I want to get out of here and be independent!

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Callmesisixoxo
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06 Feb 2016, 9:25 am

I live on an estate/council accomodation, it isn't as shabby as some but I want to move out so badly, my parents brush me off at times and don't listen to my needs, we argue a lot. I am feeling a little down and depressed that I'm not earning any money besides benefits and I live somewhere so dull to tell you the truth. I want to travel, go places, have fun, I'm 18 and I don't want to be in the same position forever.

I just want that independence for myself, to get a job I enjoy and be successful but the fact that I'm anxious and find it tricky to communicate and understand the way everything works makes it more difficult plus all these services that should be helping people like me take forever to sort things out to the point I literally want to do it all for myself, but don't know how.

Any good jobs for a college student with Aspergers and not much experience/qualifications as a kick start? Not sure I can do retail/customer service, too anxious to pick up phone calls and I really have to think about how to approach people and what to say, takes me a bit of time to leave the house to top it off. Or is there just any way I can overcome my anxiety and go out there and simply apply for something?

With being confident and succeeding it's really easier said than done, all I can do is update my CV, do work outs from home, keep up with my college work, but I want the confidence to be able to go to a gym and have a career, for my own good really.

I have to make some kind of transiton, because that's life and I want to start grinding now because I don't want to still be this dependant on my parents in my 20s. I want to move away, even if anyone can give advice about independently finding accommodation for someone with Aspergers and any options for jobs too. I know to an extent I have to go out, communicate with others and get over being so anxious but it's been tricky.

Setting goals for myself has caused me frustration when it should really be benefitting me, so anybody who is able to advise me on how to achieve these goals effectively and not let any obstacles get in my way?

I would appreciate it, Thanx :)



Fnord
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06 Feb 2016, 9:48 am

Don't worry about what other people think of you. Just ignore them and do what you need to do (as long as it's legal).

Other than that, there's not much advice that I can give a Londoner.


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Callmesisixoxo
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06 Feb 2016, 11:24 am

Thanx, I was thinking of putting on a confident front ^_^ and not letting so much affect me, even though I worry a lot. Yep, things in London can sometimes work differently compared to other areas.



Fnord
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06 Feb 2016, 12:16 pm

I'm near Los Angeles, so the resources available to you are unknown to me.

Don't let them discourage you or talk you into staying.


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mik9
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06 Feb 2016, 2:11 pm

Callmesisixoxo wrote:
Setting goals for myself has caused me frustration when it should really be benefitting me, so anybody who is able to advise me on how to achieve these goals effectively and not let any obstacles get in my way?

You could try to divide your main goals into smaller goals, which are more managable in a shorter time. That way you can see a progress towards the big goal.



Callmesisixoxo
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06 Feb 2016, 2:43 pm

You are right, I have been giving it a go, main goals are to focus on my diet and career, it can be tough but hopefully once I see a bit of results and make those steps with a job, I can build up the other goals. I might just have to put anxiety behind me/build confidence that might be a goal I can have before finding that career I'd enjoy.



Scorpius14
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06 Feb 2016, 11:08 pm

I'm also sort of in london (suburbs), but anyway I have been on benefits for 2 years, at the start I went to college to do a meaningful course (at the time) in the IT industry that is still sort of booming but the software development skills aren't really transferrable as alot of those jobs require degrees or are outsourced to other countries.

Now at the present day my qualifications mean pretty much nothing at all, nonetheless it means I can program intermediate code using high-level languages/IDE's, build computers, set up networks, and all 1st & 2nd line IT support roles. I briefly achieved my independence whilst at university by being away from parents doing the wrong courses and inevitably failed and had to move back home removing my independence and effectively being 'dependent' on my parents for shelter, food, electricity, water and all the basic needs among the occasional luxuries like fast food.

These things aren't meant to last though, you mentioned that you wanted independence, I had my taste of independence at university but I assume it feels different to have your own place, a certain freedom of what you can do, given your choice whether to live alone or with friends. I tried my hand at retail and office administration; retail was too noisy and customer oriented, and office gave me high levels of anxiety, even though it was quiet, but phones are pretty much an inevitability, only thing that worries me are the bosses breathing down my neck.

I know that you can't get housing benefit until a certain age (I think 35) if you plan to live alone. Sharing accommodation has no age limit on housing benefit afaik (whole system is confusing so I could be wrong altogether). Sharing is a terrifying prospect to consider when going on the housing list, you'll be planning food, bills, rent between each other, communicating with your housemates will depend on how much your condition affects you of course.

Only thing I can think of is:

- getting a job and saving enough so you won't have to get housing benefit and either decide to live in a single flat for a few years or

- get a mortgage for a house if you feel like you can keep a job for more than a year but also you might find this to be of shared accommodation as mortgages are usually shared among a 2 or more people (generally with couples).

(flats aren't too bad but I like to do my own housework/DIY in my own house, just a hobby of mine)



btbnnyr
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06 Feb 2016, 11:19 pm

I think you just need to try and apply for some jobs and see what happens.
And study hard in college so you can graduate and get into a career that you like and become independent.


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Callmesisixoxo
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25 Feb 2016, 10:56 am

I'm definitely applying for jobs :) Most good jobs seem to be for extroverts so I applied for door to door fundraising because I do want something that takes me out of my comfort zone, but because I'm quite a fast typer and pay attention to detail I might keep searching for part time work where those skills can be used as well as get a support worker who has experience working with people with Aspergers if needed. Just searching for a service near me which can provide that support.



mik9
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25 Feb 2016, 2:13 pm

That's great to hear :D