Does anybody else just not want to get a job?

Post Reply New Topic

The first part is where I'm at now. I can fit in. Most people at my jobs are surprised if they find out I have AS. I never had a meltdown at work. Not even in the Army. They kick in as soon as I'm by myself. Everything surges in.

Really solid advice about stop replaying the tape. I can block everything out while I'm in "enemy territory", but as soon as I get home, everything just pours on in. Like a movie on repeat. I'll give your advice a shot. I really appreciate it. I've talked with a lot of counselors and I can never take them seriously because they've never experienced most of what I explain to them, and they always seem so focused on trying to help fix me. I'm not broken. I like me. Ideally I'd find a realistic way to be me all the time.

They tend to cycle. I have about 10 or so major interests. Each one lasts about a week or two, then they switch to something else. I don't get many actual new interests anymore. There's usually some sort of random trigger, then I'm all about that until I do something with it. Like I taught myself electrical theory in order to build a guitar amp, then didn't so much as look at a schematic for a year and a half.

I think I would do well in a job where I controlled my schedule/pace. I've always done really well in situations where I'm in charge and/or doing projects where I make the terms and schedule.

Conchscooter, I used to take that approach also, and still things would turn south for me. I always managed to make friends and be liked at work but things never lasted and something always went wrong, same as in my non-work friendships, which I see a lot of others here have difficulties with too.

The last conventional job I ever had, I had forged what I thought were really strong friendship bonds with my co-workers, but one misunderstanding with a less close member who was best buddies with one of my closer co-workers, and flip, flip, flip, a row of dominoes started falling and even those who had liked me turned against me and the whole situation became intolerable.

I spent years of my life taking every approach in order to avoid this, and the thing is, what do you do when you're a fully self-aware person, are familiar with finding other ways of going about things psychologically with yourself and with others, and yet still find that something manages to go bad?

I wasn't a clueless kid or something -- I had ten years of that stress in job after job, finally walked out of that last one and went self employed, and was MUCH happier. Sometimes it's just best to walk away from efforting when it's other people that don't want to be more patient, and don't want to give you the benefit of the doubt even when you've explained yourself or apologized -- then it's THEIR deal. And I got out.

I know that if I managed to get a job (which is very unlikely) I'd hate it so much and be so stressed that before long I'd just say "**** it" and quit. That happened in the two jobs I had in my life. Why make myself miserable like that?

I've run into that a lot as well. Sometimes I think that going as far as I do to be where I'm at, I set the expectation that I'm not actually different. So when something happens, because nobody is perfect, people are less likely to understand that it was just a misunderstanding.

What do you do, if you don't mind me asking? I think a decent middle-ground would be self employment, if I could find something interesting enough.

for me, this is how i feel when it comes to being lazy with a work ethic, i'm not lazy to work at a job, not lazy to work if i'm given a task, a project or assignment to work on, although obviously depends on the type of project, task, assignment, but i often feel lazy to be assertive to go after what i want, to take initiative to find and get a job, i guess either i don't take rejection that well or i'm not really a fan of college education, don't like studying.