I have a huge dilemma. After being very successful as a museum curator (I dealt with things more than people and really enjoyed my work), the president retired and after much mental struggle I said I'd take over (it took over a year for me to acquiesce). Now I deal with budgets, personnel, the board, local politics, lots of interruption, and I am having trouble focusing and accomplishing what I should. I don't like that I feel drained much of the time. Deep down I knew that the director's position would be extremely difficult for me and take too much out of me. I didn't hear about AS until after I said I'd take the job. I'm pretty sure I have AS, and I will be tested later this year.
Since I first leaned about Asperger I've been writing a book about autistic traits in several generations of my family (history! genealogy! special interest!), and about how the traits look in someone [myself] who functions at a high level (genetics! autistic spectrum! special interest!). I feel that the book has a good chance of getting published, and if it is published everyone will know that I identify with AS, an ultimate Asperger outing.
I'd love to quit my job and find something that suits me better, but there are only certain things at which I excel. If I'm not really interested in what I'm doing, forget about it. Professionally, it's also difficult because I would have a hard time convincing a potential employer that I would take a jr. position after being a president. I need the income, and who knows if I'll get published or if it would earn me much. I'm working on developing more options but I feel cornered.
Wow! It feels great to be able to spew in writing on WrongPlanet!
Z
_________________
. . . the basest of all things is to be afraid . . .
William Faulkner
Nobel Prize Speech, 1950