Do you fear both working and not finding work ?

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In general; no, I don't have an issue with working in general. Provided certain accomodations are met... since, yeah... I'm quite sure I wouldn't hold said job longer than 2 days, end up at home heavily depressed. But if I got an offer for a job that suited my needs and actually would keep in mind the difficulties I have with employment in general, I have no issues in giving up my spare time to earn money. The sad part of this story here is; I've been there and know very well about depression that has it's roots in inadequate support for work.

Not finding work;That thing is pretty much out of my hands for a long, long time. I gave up on that as I can't possibly imagine to walk up to a temp agency, ask if they have jobs around and present them an extensive list, signed and all, and thus official, about all the accomodations I need. I mean; I don't have any shame and will give them that list, yet on the other hand I feel it's inappropriate to give people a rundown of my mental and/or medical issues cause they're no doctors. For me the "finding work" thing has pretty much ended up at the hands of social services to find me something appropriate or at least offer me proper coaching and guidance to look for something. The issue I have with it, is that these people incompetent and I can't rely on them offering proper support. I'm on welfare for almost 4 years now and aside from a few meetings where I had to hand over some documentation I had zero support. And with the prospect of my income being cut because the government thinks people without jobs can do with less money than they do now (despite reports say, the majority on welfare is way, way below poverty level and is one of the main groups racking up debt)... that's the only thing that bothers me.

It's funny how people point out that they're contributing and have this notion of socializing and feeling useless.

Aside from some financial issues I run into monthly, I'm feeling the best I ever did. No one around me, I've got tons of stuff to do (and I'm quite sure will end up in depression when employment kicks in and I can't spend 40+ hours on my interests in one go) and contributing... to hell with that. If I have a job I do it because I need money, not because I feel I need to contribute. Yes, I'm egotistical like that. It's also why volunteering for me wouldn't work... and never has. It gives me no satisfaction at all

I can relate.
Currently, I'm on disability benefits and living at home with my parents.
I know as soon as I am well enough I'll need to find a job and move out, but my CV has many large gaps in it and my knowledge is quite specialist. I dream of working and living in Asia, though have no idea how to do this since teaching seems an impossibility to me. I loved living in Asia when I lived in Japan as my year abroad.....but it's been ages since then. I find the interviews/applications thing really tiring, but life on benefits is hard and stressful.

Yes, I can relate.

I hate having to work, if i had my iideal I would just be a full-time student for the rest of my life and never work again. Unfortunately,I am not independently wealthy, so work is a necessity of life.

I found through many failed attempts at "normal" jobs that I CAN NOT do a job souly for the money. I have worked in call centers, fast food, retail, restaurants, and as a sex worker... I quit or was fired from all of the within year. It wasn't until I found a job at a kennel cleaner at a local animal shelter thati actually stuck with a job. I've been at the shelter for over 4 years now.

I think the reason I have kept my current job so long is because the people who do that kind of work are all weird or damaged in some way... I'm serious about that. Managers who are ex-meth addicts, supervisors who are on antipsychotic meds, other co-worker with mood disorders or PTSD from war. I can't even count how many meltdowns I've had in my bosses office; all he says when my meltdown is over is "are you ready to go back to work?" I should have been fired so many times. Having a job for so long has taught me how to work, be part of a team, how to train, and how to be good at something. I am a better person and employee then I was before.

Now I am actually looking for a new job, I need something more mentally stimulating then cleaning cages. I am in the application process to be a teachers assistant at a school for autistic children, hopefully they can be a little understanding of my quarks. I don't plan on meltdowns at work... I think I've pasted that hurdle. The best part is that my current managers and co-workers are supportive and helping me with references.

I found that I need a job that means something, I need to make a difference. Sitting in a call center I am a replaceable body, there are 20 other people ready to take my place, it is meaningless. At least cleaning cages I'm making an animal's life a little better.

Try finding something you can feel good doing, but might not require experiencepor education. Feeling good about what you're doing might help you stick it out.