AS causing trouble at work (Warning: possibly offensive)

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Another thing is, I feel like I'm at the beck and call of the regular receptionist to fill in for her whenever she needs to leave her desk, and I can't finish anything. She also takes a very late lunch and has to run errands in the afternoon (she comes in at 9 am, and I come in at 7:30). I'm supposed to leave at 4:30. She takes her lunch the earliest 3-4, and sometimes not unttil 3:15. Then she needs to do the mail, then sometimes someone will bring a package to her that needs to be sent UPS, so she has to go to the UPS office. Friday at 4:20 pm (10 minutes before I was supposed to leave), she left to go to the UPS office, for instance.

I'm not supposed to get overtime pay. Yet I'm supposed to be her backup. And I don't want to come across as difficult to her and make her hate me like I'm sure everyone probably does anyway, so I don't like to say "I'm leaving at 4:30, so someoe else will need to cover the desk after that time." I have said htat a couple times and felt guilty afterward.

When she was filling in as the assistant to the owner when that person quit, we had a temp receptionist that was very upset and unhappy that I was going to go to lunch around 11:30...he had expected to go from 12 to 1 and that was it. So I would have to either go from 11-12 or 1-2, which was OK, but again, I felt like I had no choice and anyone can tell me to do anything and I have to do it or be called a troublemaker.

In other words, even though I have another job to perform, I have to basically go along with whatever the receptionist says for when I need to monitor the phones. Even though my other job requires I make outgoing phone calls (can't answer phones when you're mking calls!) and be away froom my desk to do the accounting department's filing.

I've never worked as a back-up anything before, and I'm not sure how much I can assert myself without being unfair to the other person. I'm sure I offend her daily but she's too nice to say anything.

Because you've had so much things go wrong in the past socially, and you had no idea why, you've come to fear social situations. I'm exactly the same way. It is social anxiety, but that is a SYMPTOM of the problem, not the cause. All you can do is try to treat any failures as social training and get better with experience. It's tough because we don't get the non-verbal signals that everyone else assumes we do, but eventually, we learn to watch for patterns and react to them. It's a high mountain to climb, but it is possible!

I wouldn't tell anybody about the AS. They hear, "I'm mentally ret*d," not, "I don't speak the some language you do." This just underscores my (and I think every other AS will agree) problem in life is other people and their crazy, unpredictable ways of interpreting things.

Hi again Norah, K96 made a very good observation, learn, observe and get better with experience. Sometimes it'll feel like learning something new, but it's very important.


About you leaving after 4:30, honestly I don't know what to say, maybe they expect that you, being the backup, have as one of your responsabilities to leave later if needed. But you could try two things to get this clear: One, talk with your boss about this. If you are leaving one or two hours later than 4:30, then I think that's something not so balanced. Two, you could talk directly with the regular receptionist about this, to get to something fair for both of you. Does she know that you leave at 4:30?

WP people, any suggestions?

I'd say, just leave at 4.30. It's not up to you to worry about everybody else's schedules.

I would say to the receptionist that you need to get things documents/written down as to times etc., as what is going ain't working.

Just say some slight tune up, like no "covering" after 4PM and the like.

5% of the crap is 95% of the difficulty.
So pin that stuff down, and see if it is more workable.

Also, document how much time you sit there, so you can relate to YOUR boss. Idoubt they know how much time she is off. An arranged break schedule is appropriate, not whenever she wants