Accusations of an "attitude problem"??

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I mean that that is technically the *best* work attitude to have, but it's not the best attitude to have. The best attitude for you to have is to focus on just the task at hand. People around you are going to do what they are going to do, and if you want to learn how to be more socially appropriate or whatever, don't practice in the workplace, mainly because you won't learn the proper things to do since everybody feels like they are being watched. That's the best overall attitude, to do the work. I just have a rotten view of the workplace in general.

Mindslave I believe you are mostly correct. People do feel "watched" and are being observed...

But there are times when personal agendas come into play; especially when it comes to promotions.
Co-workers will act how they want the Supervisor to see them; maybe not always to be "kissing-up", but also so the general perception by others is that the person with the agenda is the right person for advancement.

I also have a poor view of the workplace (this does not mean I don't like to work).

The social politics is hard to navigate , even with the coping skills I have managed to acquire over the years.

I've always explained it like this: The big boss of any company is the guy who has to make all the really tough decisions. Imagine the crap he has to put up with. Think of how full of s**t the average person is, and then realize that the boss has to deal with 10 times more. So promotions will always favor people that are full of s**t because it's easier for them to absorb it, since their attitude is "yes sir yes sir, three bags full" What does the right hand man do? What do you do with YOUR right hand? Think of what the boss does with both of his, and then it becomes clear why every boss needs a right hand man.

So that's why promotions don't favor Aspies. And as far as that's concerned, you don't want a promotion. More money, sure, but not a promotion. Also keep in mind that everyone wants the boss to throw them a bone, which is related to why they act the way they do. Being able to navigate that is not a good skill to have. Useful, maybe, but certainly not good.

@Mindslave,
Really, my comment about "navigating" the work place was just that; a comment.
Believe me, I have had more than my fair share of workplace "teachable moments".

It would be nice to just find a job I really enjoy doing AND be able to make a living at it .

Sorry to all for the tangent.

I had no intention of "hi-jacking" this thread with any of my musings .

Please, back to the Accusations of an "attitude problem"??

He does pretty much bully, but he knows about my AS (however, I don't think he really understands it). Sigh...I got called out again today.

I was writen up due to my "attitude" about working music. I was hired to work in the video area and told them when I was hired I can not work music. Somehow "can not" do something was an attitude problem.

Jayo, I am currently in that exact situation. Now I have to leave a job that I really enjoyed doing. Is that really no other way for us AS types to at least protect ourselves from manipulations/bullying like that? I am really sick of changing jobs so often.

This is precisely what has got me fired from at least 3 jobs. I'm generally OK when I'm being judged on my work habits or the quality of my work. Where I've failed is with authority figures who demand some gesture or verbalization of deference, though a solution is not so simple as just to consciously "suck up" to authority figures. Often it comes down to office politics more than anything else.

When it happens once, I could assume that it was a problem with that particular work environment - some person on a power trip, or coworkers who just didn't like me. But when it happens over & over again, I have to think that the problem is with me. I mean, I'm competent, trustworthy, never absent, always on time (thanks to my "routines" - I have to have some quiet time by myself before & after I face potentially stressful social situations), don't have any problems with alcohol or substance abuse, so why is it that I have repeatedly got run off from jobs at which I'd done good work?

The short answer is office politics. This is the pattern that always seems to repeat itself. I get hired & quickly establish myself as competent & dependable. I settle into my work routine & focus on my job, but have a tendency to neglect the social side of things. After some time - a few months, or 2 or 3 years - there is a change in ownership or management. The power relationships change, the hierarchy rearranges itself, & as the office politics plays out, I always find myself on the outside looking in. When the end comes, it's usually over a pretext, rather than some specific failure or dereliction. It's not just that the relevant authority figure has come to dislike me, he/she comes to regard me with outright contempt.

I've pondered this predicament often, but the best I can come up with is my lack of response to nonverbal cues, also my tendency to take language literally & not discern what one is "really" saying. But also this - when someone is yelling at me, or dressing me down in view of other people, my mind literally goes into a shutdown, like a computer overloaded with input, & I just go mute. This never fails to cause an authority figure to explode with anger.

Yup. This is how I lost my job a week ago. The caller was really rude, I answered her and she "did not like my tone." She got irate and I hung up on her, she called back and complained about my "attitude." My boss didn't want to let me go after only hanging up that one time but protocol said they had to. It sucked. :/

Yeah, office politics sucks. Been thru that, it's all about discerning agendas which tend to be more concealed to us than to the average (NT) person. I too have had those mental shutdowns when some manager tore a strip off of me, figuratively speaking, in front of others - more than once during the 2000s. However, most places including where I am now have anti-bullying policies that specifically speak to the act of berating someone publicly. Good thing progress has been made there - just think, not even 10 years ago, you either had to put up or shut up, and putting up might mean risking your job. With this one dragonlady bully manager I used to deal with several years ago, I always wanted to tell her during one of her public beratings, "Uhh, that's inappropriate. There's no need for that sort of caustic remark." or ask them point blank "Why would you say something like that??" - while this could really catch an a***ole or b**ch manager off guard, because it puts them on the spot to take responsibility for their behaviour, they might pull the "attitude problem" defense and get you back because you made them realize how bitter the taste of their own medicine is, and they tend to be more high on self-esteem than most. Or, if they got really mad at your stand-up comment, they might just yell "GET OUT!!" pointing at the door, in which case you'd probably by hearing from HR by the end of the week due to your "attitude problem".

I've been reading this thread with great interest, because I am having all these problems in my current job. The funny thing is I work at a group home for autistics. I put that I'm an Aspie on my resume and am under constant pressure to disclose to all the staff...but I see the way the staff treat our clients and experience the way my supervisors treat me and I can't see that this would do any good. I'm micromanaged, everything is under a microscope because I am "disabled." If I put out too much silverware for the lunch buffet I must have OCD as well. Disclosing was definitely a bad idea in this situation, perhaps because these folks work with autistics. Ironic tho'....

I'm not sure how long I'll be able to stick this out, but I'm doing the best I can because I really want to change how the folks are treated. When I started there was this one guy who got only a little bite of sandwich unless he picked up his plate and handed it to the staff to ask for more. This was supposed to be a "communication program." Well, if you figured it out this guy had to say "more please" about 32 times to get a sandwich. On top of that he was underweight and loosing weight. It took me about four months to entirely extinguish residues of that tradition and the resident has gained 6 pounds and is still gaining. There are other issues I am working on now, but it's very hard. Just the day in day out hammering about what I have done that upset someone else because I am "disabled." Please keep sharing these stories and ideas, because it is really helping me process how NT's think. I am amazed at the similarities, even down to the comment about "passions." I was accused of being passionate about the dishwasher, all's I want is for everyone to rinse their dishes just like every other american NT....

Thanks you all,

)Alvin

Seems most people here work in care, retail etc.. environments that is flooded with NTs. Is the problem similar in engineering departments?

If I am not respected by my boss then I would have an attitude problem. Luckily the boss that I have had so far at a real job (Walmart) was good and not mean. Now almost all the bosses above him acted like I was 12 which angered me.

With a regrettable story like this, it makes you wonder if the other staff at the group home are well versed and educated in people on the autism spectrum. Or maybe they just don't give a damn. I believe the micromanaging is just a bully tactic, they surely can't be that overly concerned with you possibly screwing up everywhere since it sounds like a job with a large component of routine work. The residents of the group home must be on a fairly regular schedule, it's not like spontaneous interactions with NT clients.

I have similar issues in my department (engineering). I am considered to be a perfectionist, have an attitude problem, and reject the sanctity of authority. I will point out and condemn mistakes of those in positions above me. But I casually remind my supervisors of the number figures that indicate my value to the company whenever things start getting tense and they back off. I've made the habit of quantifying my value in a quarterly update to them, and they seem to appreciate it. It strips the subjectivity out of the relationship.

I generally try to approach interaction with higher ups in a way that will make their job easier though. The less they have to concern themselves with, the happier they will be. If they make the correlation between you and your efforts to their job being easier, they will like you, even if you are not socially palatable, or occasionally embarrass them.

Essentially, produce results, make sure they know those results.

Thank you for responding. I think what is also difficult for me about this environment is that everybody does care and they do want to do the best. They are just so totally ignorant of what an autistic needs to be successful. They run around in circles slamming doors and setting off hand dryers without any understanding of how these noisy distractions are making me, and likely our clients as well, sort of nuts. Everything is disorganized and dirty, rodent feces are practically everywhere, visual distractions and lack of structure....everything, everything depends on listening to the person with the most office politic power at the moment in order to be successful. Some of our residents who are interestingly supposed to be severely cognitively impaired, have the staff tagged and they know what they have to do and when in order to be successful. They are a lot more socially intelligent than I am. They have been there for many years, so they have learned the personalities of the staff. I often look to the residents for social cues.

Please keep the support and feedback coming.

Thank you,

Alvin