catch interest. Reading books, too, though I tend to stim with my hands. Holding something and fiddling with it gives me the satisfaction I crave, so it works for me.

I totally tried this while working in a corporate environment but then the breakdown occurs when the work become demanding and those insults that you let hang around and circulate amongst your coworkers takes it's toll on your efficiency. I'd laugh off insults or ignore the stupid things my co-workers did out of politeness but if I tripped up or said the wrong thing I was ridiculed. I'd laugh it off and *keep smiling* but it made defending my position on anything impossible. I was always dismissed. I have to conclude that their preconceived idas of me would always win. When i got sick (Kidney Failure) it was easy to get rid of the "screw-up".
With people (in any interaction) you have to constantly defend yourself and your intelligence or you'll never be taken seriously. It's these seemingly insurmountable odds that terrify me. I feel like the people who succeed in these environments have a specific skill set for deflecting this common interaction whereas I am plunged into anxious silent disbelief.

Congrats for stepping up and taking on some of the responsibility to help your family! A lot of folks your age wouldn't do that. You will communicate with the people at work the same way you communicate with people anywhere, by speaking. You don't have to be social or anything, just say what you need to say and ask what you need to ask. I wouldn't worry too much about that, because they will tell you what to do, and if you aren't doing something right they will tell you that too. Don't be afraid to ask questions if you don't understand something. You are supposed to do that.

Don't worry about being lonely because you will be busy learning to do your job while you are at work and you will probably be tired when you come home so you will just want to eat, shower and chill then go to bed.

Once you get in the routine of it, you'll do fine. What kind of job is it and is it part time or full time?