Possibly being treated unfairly

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This is asking advice for my husband. He works as a service clerk for a grocery store in SoCal. He started off making $8.70/hour. At the first store, they treated him like CRAP even though he was one of the hardest workers there. Always calling him slow and stuff (his coworkers). His manager was horrible. The store was failing, too.

He transferred somewhere closer. He has been working at the new store for about 6 months. I feel like the stories he tells me are bad. His coworkers seem to have a lack of respect for him (mostly the younger MALES). Meanwhile, the older coworkers and females (and assistant managers) compliment him ALL the time. They tell him what a hard worker he is. He also got a raise every 3 months so far ($0.20 and then 0.30, not much)

OK, my husband was working so hard that at one point he was pretty much doing double the work (in terms of pace and constantly doing labor) compared to all of the other people. He never uses his cell phone at work, never gets distracted, and always asks questions when he is confused so he has clarification.

The overall store boss kept implying getting promotions (a few times), but kept giving them to someone else. In fact, the guy who he was replacing thought he worked so well that he recommended him taking the job. Well, now that guy is being replaced. My husband finally got the promotion (and was told by the store boss that he specifically has the job). He starts the new position next week. The assistant manager said "We will have to give you a raise to make it worth it to you". This promotion is technically a manager type position where he had to take a company class and pass the test to get certification. He also will be doing way more labor because he will be working with loading things and such, also.

Here are his issues with his job:
-A few people (the younger males) are ALWAYS sarcastic to him and insult him in subtle ways. They also criticize him a lot. One person even told him "Just so you know, I want 'insert job position'" when he was supposed to be promoted the first time. It was like a subtle challenge to him as in "Back off", even though the manager was the one who wanted to promote him.

-Even though he is criticized, almost no one offers advice on what to do NEXT time to prevent so-called problems. I'm actually thinking my husband isn't messing up, because these are NOT managers that are criticizing him.

-The overall manager is VERY vague, and keeps switching his job! Even though he is supposed to start his "promotion" next week, the manager said "...but it might change in the future". UHM? Everyone ELSE has job stability that is promoted. My husband is literally one of the ONLY ones that is trained to do a bit of everything and they keep switching his jobs and schedule without asking or notifying him in advance! One week it's a service clerk, the next it's this... They kept telling him they "didn't want to promote him because he's the best store clerk" but they kept hiring more and more service clerks and cutting his hours even though he could have picked up those hours. They literally hired like 3 people and gave the 3 extra people 4 hours/week and cut my husband's work. This sounds like BS to me.

-Even though he was promoted, I still think his job title is still "associate". Even though it's a grocery store, if you're promoted, doesn't your title change?

-This store and company has a history of the following: giving promotions without any pay raise even after YEARS(aka making minimum wage while being an assistant manager while the people that have been there a few years make like 15 bucks an hour or more) and hinting at promotions but hiring outside of the company even though people working at that store are already trained for the job

-Here is the biggest issue I'm concerned about: They didn't tell him anything about a raise. Well, the assistant manager did, but they never informed him or negotiated. FIY: the original person who he was supposed to replace was making $25/ hour, and the guy he is replacing now (doing the EXACT same job) is making $20/hour. I told my husband given the pay rates at other grocery stores and the fact that cashiers start off making like $10/hour, $12/hour or up is the only fair wage he should accept because he is doing a LOT more labor than others and is a manger. As a reference, other managers in his specific position usually start off making like $13/hour.



I'm afraid they won't give him a raise at all, actually. I've urged him to ask what his wage will be, as he has a right to know. Personally, I know there are plenty of people at that store that are older (like 30) and make like $25-$30/ hour. Meanwhile, the younger people that have worked there for YEARS are still stuck at minimum wage. WTF? And yet they will hire outside people and start them off at $11/hour. My husband also stutters a lot and is trying very hard to help social contact. He is not extroverted. His bosses are always asking him if he's upset because he forgets to smile and has a monotone voice and expressionless face. I've actually thought he might be discriminated against (we pretty much know he's also autistic but he's waiting a bit to get a diagnosis). I've noticed his boss almost always hires very charming and extroverted people when he was supposed to get promoted.

What should my husband do? I'm so sick of people treating him as if he's a kid (people talk to him like he's stupid or "slow", even though he saves them money by doing twice the freaking work as others). He's a great employee. The store next to them even offered him a job because the manager saw how hard he works! I'm tired of the managers being vague. I feel they are using him as cheap labor. Think about it: If they could employ someone for half the price to do the same amount or more work than them, a lot of greedy companies would do it.

Retail/fast food is like that. I would never work retail/fast food if I could it.

Does your husband know how to type? Maybe he could pick up some office clerical job. Does he have arithmetic abilities? Is he good at math in general? Maybe he could be a bookkeeper.

The emphasis when picking up a job should be on HEALTH BENEFITS.

Do you have a Costco nearby? They pay AT LEAST $11.00 an hour. They value hard work. Especially if he's working in stock or something, he could be an Aspie and not suffer because of it. I believe they offer good benefits, too.

There's no shame in working any job--however, some jobs just SUCK, especially for the employee.

Has he a college education?

Thank you for your reply!

He does know how to type, and has discussed doing office work. Unfortunately, in LA county, the unemployment rate is high. He has no "in" for jobs like that. He has no experience in those jobs. Right now, he has very simple mathematical abilities. I'm hoping to teach him advanced math concepts. He wants to work with computers.

Yeah, he didn't get any health benefits. Technically, he's still "part time" but they usually give him full time hours. We are poor, so he would qualify for medi-cal (medical assistance).

That's funny. He actually wants to apply to Costco. Again, he has no "in", but he has a year of work experience doing load-type and labor-intensive work. He LOVES it, except sometimes he tries to talk to customers when they need help and they are as*holes.

This is his first job. He's 26. He was an immigrant here for years (out of status) and got his workers permit last year. I think with his whole history, unfortunately, he can't do much other than retail :'[

He is planning on getting a college education. My plan is this: I'm more likely to get a job than he is out of school because I'm willing to graduate sooner, I'll be a woman in a male dominated field (affirmitave action), and I already know somewhat high level math needed. So, I start college this Fall. After a year or two, I plan on trying to get a crapload of scholarships. I already will get a full pell grant ($5650/year). The issue is I don't want to take out too many loans. I can pretty much get educated for free because I'm so poor, but we have living expenses. My mother-in-law is horribly cruel and makes us pay $500 for rent even though we are way below the poverty level and she isn't. We have no choice but for one of us to work and one of us to go to college right now.

So, if I succeed in getting some scholarships, he will quit his job and go to school. However, if I get no scholarships, I'll wait until I can get an internship (electrical engineering still has some pretty good internships in SoCal that pay decent). If all else fails, I will just take out loans.

I feel so bad for him. His current manager is leaving and the new one is really mean according to my husband. Even worse: He's 23 years old only. Manager of a whole store. That usually takes at least 10 years of working to move up like that. I'm so sick of the only people getting good pay/promotions in this work are the people who know corperate and/or other managers. It's disgusting.

If there's a new Costco opening up in your area, have your husband apply, IMMEDIATELY.

Otherwise, still apply at Costco. Turnover is rather poor--but, still, he could apply for night stock work or something. Or maybe even regular hours--who knows? BJ's is a poor man's Costco. If it has benefits, I'd apply there, too.

You're both on MediCal, right?

You live in a highly-populated area, as I do (I'm in NYC). It's a bit easier than if you lived in a rural area. He should, perhaps, try the Temp services in downtown LA for office work. Sometimes, Temp leads to permanent, with benefits (Temp rarely has benefits).

How much did that other store offer your husband? Seems to me that the "other store" might have better values (i.e., pertaining to work ethic, etc).

He should at least apply at Costco. Never hurts to try. I think they hold applications for a year. He could apply online, and in the store, I believe.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 30 Apr 2014, 2:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Thanks for the advice. I will tell him to apply anyways. The good news is he has a scooter now, so I will try to find out if a new Costco is opening up anywhere near us. He will be able to make it to any shift because of the transportation we have now.

Well, at this store/company, turnover is also poor. I think a lot of low wage jobs are similar. I think he might have a chance at a place like Costco because he is technically a manager now.

Even though I will tell him about the temp agency, I want your opinion on the following questions:

-Is it socially acceptable for him to ask what his wage is and ask about possible raises without being pushy? Could this cause retaliation, even though the assistant manager is the one that mentioned it?

-Is asking for more hours wrong? As in, would it risk his job? (He's a bit paranoid about this, not me.)

-Do you think it would be worth it to just transfer to another store? He is allowed to at any time. Since he holds a certification as a "key carrier", they will most likely try to find him a position that fits that description.



*Mini Rant*- Boy, I hate low wage jobs. His previous store actually tried to cut his pay! As in, if he would work for 30 hours, they only paid him for 27, even though he had proof (he punched in and out). His company is also supposed to offer 20? hours of paid sick leave, but they don't let him use it in an emergency. It's kind of an unwritten rule, but so many companies violate both labor laws and company policy by making people work through their lunch break and rest breaks. I think it's horrible what some of these companies do. No WONDER they suck at customer service! If you treat your employees like crap and give all the profit to higher up people, what do you expect? If I ever run a company, I hope to treat all of my employees fairly, even if it means getting a smaller profit compared to being rich.

Unfortunately, I've been in a similar situation. I liked the work, and did it well, but, couldn't deal with the people BS... so got hired away by the restaurant next door, because the manager there knew of my reputation (moved from stock and shop work, with a side of cashiering, inventory and gas pumping... into bussing tables. Ended up liking bussing tables better).

Oh, and living situations are an area of strong feeling for me. My parents wanted to charge me rent when I was in college, even though they weren't helping pay for it. No thanks... if I'm paying rent, I'm making my own rules. Had a few crazy roommates and lived in some bad parts of town, had a couple weeks scattered around between apartments... but, for me at least, it was worth it to know I chose to pay that level of rent, not had someone force me to pay more for less space.

This is not an easy question. It depends on the nature of the store, really.

1. I thinking asking his wage is all right--they might wonder why he doesn't know his wage. Asking about raises might be problematic--it's retail, after all--I hate to say it: but retail jobs are a dime a dozen.

2. Nothing wrong with asking for more hours, whatsoever. Would it be inconvenient if he works other than the daytime shift? Sometimes, night shift is better for people, in general. I've been working night shift for years.

3. If transfers are okay, I would consider: how much extra gas would be to travel to the new place; or: would he lose his seniority if he would transfer (though it seems as if seniority doesn't matter, anyway).

Usually, you are treated better in office environments than in retail environments. Costco treats their employees well as well. They LOVE hard work.

Thanks for your story. My MIL is insanely controlling. She even just comes in our room and snoops around. I have trouble keeping my room clean (as in organized, not dirty) and she will come in and see it, and then scream at my husband for it. She treats me like a maid. She will scream if I leave dishes in the sink, but she will leave hers, expecting me to wash them. I will just be doing the dishes and she will come in, put the dishes right next to me, and walk away. When we got an inheritance from my husband's dead dad (which helped a LOT) she demanded we pay her credit card bill, even though she had money to pay it!! Since I moved here, I've given her at least $250-$300 every month. Sometimes, I'd give her just $500-$700 every 2 months instead.

She has helped every single one of her children except my husband. Helped them buy a car, with school, random crap, to get a start in life... and she just gives her one son in the Philippines hundreds per month to sit on his butt and get drunk and beat his wife. She makes enough money to be middle class, just got 20k from her dead husband, and yet she wouldn't even pay for the petition for immigration so her son could be legal. She said she would help, and it's her reason he was illegal, yet she expected me to marry her son and pay 1.5k at the tender age of 19. And my own therapist that I got rid of (for obvious reasons) told me I had no right to be mad because I shouldn't expect any help from anyone. We live in poverty, and we couldn't even afford basic meals before while they gorged themselves on dinners out all of the time.

My Brother-in-law is the same way. And to make matters worse, they were mad that we wouldn't pay $600/month even though, again, we are way below the poverty level.

Sorry, got a bit sidetracked. I really felt like you empathized with me there.

Do you have any tips for roomates? If we got a roomate, we could get a decent 2 bedroom to split for 600+utilities/person. So we could pay 600 and get a roomate who hopefully just leaves us alone. I can be somewhat naive, so I don't know how to "judge" if people had the ability to actually pay rent or not.

You brought up some things I didn't consider, kraftie. Thanks. I was just wondering because the assistant manager mentioned a raise to make the promotion "worth it". He actually is randomly put on shifts sometimes, but doesn't mind. Sometimes they have him work 10am-6 pm, then come back at 12am that same night to work AGAIN. He still does it, but whatever. I'm wondering why he's the ONLY person they do this to. Everyone else gets a somewhat consistent schedule because they work the same type of job every week. :/
From what I know, you can say what you want to be transferred as. For example, if he could wait, they would find him a key carrier position (that manager job he just got promoted to) when it opened up. Sometimes, you have to wait a few months, though, because the position has to open up somewhere. And sometimes, it's not at the store you want. But I'm pretty sure you can take it or leave it. Like, they ask you first from what I know.

I'm really going to tell him about Costco. Really, he loves hard work. He turns off his cell phone and just works straight through. How many young people do that?

I hope all goes well for you guys.

People from other countries, contrary to the stereotype, frequently work HARDER than people native to the US.

Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should he quit his job before he's sure he's got another job. That means after he's passed the drug test for the next job.

Another option: despite the fact that Civil Service sucks in LA, he should try to take some civil service tests, and get himself on the rolls.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 30 Apr 2014, 2:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Thanks! And thank you for all of the advice.

Yeah, those stereotypes are false. A lot of immigrants work labor-intensive jobs and work VERY hard. And yes, I would say a lot of them work harder than their American counterparts : x

So, in other words, wait until it's "official" aka by signing all the papers you sign when you get a job? Don't just take a good interview or a promise to give him the job as an actual reason to quit, right? I think that's what he wanted to do. I guess I have to prepare him for interviews now (he got his current job without one).

A funny short story to end this thread: The last interview he did, the female manager asked him if he has applied to any other places yet (because he just got his work permit). He did his usual smile (which can be misconstrued as "creepy") and said, "Yes, I applied to Victoria's Secret." And did his usual laugh (which is also misconstrued as creepy). I was like OH NOOOOO! He said she had this weird look on her face, but he didn't know what it meant. FYI, he applied as a JANITOR at Victoria's Secret, but didn't specify that to a FEMALE manager! LOL!! ! Talk about never getting a call back ;]

I would wait, at the very least, until he has a definite start time at the new job, and he filled out his W4. Sometimes, they do hire before the results of the drug and background tests come through.

NOT if he thinks he had a good interview. Ten people could have a "good interview," and only one would end up being hired for that job.

If he quit the present job, he (and you) would be left in the lurch.

OK. Yes, and judging from the past, a "good interview" to him is not that good.

I think we'll give this new promotion a few weeks to see if anything changes. If not, I will definitely tell him to apply to places he's wanted. The good news is once he has a degree, I think his hard work will be more appreciated.

Yeah, people like rules in their house. I'd get home from school, cook dinner, wash the dishes, then go to work. I couldn't have telephone calls after 7pm, wash my hair once a week to keep the water bill down... couldn't brush my hair in the bathroom, though, because it might get everywhere? Once you're home for the night you're home (that meant I'd take clothes with me and change out of my work clothes in a parking lot before I went out). I couldn't be out all weekend either, because I had to be home to help with the chores (laundry and deeper cleaning).
I'm sure there's more stuff I can't remember... needless to say, I couldn't invite people over, because I didn't want them to see me get treated like a child.
Oh, and I wasn't allowed to get a job before going to college, so my Grandpa bought me a car, and told my parents to pay the insurance... so they let me get a job so I could. BTW, they bought my big sister a car.

I don't know if I can give much advice for a roommate... First one, I stayed with friends parents... they only charged me $25 a week, and required that I help with dishes (but, there were always plenty of people around to help out, so it wasn't much work). Three of us shared their loft room, so at $75 a week, it was a help to them.
Next roommate was a guy I'd gone out with, but, it was a pretty platonic stay. I knew he worked and paid his bills. I got irritated that EVERYTHING was split down to the exact penny, but, at least he was totally fair. He did expect me to fix stuff he messed up, but, it was easier to make a repair than to hear him whine. I could only live with him one year, he drove me batty with drama, so I left (note, car insurance rates skyrocketed when I moved in with him, I wasn't banking on that expense increase from a zip code change).
Then I had a roommate in a crummy $275 a month apartment in a bad neighborhood. That was a friend I knew from church, so, if they'd stiffed me on rent, I'd complain to their grandparents who would lecture them. It was a good fit personality wise, we stayed out of each others way... but, she was really upset when our apartment was broken into and all of her jewelry was stolen (there was nothing else of value there).
Next roommate was the worst and the last... made a mess, complained if I didn't clean it up, sometimes made me pay rent twice in a month 'I forgot and spent the money, if you don't pay, we'll get evicted and it'll be your fault' etc.

I guess the only advice I can give is to know the person well before you move in together (or at the very least, know someone who knows them well)... and just be sure of what the lease says, so you don't get stiffed with fees, etc.

OH, you know, my Grandma lived alone, and she used to rent her two spare rooms to college students when I wasn't living with her. She lived in a nice area and didn't charge a crazy amount and there wasn't any early-termination fee for moving out like a landlord... and the young folks could help her out with chores she couldn't do herself when my Dad and Uncle couldn't get over. There must be other sweet old ladies out there like her who would rent a room to a young couple.
Unfortunately, she's passed away, so I can't ask how she advertised for tenants...

This is similar to my story. I have not been able to hold jobs. And always been told that i dont smile, i dont have facial expression etc etc
And recently i was insulted from my job of 3 years.

Anyways i was suggesting if the manager in the next store as offered him job why doesnt he take it up??? Maybe that manager would be more appreciative.

Thanks for sharing your story, MissDorkness. I'm so sorry you were treated so poorly. I'm glad you seem to be out of that environment. I will remember your experiences when trying to get a room mate. I think it would be better to take a change at this point than to continue to be with such toxic people. By the way, your story reminds me of how I was like when I lived with my mother. No one deserves that.

Namaste, I'm sorry. I'm able to smile and things like that (I think). It pains me when people talk about my husband like he is some sort of freak because he doesn't have many expressions on his face. It's so hard doing customer service when they expect you to smile ALL the time. I never expect that of people. As long as they aren't mean to me, I often compliment them. I feel like everyone has bad days, and some like you and my husband don't even know they aren't smiling. It's not that important to me, but to the manager, for some reason, it is.

I'm sorry you were insulted. Do you mean fired? Or that you still have your job, but they insulted you? Regardless, it's hard out there. It's even harder when all you want to do is WORK but people make thing so complicated!

My husband would just take the other job if it had more hours. It would only be about 20 hours or so a week, I think. Unfortunately, that's not enough hours right now.