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Really want to work but I know I can't at the moment.

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SpectrumConnection
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16 Dec 2015, 4:07 pm

Please don't hate me!

So I have an anxiety disorder as well as Autism and I had to leave my last job because I was having regular breakdowns in the workplace. I really, really tried. I promise you I would absolutely love to be able to work.

I really want to work because a) it would make me happy b) I want to contribute and c) I need the money

But at the moment I'm just volunteering a few days a week so that I don't have big gaps in my CV. However even in a low-pressure volunteer setting I have sometimes been so anxious that I've had to go home crying (crying is the way my body responds to anxiety.) I don't think an employer would keep me on under these circumstances and I know it would damage my mental health to do even a part-time job at the moment.

Has anyone else been in this situation?



Anneliese
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17 Dec 2015, 3:57 pm

Hi :D You are not alone, I also have an anxiety disorder but only recently had my diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome. Wish I had known sooner, so I wouldn't have kept putting myself in the wrong jobs! I am sure you did try, it takes great strength to give these things a go when you have problems with anxiety. I have had terrible anxiety for coming up to 2 years. I was getting gradually more and more stressed at work and 1 day I had a big panic attack and fell into a colleague! I left that job, but I have tried other things and recently started a job but my anxiety was building up and up again, so I had to leave to stop myself getting as bad as I have been before, hardly able to leave the house. I am waiting to see a psychologist in January who deals with anxiety and Aspergers, so I really hope she can help. I wonder if you can get any extra help too. That's great that you are volunteering regularly, just what you need on your CV. I do a bit of volunteering but I don't feel calm enough to commit to anything regular at the moment, but like you I really want to be able to stay in a job without anxiety attacks. I hope things improve for you soon. :)



Sweetleaf
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17 Dec 2015, 4:10 pm

I've been in a similar situation except I never made it as far as working anywhere for any significant amount of time. Had a little part time job in highschool which I got fired from and it really was pretty overwhelming. Then I did work study in college and tried some job some family members hooked me up with that i also quickly got fired from. But yeah I applied for SSI and after quite the cumbersome process got that, which also gave me medicaid which pays for therapy/treatment for my disorders. I recently completed some trauma therapy because along with generalized anxiety I have PTSD to but still not ready to jump into work...but hopefully eventually I can figure something out as SSI certainly does not pay an ideal amount to live on.

But yeah if your issues are likely to hold you back from employment in the long term I would certainly recommend the SSI route, or if you've worked long enough you could be eligible for SSDI. It's better than no income.


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SpectrumConnection
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17 Dec 2015, 10:40 pm

Anneliese wrote:
Hi :D You are not alone, I also have an anxiety disorder but only recently had my diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome. Wish I had known sooner, so I wouldn't have kept putting myself in the wrong jobs! I am sure you did try, it takes great strength to give these things a go when you have problems with anxiety. I have had terrible anxiety for coming up to 2 years. I was getting gradually more and more stressed at work and 1 day I had a big panic attack and fell into a colleague! I left that job, but I have tried other things and recently started a job but my anxiety was building up and up again, so I had to leave to stop myself getting as bad as I have been before, hardly able to leave the house. I am waiting to see a psychologist in January who deals with anxiety and Aspergers, so I really hope she can help. I wonder if you can get any extra help too. That's great that you are volunteering regularly, just what you need on your CV. I do a bit of volunteering but I don't feel calm enough to commit to anything regular at the moment, but like you I really want to be able to stay in a job without anxiety attacks. I hope things improve for you soon. :)


Hiya thanks for sharing. I'm sorry you had to go through all that, your story sounds pretty similar to mine.

I'm having counselling at the moment which seems to be working pretty well. I hope your psychologist helps :)

Hope things improve for you also :)



kraftiekortie
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17 Dec 2015, 10:45 pm

You're in England, so it might be easier for you to get benefits than it would be in the US (we have SSI and SSDI).

Have you already been diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder? If so, it might even be easier.



SpectrumConnection
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17 Dec 2015, 11:00 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
I've been in a similar situation except I never made it as far as working anywhere for any significant amount of time. Had a little part time job in highschool which I got fired from and it really was pretty overwhelming. Then I did work study in college and tried some job some family members hooked me up with that i also quickly got fired from. But yeah I applied for SSI and after quite the cumbersome process got that, which also gave me medicaid which pays for therapy/treatment for my disorders. I recently completed some trauma therapy because along with generalized anxiety I have PTSD to but still not ready to jump into work...but hopefully eventually I can figure something out as SSI certainly does not pay an ideal amount to live on.

But yeah if your issues are likely to hold you back from employment in the long term I would certainly recommend the SSI route, or if you've worked long enough you could be eligible for SSDI. It's better than no income.


Hiya I'm so sorry to hear that, sounds like you've had a horrible time. At the moment I am on disability benefits, in the uk this is called ESA. The assessment system can be quite harsh here though so they may well decide I am fit for work (even though I'm clearly not) and try and push me into getting a job and cut off my payments if I don't try and get a job. Not sure what the system is like where you are but i hope it hasn't been too traumatic, the system here has a reputation for declaring people fit for work when they aren't resulting in sometimes disastrous consequences.

I know, living on SSI/ESA/Benefits is hardly ideal. I don't get very much either though I'm lucky enough to get free health care :) I am grateful for everything I get, however, what I'd much rather do is work full-time and get a decent amount of money. But since that's not a possibility income has to come from somewhere else unfortunately :(

I really hope things get better for you.



Anneliese
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18 Dec 2015, 6:45 am

SpectrumConnection wrote:
Anneliese wrote:
Hi :D You are not alone, I also have an anxiety disorder but only recently had my diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome. Wish I had known sooner, so I wouldn't have kept putting myself in the wrong jobs! I am sure you did try, it takes great strength to give these things a go when you have problems with anxiety. I have had terrible anxiety for coming up to 2 years. I was getting gradually more and more stressed at work and 1 day I had a big panic attack and fell into a colleague! I left that job, but I have tried other things and recently started a job but my anxiety was building up and up again, so I had to leave to stop myself getting as bad as I have been before, hardly able to leave the house. I am waiting to see a psychologist in January who deals with anxiety and Aspergers, so I really hope she can help. I wonder if you can get any extra help too. That's great that you are volunteering regularly, just what you need on your CV. I do a bit of volunteering but I don't feel calm enough to commit to anything regular at the moment, but like you I really want to be able to stay in a job without anxiety attacks. I hope things improve for you soon. :)


Hiya thanks for sharing. I'm sorry you had to go through all that, your story sounds pretty similar to mine.

I'm having counselling at the moment which seems to be working pretty well. I hope your psychologist helps :)

Hope things improve for you also :)


Thank you. :) Glad your counselling is helping. :)