Co-worker grabbed me, I had a panic attack

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@Encolpia: I hope that when that man assaults another person, you will remember that you once had a chance to prevent it, and that you will also be able to live with yourself for it.

Thanks, everyone, for the feedback. I did have an unofficial talk with the office manager. I didn't say who it was who did it, or file anything official, so hopefully there won't be any negative repercussions for anyone. She was really nice about it, although she didn't tell me anything besides what I already know. It was kind of reassuring to have someone respond thoughtfully--my supervisor sort of blew me off after it happened, and I'm not sure if anyone else knew what happened and why.

I was already planning on quitting this job before too much longer, and now I have even more reason to be happy about that prospect.

@Fnord, you're coming across as really hostile towards me right now, and it's bothering me. Are you seriously implying that this guy is about to, what, rape or beat someone? I've looked into the legal definitions of assault when other people have touched me like this; as much as it upsets me, I've never found anything that says it's a crime, if there's no malice, threat, injury, etc. Please tell me if you know otherwise. That would be a lot more helpful than what you're doing--pretending I'm a victim and then victim-blaming me.

If this guy was trying to balance himself, I feel bad for him given all the reactions here. Was he just supposed to fall down the stairs and crack his skull open or something? :/

Of course. And if you were there seeing him fall, you’d be well advised to steer clear of helping him, as you could be charged with assault for touching him

I am very glad you were able to have a productive unofficial chat with the office manager. You likely did the people involved and the company a favor, because if unchecked that sort of behavior could likely get them all in a heap of trouble.

Just in case you decide not to leave the company, it never hurts to have a little side record of the dates and times of the initial occurrence, your talk with the supervisor, your talk with the office manager, and who did and said what during those. I have personally seen too many cases where some months later something similar or worse happens, and the lack of such notes hampers things.

Again, congratulations on finding a way to stick up for yourself that worked well for you.

Apparently in his world, anyone who touches anyone for anything is guilty of assault, and the person who gives a friendly pat on the back is a serial rapist.

It just can' be that black and white, or innocent people will get destroyed.

^^^ It's called "common assault" and it's complete lunacy. One can stretch any totally innocent bump or pat on the back into ZOMGABUSEHELPHELPHELP!! ! fun-happy-lawsuit-time.

The problem, apparently, is people who can't tell the difference between an accidental or innocent touch, and that of a sleazy slimeball wanting to "cop a feel."


So, thanks to hyperactive screamers, it's best to just never touch anyone or one risks immediate dismissal and/or lawsuit.


(OP, I'm not referring to you here - your phobia is different, nor did you run to management to get "revenge" on this guy. Not saying a name and just asking/talking about it was a good, classy move!)

For goodness sake, this is not an assault. This is some guy tripping and then being foolish. OP, I am only joining in this now . . . I would have suggested to let it drop - there is no reason to involve anyone in this. It is unfortunate that this incident triggered a panic attack, but that is not the blame of the guy who tripped. It's just the way things go sometimes.

I don't like being touched either, but you have to use your mental judgment. Sometimes auties react so strongly physically to something that we think there is something wrong, but really our reaction is just part of our condition.

Now this is an assault:

I wouldn't say anything because it might come back to bite you and it probably would. I have to deal with a male and female coworkers who are super touchy feely and I can't stand it but I know I will be made out to be rude or not a team player if I do anything about it, so I just grind my teeth and deal with it.

If anyone touches me they'll get their heads bitten off, one by one until they are forced to submit themselves to an apology