Three weeks in my new job and my weirdness has been noted...

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I'll have a lot to talk about with my therapist tomorrow. That is a good point, the way the "all-user" email was worded was kind of threatening in a weird sort of way, although I suppose "threatening" is not quite the right word. To be asked to disclose my AS and almost in the same sentence say (paraphrasing here), "This information may be passed along to supervisors and determinations may be made about reassignments," made me feel very nervous.

I really think it is each individual employee's choice whether or not to disclose.

I filled out the form today that discloses to my employer that I have AS. My therapist help me word it very carefully, so that it's clear that I'm not asking for more than I really need.

But over the years I have come close to losing my job multiple times because I haven't been able to navigate through situations with my coworkers that made no sense to me. So I made it clear that I need help with that specific problem, with HR to help me out.

We'll see how it goes. I still can't believe I finally did it. I'm still very aware that this could all go wrong and my employer might find a way to "shelve" me off into some meaningless routine, and eventually into unemployment.

I'm new here...partly because at nearly 50 years old, I've finally figured out what's going on. ... A lifetime of being an outsider and watching every friendship or relationship eventually dissolve for reasons I've never been able to figure out. Anyway, I'm also really tired of getting weird looks like I just said something utterly *wrong* and people I hardly know acting like I'm strange or avoiding me. I feel like I go out of my way to be nice and try to make conversation, but quirky just isn't accepted. In some places, I might go for a year before it gets noticed, but I'm in a new job myself and it's not only more techy, it also requires more social skills. The social side was never brought up in the job description or the interview. Apparently, that skill is just supposed to be in the air that you breathe so it never crossed their minds to discuss it. Lack of explicit communication is rampant in this job and I'm seriously stressing out trying to figure out what everyone is "really saying". Half sentences, forgotten emails....not due to trying to leave anyone out, but because they're just used to working with social butterflies that always "drive by" and chat and who get the information verbally.

Ah...I rant. I don't have any answers. Basically, this is just a long "me too" post.

I feel fortunate in some ways that my employer at least seems to be providing this option for employees to disclose their disabilities, but on the other hand kind of SCARED at how cutthroat many companies seem to be, and would probably do all they could not to provide this option for their workers. I'm still not even sure how this will play out with me, but thanks for the encouragement, and I'll keep you all updated on what happens next (I officially dropped the form off at Human Resources).


cecirdr ... it's because NT's take it for granted that everyone will have those social skills. We have to learn them, though, and it isn't easy. I always think of people who are even farther along the spectrum and have full-blown autism, and how they don't have the option of learning these skills as much as those of us in the middle do.

Body Language brah

that and smiling

and manners

if you honestly still get s**t after that they just playing you

It does not matter anymore; I overreacted. When I completed 45 days on the job, I was told that I will be promoted. I do not know when (although I suspect it will be when I complete my 90-days experience contract - one month and four days from today).

I still dislike the fact that my weirdness is obvious, but I should stop worrying about it. It is pretty obvious that it is not going to affect my career, even though it makes for a very sh***y social/personal life. I am working on it, though. I am going to try something in a few days, even though I am 99% sure it will not work. Most certainly due to my weirdness.