What is the big deal about dress?

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hyperlexian
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28 Dec 2011, 9:50 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

i have problems with dress codes, and i don't like to conform. usually i find a way to fit the dress code while still being highly individual.

ToadofSteel, i saw some great advice in the book Rules of Work that advises people to wear top-notch clothing that still fits the dress code standards. so essentially, if jeans are worn - make them designer jeans. if t-shirts are worn - make them top quality, unfaded, and clean, with no distracting logos or jokes that make you seem less than serious. if button-up shirts are worn - make sure they are clean and pressed and high quality.

these strategies allow you to fit in... while being slightly better than the crowd. there is a reason for that. if you want to stay in your current position, then by all means maintain the status quo. but if you want to go up or out, you should give the impression of being slightly above the competition already.

To be honest, that's even harder for me to fathom than the actual levels of dress... I'd rather go up a dress level than buy expensive clothes and spend exorbitant amounts of time whilst staying at the current level. It makes infinitely more sense to me to wear a $20 polo shirt and $25 slacks than a $100 designer t-shirt and $200 jeans. I have enough crap to spend money on, like food, a cell phone (not even a smartphone, just a plain old cell that just calls and texts), and loan payments. I don't need to spend beyond my means, and I for one absolutely refuse to buy designer when there are more economical alternatives out there. (that said, I do refrain from distracting logos/slogans and the like, and I always wear clean clothes)

To me, "standing out" is something that is achieved by quality of work, especially after the time for first impressions is long past and your foot is already way in the door. To a lesser extent (but still significant), it's one's demeanor. A person who b*****s all the time would be passed over in my mind for someone who just gets the job done. At least that's how it would be done if I were in HR; the less neat (not outright slob, but just less neat) man who is quiet and efficient would be considered over the loudmouth in the designer outfit.

That said, clothes can affect demeanor as well. I for one gain a slight attitude problem the further up the "formal" ladder I go. Why? Because formality has a direct correlation to discomfort. Most formal wear chokes the life out of me in 3 places: neck, waist, and feet. Waist is slightly avoidable through loosening of the belt, although too loose means my shirt becomes untucked and in severe cases causes plumber's crack. Neck can be alleviated until I get to the shirt-and-tie level, as most button-down shirts aren't buttoned at the top without a tie on. But the feet is just impossible to deal with. I have unusually wide feet, and it's impossible to find shoes that fit without spending a fortune on them. I don't understand how people feel pride in formal wear... all I feel is pain.

i think quality of work is paramount. but when the higher-ups are comparing two equal employees, they will be biased towards the person who looks "smarter". now, i don't think this is at all fair or just, and i DON'T dress up at my work, but for people that want to make a very good impression, the right clothing helps.

i also have problems with shoes (very wide toes/ball of foot with narrow heels and ankles, plus an extra bone in there. really) - i wear the widest ones in men's styles, which is wider than women's shoes are even made. so i either have to wear men's, or suffer horribly, or wear shoes that are 2 sizes too long. it sucks. so i know what you mean. i can also rarely find dress clothes that fit properly and i can't afford tailoring. i can sew my own clothes, but with steady weight loss it is impractical to take the time. dress clothes SUCK. but they do come across well.

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StillStanding
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31 Dec 2011, 4:00 am

Asp-Z wrote:

OP is correct - the emphasis our society puts on clothing is stupid. The reason it matters to so many people, though, is because they put a lot of weight on first impressions. If you look professional they trust and respect you more. As I said, it's incredibly stupid, but then, people are.

I recently heard a story about how, in my area, there was recently this conman who dressed up like a professional businessman and basically talked people into giving him their money, and he was fairly successful in doing so, because a lot of people naturally trusted him without question.

So, for very illogical and, quite frankly, pathetic reasons, the clothing you wear does matter to an extent. That said, if your workplace is casual, and you're willing to dress smart when doing so is required, you have little to worry about anyway, unless you want to become a conman

This is exactly how I feel. I still cannot understand why there is such an emphasis on clothing. I really hate "dressing up" and feel as though people can be too shallow and superficial when it comes to appearance. I have different people drilling into my head why appearance is so important and although I still can't comprehend why (especially when I don't care what people think) it is important to care a little more about the way i dress. I keep saying it is not how I feel about myself, it is all about comfort.

BUT

I do complain how people treat me a little different, and some of that it may have to do with the way I look. I hate dressing up and looking like everyone else but I've been told I should try to blend in a little bit more, nothing too drastic to help my social difficulties.

I can be quite defiant but as uncomfortable as it is, I decided to go ahead and pay a little more attention to my outward appearance, to help my social life as well as with employment. To those who say dressing up makes you feel better, not for me at all, it makes me feel very, very uncomfortable.

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BTDT
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31 Dec 2011, 12:00 pm

What comes down to is that by sacrificing physical comfort, you reduce the amount of social discomfort you will encounter is social situations.

Sunshine7
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01 Jan 2012, 2:12 pm

Quote:

formality has a direct correlation to discomfort. Most formal wear chokes the life out of me in 3 places: neck, waist, and feet. Waist is slightly avoidable through loosening of the belt, although too loose means my shirt becomes untucked and in severe cases causes plumber's crack. Neck can be alleviated until I get to the shirt-and-tie level, as most button-down shirts aren't buttoned at the top without a tie on. But the feet is just impossible to deal with. I have unusually wide feet, and it's impossible to find shoes that fit without spending a fortune on them. I don't understand how people feel pride in formal wear... all I feel is pain.

Business casual is the most uncomfortable get up I've ever worn. And I've worn military fatigues with ceramic plate protective vests before.

A good 2-button suit, now...all you need is a gun and a license to kill. And an English accent.

anxiouspoet
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03 Jan 2012, 7:19 am

I think it's obvious how dress matters if you're trying to look sexy, but for looking "professional" it's really all just a silly game.
I find it slimy and disingenuous the way that people immediately change their demeanor when they bust out the fancy duds. People who are typically calm and relaxed will walk around like self-important pricks with a stick up their bums as soon as they get themselves into a business suit. Then there's the way people get very "proper" at "formal" affairs. They act weird and stiff. What a ridiculous social expectation.
I get the perverse urge to stand up wave my arms and shout "Hello! You're all acting like children!"

El-ahrairah
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06 Jan 2012, 2:28 am

I like "dress codes" because you don't have to worry about being fashionable. I've never had to wear a tie, but I generally dress 'business casual' (more business than my peers.) NOT having to worry about what colors or fabrics or whatever are 'in' is great. So I typically wear khakis or dark pants, button-down shirt, and get compliments (!) because I dress pretty well.

Madao
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07 Jan 2012, 3:09 am

It's because NTs have a terrible habit of judging people on outside appearances. Notice how fashion is a multimillion dollar industry? There's a reason for that. (Very true for females at least.)

Embroglio
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12 Jan 2012, 2:15 pm

It does matter, if 2 people were trying to sell you a car and their sales pitches were identical. Who would you choose the person who's wearing a button down shirt, and chinos? Or the person who's wearing a ratty old t shirt that should only be worn for yard work, and sweat pants?

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15 Jan 2012, 4:37 am

I work for a NGO everyone there is under dressed they wear shabby clothes, no make up, hair oiled and tied in a plait.

I cant dress like that because as a child i was deprived of good clothing and so now whenever a opportunity comes up i end up dressing elaborately.

There was a party in my office recently and dress code was black and white but i had a old black and white dress so i didnt wear it and instead dressed up in blue...

To my dismay everyone else was in black and white except me it was embrassing

now i have decided to be cautious of what im wearing

mushroo
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15 Jan 2012, 12:10 pm

There are two barbers in town. Would you rather have your hair cut by the barber with a terrible haircut and the floor of his shop is messy with hair, or by the barber with a nice haircut and his shop is immaculately clean?

Sunshine7
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15 Jan 2012, 12:28 pm

Quote:

I think people just like things that are aesthetically pleasing. This is true for every human being on the planet - things that are pleasing on a purely sensory level have a sentimental/emotional appeal.

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29 Jun 2012, 7:09 am

mushroo wrote:

There's the old adage: Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.

Too casual, and you look either sloppy, not prepared, poor, or not classy. Dress too formal, and you're wearing a tux and evening gown to work.. which is weird.

Dressing to a reasonable standard is necessary. It gives you prestige. It makes you look more important. It's hard to take people wearing sweats or very casual clothing seriously for most professionals in the workplace.

There are business-appropriate clothes out there that are comfortable. And, dress one step up from your co-workers. If they're wearing jeans, wear decent business slacks. If they're wearing suits, wear a suit. Don't out-dress the boss, necessarily, but don't dress like the secretary or maid, either.

ghoti
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29 Jun 2012, 9:47 am

mushroo wrote:

I might take that they cut each others hair, so take the one with the bad haircut as he cuts better.

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