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julieme
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29 Jul 2005, 7:46 pm

Hi,

Can any of the NT's explain this one.

I took a spill in a race and got a bad cut/ stitches. The doctor said that I could stop bandaging it once it stopped seeping.

My boss took me aside and told me I have to cover it with bandages at work until the stitches come out because that is the "normal, correct thing". I work in a think tank (R&D engineering) its not like there is anything yucky that is going to get in in or anything.

Any idea why this is the normal thing to do?



Neuroman
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29 Jul 2005, 8:08 pm

I think because NTs feel bad when they see it. They get a lot of distress from seeing wounds, I think because they have some kind of empathy with the pain they think you felt (notice I am not talking about your actual pain).
I do psychiatric crisis work and some of the people have here for 20 or more years. They still get squeamish when they hear how someone cut themself, even if the person says they didn't feel it.

It also depends on whether they think they can get germs from it.

OR

It could be something to manipulate you. My boss does things like this because I don't respond to her attempts at social manipulation. She'll tell me that there is a new policy and I find out later that there is no new policy, just something she wanted to get me to do. She doesn't ask directly because I need to understand why I am doing something and she doesn't want to explain that it is someone's personal preference. An example of this is that when I started working there I was asked not to make microwave popcorn because the burned smell was disturbing. I made sure I never burned the popcorn again, and then we got a memo that we couldn't make it because it was unprofessional.

My best guess is that someone got grossed out by it and asked your boss to say something. If you worked with a bunch of mountain bikers, they'd probably ask you to keep the wound on display : )


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NotBlueAspie
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29 Jul 2005, 8:12 pm

Probably because people dislike seeing stitched-up wounds. Most people would probably hide stitches if possible, because they would feel that it detracts from their appearance and/or makes them look ugly.

Also, it might be considered an 'unprofessional' appearance. I mean, wearing sandals is often considered unprofessional or distracting, and is a lot less shocking than a bunch of stitches.

BTW, where is the wound located? That could make a difference as to the typical behavior of a wounded person.



animallover
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29 Jul 2005, 11:20 pm

I find that normal people are very bothered by the thought of other people being sick or hurt - and I agree that if it upsets them than it should upset the person they are describing the experience to . . . but mostly when someone describes to me about being hurt I am interested in what happened in terms of the effect it produced . . . this is not true for most normal people . . .

For example, I have been very accident prone as of late (well, I always am but have hurt myself fairly badly a couple of times recently) and two of my injuries were immediately obvious:

#1 - I broke my wee toe and still can't wear regular shoes without it hurting a lot - but when it first happened it was black and blue and I was coming to work and telling the people I sit with 'look - today it is green!' or 'today it is yellow!' thinking that, all being adults, they would know that as a bruise heals it turns colors so that meant it was healing . . .
They were unimpressed . . .

#2 - (this one is really funny) - I got woken up by my phone, rolled over two fast and clocked myself in the face with my end table - I brought this one up immediately at work because I also have an eye infection and the combination of the two makes me look like I've recently been in a good fist fight . . .
Anyway, what I find just facinating about my face is that you can see the dent from the corner of the table in it - I mean, just exactly - it is neat . . . I was also describing how I had to get up immediately and go and look in the mirror to see if it would bleed and if I needed stiches - after about five minutes it was clear that it was going to be an amazingly facinating knot and not need stiches - so I just went back to bed . . .

These are not the ways that I should react to these situations - and I wonder why it is that so many people say 'she is nice, but REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wierd . ..'



NoMore
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29 Jul 2005, 11:25 pm

animallover wrote:
#2 - (this one is really funny) - I got woken up by my phone, rolled over two fast and clocked myself in the face with my end table - I brought this one up immediately at work because I also have an eye infection and the combination of the two makes me look like I've recently been in a good fist fight . . .
Anyway, what I find just facinating about my face is that you can see the dent from the corner of the table in it - I mean, just exactly - it is neat . . . I was also describing how I had to get up immediately and go and look in the mirror to see if it would bleed and if I needed stiches - after about five minutes it was clear that it was going to be an amazingly facinating knot and not need stiches - so I just went back to bed . . .

These are not the ways that I should react to these situations - and I wonder why it is that so many people say 'she is nice, but REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wierd . ..'


LOL!! :lol: I love your stories! You sound so much like me! LOL



hell_grey
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30 Jul 2005, 1:41 am

It definitely sounds like an issue of other workers not wanting to see your wound.



Nicolai
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30 Jul 2005, 3:16 am

julieme wrote:
The doctor said that I could stop bandaging it once it stopped seeping.

Did your doctor actually advise stop bandaging or doesnt´t it matter what you do? If it doesn´t matter you may decide to do the way your boss is asking.

If your doctor advises stop bandaging I would tell that to your boss. Maybe he changes his point of view. (But I´m living in a country where a doctor-advise is almost holy).

I don´t know this person, but I don´t think he will change his view actually, because he must be an a**hole in the first place trying you to tell what you have to do with your body.

Maybe the reason your boss asks you this is that your meeting clients of the company and your boss is afraid this may disturb clients?


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Nicolai
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30 Jul 2005, 6:27 am

Maybe I´m not the right person to tell something about this case, because I don´t think I´m the protype of a NT.

Hell_grey might be right, when he writes:

hell_grey wrote:
It definitely sounds like an issue of other workers not wanting to see your wound.

I have noticed in the past that people don´t say things directly to you and instead talk to the manager. This happens maybe because they don´t want to disturb the relationship with you or they feel you´re not open to criticism. If one or more co-workers do this, the manager might feel compelled to speak about this with you.

The fact you´re more or less mind-blind of people talking behind your back (because you don´t do this yourself), might give you the impression that your boss is the one who wants you to behave different, while in fact your co-workers have complained.


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Nicolai
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30 Jul 2005, 6:36 am

By the way. What does "yucky" mean? I can´t find this in my vocabulary. My native language is not English.



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30 Jul 2005, 8:14 am

Yucky= Gross, unusual or mildly distrubing.


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Nicolai
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30 Jul 2005, 10:36 am

Thx Prometheus,

I think you mean "disturbing", because "distrubing" isn´t in my dictionary too.



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30 Jul 2005, 12:01 pm

Yeah, thats right. My spelling has never been called "good".


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magic
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30 Jul 2005, 1:03 pm

I am somewhat surprised by replies in this thread. As I understand, we are talking about bandaging an open wound (just after it stopped seeping). It is a reasonable common sense not to display an open wound in a place like an office, a bus, etc. This is because an accidental blood contact is a health hazard - many diseases are easily transmitted this way. If the wound is open or not yet completely healed and prone to being torn and bleed, the blood may be accidentally transmitted to some object or furniture, and then touched by another person. That's why it is commonly accepted to cover fresh wounds, even if that sometimes slows the process of healing (e.g. in case of a scraped knee).



julieme
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30 Jul 2005, 5:22 pm

Thanks everybody for the feedback. I still have a lot to learn about how things look to others.

I am not arguing with my boss over wearing the wrap to cover stitches. I just expected that if there was some sort of norm the doctor would have told me.

One thing I am very greatful for is working with people who accept asperger's and are willing to tell me when I am acting oddly and only rate me on job performance (outcomes).

The only drawback to this is one has to accept their comments without knowing the why logic behind them.



jb814
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06 Aug 2005, 3:56 pm

"The only drawback to this is one has to accept their comments without knowing the why logic behind them."
Now that is Distrubing.



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09 Aug 2005, 8:43 pm

animallover wrote:
I find that normal people are very bothered by the thought of other people being sick or hurt - and I agree that if it upsets them than it should upset the person they are describing the experience to . . . but mostly when someone describes to me about being hurt I am interested in what happened in terms of the effect it produced . . . this is not true for most normal people . . .

...I was also describing how I had to get up immediately and go and look in the mirror to see if it would bleed and if I needed stiches - after about five minutes it was clear that it was going to be an amazingly facinating knot and not need stiches - so I just went back to bed . . .

These are not the ways that I should react to these situations - and I wonder why it is that so many people say 'she is nice, but REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wierd . ..'


Yes, they are the ways you should react to those situations, that's who you are.
I too tend to be more interested in the effects of an injury rather than feeling the hurt with the injured party.

I do a similar thing. I once got stitches in my thumb after cutting it on a metal shelf. When I got the cut, great gobs of blood were coming out and I was working in a patient care facility so I put my hand around my thumb and squeezed until it stopped. I thought I'd get away with it but while cleaning up the mess I reopened it and a nurse was standing there staring at me.

Yesterday I discovered that I had gotten a tiny thorn under my skin while gardening. It had gotten infected so it was itching awfully. Luckily I had a new blade for my xacto knife. I carved off the top layer of skin and out came the thorn.

Neither of these two stories could be told to my colleagues at work....


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