anyone considering enlisting in the military?

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This is topic not only for parents of AS teens, but for any teens/young adults that wish to respond and/or have resources.

My son is 17 and is seriously talking about joining the military after he graduates from high school. The thought of this is frightening to me as he finds it hard to articulate his motivations for doing so. Like many people with AS, he tends to see only one side to the story and in this case, I'm afraid he is glorifying the military as something it is not. He loves the video game, Halo and I'm afraid his obsession with that is what is motivating him. I think he wants to feel a sense of belonging and a sense of physical and personal power through this, but he has yet to explore very many other options. We have both talked with a recruiter and basically the recruiter said once he's accepted, it would be a minimum of three year active and 5 "inactive."

He has had an IEP since 5th grade and is currently on Wellbutrin, which he knows he would have to be off of for six months before the military would even consider him.

Have any other parents been in this situation and does anyone have any information on whether he would even be accepted?

Any information/replies would be helpful.

Thank you.

As a teenager I went through a slow and steady process in which, for the most part, parent, teachers, and whoever else got the chance tore me down and disempowered me as much as possible. Part of me wants to be let loose in a combat zone with a machine gun where it is legal to cut loose and kill a bunch of people as long as they look like terrorists.

That part is restrained by the part of me that has been told that the law is meant to serve the people, as is education, and that parents are supposed to raise children wisely and compassionately. What I have left is hoping that one day this ideal will be put into practice instead of people simply being forced to pretend that it is in practice. A growing person should feel good every time he or she achieves something, whether it's learning how to drive, how to do math, how to frame a house, or any useful or even esoteric skill.

The road to becoming an adult once seemed clear. Learn to drive a car by the age of 16, get part time jobs, work up to full time jobs, learn how to save money, and learn how to have sex and drink alcohol. Now it's treat everything that could possibly be part of growing up as if it is poison that is going to blow up in your face and attack you and claw you up and kill you or worse. And yes, the whole mess makes just as much sense as that last jumbled sentence.

Confront this and you will have your solution to a young adult who wants to go to war to become a man and prove himself. You may or may not be someone who has learned from all those who came home messed up by fighting in a pointless war.

Maybe my experience will be of some use to you.

It's your son's life, and he should be able to make that decision for himself when the time comes. I also have a great deal of respect for anyone willing to put their life on the line for our country.

That being said, the reality of being in the military is much different than any video game.

Basic training was fun for the most part. The rest was trying, and not the best situation for someone with AS. Not a lot of running around and shooting at bad guys (even for soldiers with that kind of MOS), compared to the endless hours of waiting and doing seemingly menial tasks. Boredom is poison for me.

I also find constantly being around groups of people to be mentally exhausting. There is little or no opportunity for solitude in the military. Group living arrangements are the norm, being able to read social cues could be necessary for survival under certain circumstances, and submission to authority is mandatory.

Let him know that you value his willingness to serve his country, but point out the realities to him.

I'm not positive, but I believe there may also be a program where he can try it on for size by spending time at an Army National Guard or Reserve armory before actually enlisting. Ask a recruiter.

If your son decides to go in, he should be completely honest about having Asperger's. He will have to provide his treatment records, and have a consult with a military psychiatrist before being allowed to enlist. The psychiatrist will evaluate him as to whether he can function without medication, and whether or not his neurological traits would pose a safety hazard to his unit.

The military can be an outstanding experience for some aspies, but joining during wartime is just crazy.

I was always suspicious about how I'd be treated in the military if I ever decided to enlist. And after I saw the movie Full Metal Jacket, I vowed to commit suicide if I ever get drafted. Anything, even death, is better than obeying an abusive drill sergeant, who will look for any excuse (and for me, it could be something I'm not even aware of) to treat soldier like sh*t.

I was going to join the National Guard full time when I was 17 (I would have been ready for Gulf War I ) but I was completely turned off from the idea when they pressured me to choose administrative work. I competed all the paper work and my next step was a physical exam but I never followed up. I would run out the back door and climb the fence at my home anytime a recruiter showed up at my house. The commanding officer at the time said I had the second highest ASVAB score he seen. But he was a total a$$ and was trying to pressure me to do the last job I would ever do.

I was researching this stuff some currently. I'm getting lots of advertising from the army and marines about becoming a commissioned officer (second lieutenant). Anyone else getting that kind of advertising?

Army now charging veterans for equipment damaged in war

Soldiers with brain injuries denied treatment

Female soldiers sexually assaulted, then marginalized

Army lowers recruitment standards to fill quotas

When even Charlie Schumer can tell that something is wrong, you know it's wrong.

Though I think the military is an honorable career, I personally wouldnt want to join at this point. Or any point. But especially right now.

I have epilepsy so I can't join{AND THANK GOD I HAVE EPILEPSY!} because I would be more of a danger to myself than I would to my fellow soldiers.

Having never been in the military, I'm not in a position to address the issue personally, however,

I enlisted fifteen years before there was such a thing as a diganosis so I cannot speak on if somone is medically eligeable. I was still on active duty for another seven years after my diagnosis (you can stay on active duty with some disabilities that were incurred in service) and the therapy and training I got has made a complete difference in my life. I left the service much more functional than I entered it.

As far as the environment goes I found it to be comfortably regimented. I always knew what the rules were, what I was supposed to wear, where I was supposed to be, what I was supposed to say to someone. As an Army truckdriver I was mostly left alone in my truck and no one thought it was odd or reclusive because well there was only one driver per truck and you drove all day nothing odd there, right?

I did two combat tours and innumerable field exercises. It's loud, bright, smells bad, chaotic, high pressure and unpredictable. Someone will give you one set of instructions and their counterpart may give you a different set. Then you get yelled at when you don't get them both done at the same time. Unlike most of your peers you will likely not have the easy cameraderie to share your feelings or a good working understanding of the friendly horseplay and such the others engage in to blow off steam. This may make the environment more difficult for you. Eventually (usually within about 3-4 years) you will have to be in charge and tell others what to do and explain to your supervisors what you have done and why. You know your abilities better than I do.

Ultimately you need to remember that people's lives are depending on your ability to do what you are there to do without freezing up or falling apart. Judge yourself honestly and it may be the best decision you ever make.