People Knowing You've got Asperger's

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This post actually came from another post I was replying to but I made such a good point that I thought it warranted its own post.

I work for the Australian Federal Government and at work, everyone there knows I'm an Aspie (mostly due to the fact that I wear my "Aspie" T-shirt to work ) and ever since certain people have found out (one woman mainly), they've been extra nice to me but with some of them (the woman), it feels a little unintentionally condescending. It's almost like she's talking to a child since she found out (although I am very mentally young and naive for a 47 year old. I didn't grow up properly). I have noticed a shift in people's behavior towards me once they found out I've got Asperger's. I don't know what their experiences with Autism are but I'm bloody glad they're nice about it.

Do any of you get discriminated against because of your gift?

Uh, yeah.
Once it was found out I have AS I was suddenly untrustworthy, unreliable and unprofessional.
But they can go fornicate with themselves.
Have a nice day.

Hi ImAnAspie - I have worked in state and federal government in Australia too. I don't wear Aspie T-shirts, however, as my work clothing is rather formal (suit and tie).

I have told a number of people at work about my diagnosis. I suppose for me one of the reasons for telling people is that I wanted the diagnosis and I think of it as positive - a relief, a moment of enlightenment about myself - I wasn't some kind of second rate floundering and failing NT, I was a normal Aspie. I had finally discovered what I am and that there were lots of other people like me.

But most people don't view AS as a positive thing like that. They see it is "broken", "defective", "not normal" ... "lesser", a "bit strange". Telling some people you have AS can be a little like telling them you have "the plague". From their perspective, we simply have a psychological disability, so it is easy to go into condescending mode: lots of people with physical disabilities get this treatment too.

I think this is all tied up with the concept of "privilege": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Privilege_%28social_inequality%29
You have encountered an example of NT privilege (roughly speaking: the majority group considers itself superior).

I have told some people I work with I am an Aspie. One dipwad was saying "Dimmy" a reference to Timmy on Southpark. They just view me as an intelligent ret*d. If I had it to do over, I would not disclose I have Aspergers. It is by no means something I am ashamed of but I feel the majority of people view Aspergers in a negative way.

Well, things are going to change drastically soon. Immigration is merging with Customs. I think we're all going to have to carry guns from the sound of things.

"Not normal" - I'm not normal. I've always known I was different from when I first started mixing with other kids in kindy but that suits me fine. It always has because I never wanted to be a part of them anyway!

The diagnosis is a positive. The first time a psychiatrist in Elizabeth St. Sydney diagnosed me back in 2007, I got annoyed because I didn't know what it was apart from a form of Autism and I rebelled. It later got picked up by a different psychiatrist... some 6 years later. Then I thought "There must be something in this!" 2 different psychs both come to the same diagnosis without knowing each other. That's when I looked into it. And realised why both had made the same diagnosis. Funny, you can have this and have a lot of similar behaviors to other people (Aspies - Special Interests, lack of eye contact, hyperfocus, can't read body language etc.). I'm not a very social animal so the deficits don't bother me but the advantages certainly out way the bad. I'm rambling again.

Generally, a substantial portion of NT,s respond to anything out of the "normal" with cognitive dissidents or also called internal thought conflict. It could be for any number of reasons. They don't believe it because they steriotype the (r) word with a general association which is ignorant, rude, and disrespectful to us. A "disability" (I use the term loosely) is usually something they think of as an extreme, like someone in a wheel chair or being unable to do anything. The fact of the matter is we are different on a neurological level, we are wired differently. Temple Grandins book "The Autistic Brain" has research on the subject which in further readings explains it is on a biological scale, not psychological.

Some of us are able to socialize so by that it is frowned upon because the look for something they can not see or view it as something that can "be helped" if we try or "it is for attention". I grew up in a education system that classified me perceptually impaired-II, even after a slew of tests that pointed out aspergers. It wasn't until later years and many professionals later that I was diagnosed. I had to deal with this same thing many times before and many hardships that other survivors usually experience...

Some are supportive but others will see the naive or lack of understanding as easily manipulated and use it to cause trouble. Other times it is just something certain parties use to look down on you because we are not like them. Which is more unevolved behavior than anything. I spent time using my gift of patterns to develop a system to blend in better, but it had its consiquences.

The best thing to do in a situation like this is to ignore the behavior. Not the person, but the negative behavior they exhibit. Try to be passively conscious of a positive feeling while you do this to maintain passive cognitive homeostasis. If she sees you are being bothered she will continue to do it. While using this technique, keep in mind it is best not to linger. It is mentioned to be used as a temporary coping method because it can cause a misunderstaning if engaged in contact for long durations. We all have our experiances but using those to help each other is important because we are not alone. There is nothing wrong with being an Aspie, it is a gift and should be looked at positively. Never forget; different, not less.

I work in city/county government. I haven't told anybody, specifically, that I have Aspergers/Autism--though, I have mentioned that I didn't start speaking until I was 5 1/2 years old.

I don't see the point in mentioning what I "have." It won't gain me a promotion or more money.

I have gotten into trouble because of my "oddities"; however, I have been at my job 34 straight years---so, perhaps I'm doing something right LOL. I think I came close to being fired in 1985--somebody might have been trying to screw me in some way--but I was able to prove, by using my cognition, that I didn't make the "mistakes" which somebody claimed I made. I stopped being a "fruitcake" for that moment--became a logical, rational NT.

I'm known as something of a fruitcake, eccentric, etc. Once people get to know me, however, they often like me much better than what their first impression was. It is because I try to treat people like I want to be treated, I believe. I try to be myself, rather than some "cool" person. I believe people respect that, as long as they don't perceive a threat to their job or their person.

As many know, I disclosed publicly and recently. Despite this, I have always agreed with kraftiekortie and others who believe that they don't disclose unless doing so would gain some tangible support or benefit for them.

That said, I examined my life and found little reason not to disclose because I already receive disability benefits for my physical disabilities and no longer work. Adding my possible neurological disabilities to the mix wouldn't gain anything for me. So, that consideration is moot.

Since I am essentially a free-agent citizen, I would lose only a few friendships by disclosing and I am familiar with that recurring experience. So, I guess I do get some discrimination from others who react by avoiding me (I have noticed some distance from a few others since disclosing, but that is all). Mostly, people in my life have shown interest and some have called me "cute" in the harmless, diminutive way.

But, kraftiekortie, I didn't know you work in local government! Small world for us, huh? I was in and out of my local government for several years. It is a great life unless you get a hostile supervisor. That happened to me twice. So, your wisdom remains valid: Don't disclose unless the path is clear of landmines.

Luckily for now, mine is quite clear, friendly and calm. By the way, I wonder if you didn't speak until you were 5-1/2 years of age because you were assembling your considered opinions about this place we call Earth until your expressions were needed -- kinda like you do now.

LOL....I really wish I knew why I didn't speak until that late date. I believe it was something neurological, perhaps related to not being "inspired" to socialize because I only saw faces in a general sense, rather than discerning specific features of faces. Perhaps, at age 5 1/2, through "inspiration" bought on by both therapy, my mother's rather forceful intervention, and interactions with fellow humans, that I finally came out of Plato's Cave.

I highly recommend people read "Allegory of a Cave"--this encourages people to be patient--to "introduce" the "light" to people gradually, rather than in "one fell swoop"). I think this is an excellent guide for therapists. I often don't follow that advice--I want results NOW NOW as a result of any advice I give. But I still believe this work is illustratively indispensable.

I feel like the "proper" axonal connections, enabling me to interact at least superficially with others, finally occurred as a result of the above. Residual autistic/Aspergian symptoms remained, and remain to this day.

While I believe civil service positions could cause one to remain stagnant vocationally, and to feel a sense of complacency and ennui, I still recommend that people with ASDs pursue these sorts of positions. They provide stability, they don't, for the most part, emphasize human interactions/teamwork, and they provide a pension for people when they retire (though many agencies are either switching to 401k's in the US, or offering 401k's as an alternative.

Sorry. I was having a moment.
What I meant to say is that the people I work with are the most wonderful, supportive, caring people it has ever been my pleasure to know.
It's really only one person in particular who could use a little self-love.

We all have our "moments."

I know the feeling, I make light of it and say that I already know that I'm 'an acquired taste'.
Very few people like me right off, but, they all grow to like me or at the least respect me and treat me nicely (because I'm fair and don't engage in gameplay... lol, as if I had a choice in the matter).

You have a most pleasant taste, if you ask me!

Uuuuuum.... that don't sound right...

I mean that in a chaste sense.

In the sense of "acquired taste" vs. "taste" in general

Which means that you are a person who "tastes" well, and whose perception of pleasantness does not have to be acquired later. You taste well as a decent person, right away.

This was not a "double-entendre" type phrase.

All in all, it was meant in good fun. And I realize, now, that you took it that way as well, and that I should have known that.

You're such a Daria! LOL