Disability: At what point was work too much to handle?

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As you know I am working and as it turns out, I found out that people on "the spectrum" have an unemployment rate of 85%! ! Well no wonder I have had a hard time getting jobs (besides the economy). At the discussion group I go to, a number of people there have worked but are now on social security disability. Right now, my job is threatened and being middle aged I wonder as I am older if I will get another job at all because of my "traits". So I am asking: At what point could you not work and had to get SSDI? That is, did something ugly happen? Did your doctor or therapist say that you were so troubled to be eligible? You don't have to answer and I don't mean to be nosy but I just like some guidance. The 85% figure is shocking.

To some extent that figure reflects self-selection. Aspies who are able to hold down regular employment may be less likely to seek a diagnosis, etc than Aspies who cannot keep employed and who are more likely to seek help as a result. Not all Aspies even admit to themselves that they are on the spectrum - and those in long term employment are perhaps more likely to fall into this group ("I don't have a problem" - I have heard that myself from an Aspie-in-denial who has had a "successful" career).

Aspie here out of work. My old psychologist, who wasn't much help and I can't afford to see since I am out of work- insist that as an aspie there's no reason I can't work. Never mind the fact that work WAS my life. I'd wake up, go to work, come home, sleep, repeat. No fun stuff or nothing- I simply didn't have the energy. And while I was able to do that for a good 2 years, my job itself was constantly under threat because I'd be late (oversleeping) or not fast enough, or talk too much or a host of other problems that I just honestly didn't see where I was doing anything different from my peers. At the end I was starting to have mealtdowns while working- which got me on short term disability.

My problem is I have absolutely no support outside of my husband, now no dr. support and my stupid psych was holding me to standards of aspies that have great support networks and have been diagnosed forever... it really sucks..

Finally, after being out of the workplace for 6 months or so, I'm beginning to be myself again (at home at least) but it often fades back to lower-functioning when I"m out all day. So despite feeling fine 90% of the time, I still don't have any confidence in being able to handle a job.

And, no. I don't get any SSI or anything. I've applied and been denied... and I'm trying to appeal... I just hope I don't lose my apartment before that goes through. No lawyer will take my case without a doctor... and the doctors around here are no help. VERY sucky.

At the point when I got bored.

I was becoming depressed at work. After reading a into what action to take on being bullied at work, I had been making note of unpleasant events that were happening. Eventually I was signed off by my doctor. The firm I worked for was happy to make me redundant, rather than risk going to tribunal. I was happy with this also, the thought of going through a tribunal was distressing.

Since that time, nearly four years ago, I have been out of paid work, apart from briefly doing some landscaping/ building work, which I was not very good at.

The few interviews I have attended have gone badly. My success in the interview for the position I originally held may be linked to the interviewing HR member having been on their last day of work for the firm.

Now I am claiming ESA, and do voluntary work, which I am enjoying a lot more than my paid employment, although I am poor financially. It may be cognitive dissonance, because I do not get paid for the work I am doing, then I tell myself that I must really enjoy doing it. I prefer to think that it is just more rewarding though.

Since school - I've been on disability since the age of seventeen. My Mother was to thank for that, though. She saw that I wouldn't be able to fully support myself and decided to get me on it.

I went through too many jobs to count throughout my working life. Between my Asperger's, which I had not even heard of then, and my other health problems, I had a hard time getting and keeping jobs. My lifelong depression and the Asperger's made me less than desirable as a worker. My lifelong IBS made me late for work, and kept me in the bathroom at work too long. I later developed sleep apnea, which left me terribly tired, and also added to me being late for work. I don't have higher job skills, but was willing to do low level, low paying jobs, to at least be working, but my problems made me less employable as time went on. During the job slump in the early 2000s I was out of work again, and just as the economy picked up for a while, my mother's bad health got worse. I was able to get financial assistance as her caregiver until she died, and then lived off my share of the small inheritance until that ran out. It was split between all four sibs, plus a little put aside for my nephew, so nobody got a whole lot, but nobody had any complaints, either. I did try to find work again after my mother passed away, but by that time my knees had gotten bad, on top of my other health problems. I am no longer able to work due to my non Asperger's health problems, and was finally able to qualify for SSI or SSD (can never remember which it is) on that basis. At the time I was going through the qualification process, I was still learning about Asperger's, and had not had time to fully absorb what I was learning, so I didn't go to a doc for it. I was busy going to docs for stuff I already knew I had, to get help for those problems, and to qualify for assistance. Now I know more about Asperger's and that I have it, but am already on assistance for the other stuff, so it doesn't matter in regards to my assistance. I qualified for Temporary state assistance about 6 1/2 years ago, followed by SS assistance, but have been out of work for about 10 years.

I have lost nearly every job I have had due to Aspergers or Depression. I've only been happy in one job, but I lost it 20 years ago. It strikes me that either I lost jobs because I was not able to understand the corporate culture, nor my relationship, or I had melt downs and basically talked my way out of the job. I am unemployed or underemployed now, and have been since 2008. I am working on getting a job. I recently went through a course in truck driving, but found that I am too timid and afraid to actually drive on a road full of cars. In fact the idea of driving brings about near total shut down. In fact, I have tried several job training paths that have led me to major freak outs, and anxiety.

I basically "watched" this all horrified that I was doing it. But at this point I have to forgive myself. It is getting too late. I have no savings or retirement built up. Can I or will I ever totally drop out?

I don't think I have the choice.