How to perfectly apply for a job?

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I need to find a job desperately, long story short.

I keep being held back from applying because I know I need to appear to be perfect. I need to look normal, act normal, speak normal, the slightest hint of abnormality when I ask for an application form/hand it in, and I'll never be able to get a job there. The employers are usually normal people, after all, they don't have any tolerance for people who aren't them.

How do you do it? How do you fool them into thinking that you're normal?

A part of me want to laugh because you're asking that question HERE of all places.

I'm really mild on the spectrum, but frankly, I've found jobs more because the employer was desperate for a warm body that would show up and work than anything else.

I can't think of even once where I got a job because I was "perfect" for the interview.

Current job...mass hiring...and I was persistent after I was called in for the job.

Prior job...guy needed someone and I had more education...although I was unwilling to do the level of work he really wanted and I should have refused the job.

Prior job...boss was too lazy to interview and hire. My mom held the job and was retiring. I was in a position to take the job and knew everything there was to know about doing it.

Prior job...company regularly hired people, although the second time I was interviewed I "dumbed down" my application so I wasn't so overqualified.

Prior job...I thought they really wanted me, but I was their 2nd choice...The 1st choice quit after a week.

Prior job...My sister set me up doing data entry work.

Prior job...Company would hire anyone willing to try to do the job...went through a lot of people.

Prior job...Company would hire anyone willing to try to do the job...went through a lot of people.

Prior job...Company was building and staffing a new store...needed bodies.

You get the point...

I'd like to know what it feels like to have people competing to get me to take a job with them instead of the way it normally goes.

We can't really answer that easily because there's no single answer, just like, "How do I get a girlfriend?" can't be answered easily. I can tell you that the act of 'forcing' yourself to be normal and trying to suppress anything that you think might be odd or unusual often times makes you appear worse off than when you don't. In other words, acting like you're in a play in the role of a "normal guy" isn't a long term strategy, or even a short term one for some of us.

And are you sure that you're not getting jobs is because of how you act when you fill out applications? There could be all sorts of things that have nothing to do with you keeping you from getting a call. Don't assume the worst of yourself and try to fix something that might not be broken.

I agree with sacrip. Trying to act normal,will make you look more awkward. At least that is what happens with me.

I don't think there's actually such thing as normal, everybody has some quirks and weird things about them. It is not about appearing normal, but about appearing adequate to the job.

First of all, make sure you are the right person for the job. For two main reasons:

1) If you have weaknesses in things that will be required for the job, it is more likely for the people doing the hiring to find them.

2) If you feel you are right for the job, that will boost your confidence, which in turn will make you feel more at ease. The less nervous you are, the harder it will be for them to notice your quirks.

Second, make sure you get the basics, and roleplay the process if necessary. How to greet, how to introduce yourself. request the application, turn in the application, and so on. Be ready for things not following your mental script, and never forget to say thank you.

Third, make sure you are prepared to fill out your application. Have all the information you'll likely need with you in a folder. Bring your own pen, read it thoroughly and pay close attention.

Have someone help you with the clothes you will be wearing while applying for the job. Give them as much information about the type of job you're applying for so that they can help you choose appropriate clothing.

If you do this, hopefully you'll avoid any major pitfalls. I'd also try filling out joib applications for other companies, even if you are not interested in them so that you become familiar with the process and spot problematic parts of it.

Anyway, good luck.