Do most employers look for someone "bubbly?
Or outgoing?
Because my father keeps saying that's the reason why I can't get a job
Just open up
But yet 15 min's later you want to tell me to be myself...being outgoing is not who I am
Why can't fathers, mothers, and employers understand that-that's just not who I am ...I mean not everyone can be that friendly ray of sunshine......
Does anyone else understand where I'm coming from?
Pardon typos
It's unfortunate but my experience has also been that outgoing people always get hired. They seem to choose sociable over ability almost every time. I very much understand where you are coming from. Even if I know I am very able to do the job I have a very hard time communicating that in an interview. That usually means I will not get the job. In fact, the only jobs I have managed to get over the years are through someone I know or somewhere that will hire anyone that is alive and cares about little else. It's difficult but with a lot of work you can find employment. You'll just have to work much harder than everyone else.
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A FireWire connector in a USB world.
That entirely depends on the job. If you're expected to work with customers or the public in general, then, yes, an employer would expect you to be more outgoing. That would be part of the job.
If the job is to balance the books or enter data into a computer, 'people' skills would be less important.
OTOH, you need to be at least outgoing enough to conversationally engage with the interviewer, or you won't even be considered. No interviewer is going to take you seriously if you stare at the floor, answer in monosyllables and "offer them a dead fish" when you shake their hand.
Hi
yes I am finding that this "bubbly/enthusiastic/passionate" thing is an issue for me.
I work in a mechanical engineering workshop, machining and assembling high-performance gearboxes for motorcycles and cars.
I do a very good job, and there are no problems with my performance. You would think that being extroverted is not required for this job...
However, recently the boss stated to me that he "only wants people working here who really want to be here, (i.e. are passionate about the job), not people who are here "just" to do the job... so I was to decide which category I belonged to."
This confused me, and I asked him if there was a problem with my work. He assured me that there were no issues in that regard.
I found myself unable to respond to his question, as I don't really get excited about much. I also find that most people in this industry don't get "excited" due to the repetitive nature of the work, and the type of concentration required to operate machinery. I also found his question somewhat insulting, as if the good work I was doing was irrelevant, compared to "passion" or "excitement" about the product... in other words, it would be better for me do do a crap job, as long as I did it "passionately"!
Of course, my silence on this subject has convinced the boss that I don't actually want to be in the job, and his attitude has certainly turned me off to the work.
I think that these issues are likely to be ongoing for me. I think it is partly the expression on my face (or rather, lack of it) that makes people think I am not "enthusiastic" or "passionate" about the work. Unfortunately they equate passion with interest and application... no "passion" equals "no interest" and "no application". I suspect that this is because for NT people, their emotional experiences are the most important, and they infer all else from the emotional starting point.
The solution? I don't know! If I did I would already have a satisfying job with financial security.
I do know that smiling has a lot to do with other people liking you. And that if you can talk about relevant things that *interest* you (say, in the interview), you are more likely to come across as a *passionate* person.
The other thing is... most work is not obtained by replying to job advertisements and getting interviews. Think of other ways to become employed.
They say that a job interview in reality just lasts a few seconds. After those few seconds the employer has gotten a first impression and that is often what decides if the candidate gets the job. Of course in some jobs the candidate also needs some skills, but besides that I think there is some truth in it.
I'm starting to think the job interview is really similar to a poker game. You're dealt questions and how deftly you respond earns you points with the interviewer. Not necessarily how honest you are, but how clever you are. It seems almost literally like theatrics. The content of what you say is secondary to how well you say it.
Most entry level work for young people involves good people skills. But I've gone to plenty of restaurants and stores where the employees aren't anything close to "bubbly".
My philosophy? Fake bubbly long enough to get hired. I'm pretty sure that's what everyone else is doing.
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"I'm a weird dude, and it doesn't always work out in my favor, but the whole thing is supposed to say something: That a weak dude like me, odds against them, can make it, so can everyone else."
-Aleksander Vinter, aka Savant, EDM Producer
Ah well... That was before I was diagnosed and I'm more in need of charity to be able to give it as so it seems. If at all again, I would put focus on Autism or LGBT type volunteering using Computing skills, something more appropriate these days. I don't have the advantage of a minimum of 6 months volunteering for a CV that's often favourable for employers. I'm not even at the age that is favourable to me to be volunteering.
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"When you begin to realize your own existence and break out of the social norm, then others know you have completely lost your mind." -PerfectlyDarkTails
AS 168/200, NT: 20/ 200, AQ=45 EQ=15, SQ=78, IQ=135
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This is one of the reasons I believe their is no Autism epidemic. Multitasking also makes it harder for Autistics in the work world these days. While personality has always been important I believe that there is a large group of people with certain levels of severity who would have likely gotten jobs and kept them in the past can do neither these days. Another words same impairments, a difficult but functional life then, diagnostically disabled today.
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Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity
“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman
I also believe that this could be true.
After a fewjob interviews I started to think the same. Unforunately I just seem to bad in this game. It is difficult for me to do all the tasks wanted from the interviewer at the same time (this does not only include to answer the question but also looking friendly, find the right words for the answer, looking at the interviewer in a nice way, nodding and smiling when he says something...).
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English is not my native language. So it is possible that there are mistakes in my posts. Please correct me, I´m still learning.
I've been thinking about this for the general up and comings. They grew up with their faces planted to video game screens or texting, very little in person reactions, lacking social skills. How are they going to fair on the job hunt? Modern technology is creating autistic-like NT's.
I was looking for a new job for years and would be so exhausted after interviews, my husband did not get it at all.
I definitely know that feeling... all of the years of my mother, or men on the street, telling me to smile more.
I know I got lucky with my current job. I didn't have to be expressive to show my passion for my industry, because I've been blogging about it for a couple of years (my reputation online is what got me a friendship referral for the interview).
The thing is... my hiring VP. She said she wanted to ensure that I am a good fit personality wise as much as skills wise (~nervous~). But, I realize, once I started working here, all of the women in this workgroup are not quite bubbly (haha, I think the guys on our team are more expressive than the women).
Even if they're more outgoing than me and NT, they're all slightly more reserved, with lower timbres in their voice (just like the VP and the one female manager on the team), so I do not stick out as much as I normally do. I'm feeling really fortunate about that.
So, I've heard that managers hire people like themselves, I just wonder how many people like us there are out there?