Interview horror stories/strange interviews

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I've had numerous interviews that lasted 5 minutes or even less. One interview lasted only one minute. The reason for this is that I was told that people write the ads for a job describing their ideal candidate, not necessarily who they will hire, and that they expect people will apply even if they don't meet every requirement. It came up in one minute that I didn't meet one of the requirements.

The weidest inteview I had was where the guy just talked about the history of the business and didn't ask me any questions about myself. He had already seen my portfolio and decided that my work was good enough and was just making sure I was the kind of person who would get along with everyone else in the office. I got the job believe it or not.

Another odd one was for a job in a shop in a mall. The interviewer took me to costa coffee and instead of ordering me a regular sized cup of tea she bought me the one the size of a bowl, so I had to politely sip the tea using both hands to lift this bowl-cup whilst answering questions. I didn't get that job.

The most recent interivew I've had the interviewer asked me to describe a css box. All I could see in my mind was an empty box, all I could think of saying was, it's a box, so I just looked at him like he was crazy. It's the most basic of basic web design elements. He meant what properties can you add to the box to make it do what you want? I get stumped at interviews sometimes. The way my mind works is I am very specific, so I think of exact answers to questions as they are worded rather than understanding that they are just introducing a topic for me to elaborate on.

I know that feeling. One job I really wanted, I had a series of interviews, and thought it was going great... until they started asking me a vague question about SQL. I was comfortable enough in it to manipulate data, and thought I'd do well. But, I just could NOT get the point that they wanted me to say Left-Outer-Join. I did NOT pick up on the hints that they wanted me to say those words. I felt really really dumb.
And, as I have rosacea or lupus, one of the two, my entire face and chest just flamed bright red and they got all alarmed.

Needless to say, I didn't get the job.

But Daria persisted....with that face, who could refuse her?

Went for a job to do with my biology degree back in england:

The guy asked if I had done anything recently and I mentioned I had gone on holiday to Greece. He asked about it.

So I said we visited some of the world's first hospitals there. I then shared the story that the guy who founded the first hospital merely put sick people in rooms and gave them hallucinogens.

His face fell at the mention of drugs and I didnt get the job.

Then went for another job in England to do with a lab that processes biological samples,
They asked what would I do if got bored on the job.
Not knowing what they were looking for I kind of panicked and said I can entertain myself. The 3 people interviewing me looked uncomfortable.
They were looking for: 'I would take a break' but I only realised this afterwards.

Please remember:

People who are job interviewers are really not too flexible.

They tend to want somebody who they believe won't quit on them at a moment's notice.

There's lots of prejudice against people who "think beyond the box."

I would really adhere, closely, to what you are being interviewed for. Research the company who is interviewing you.

Even if they ask an offhand question, don't mention drugs (the guy didn't sound too bright--he associated "drugs," no matter the historical context, with "drug addiction.") You have lots of that in the business world.

Don't be embarrassed when you don't exhibit "think beyond the box" type abilities to the interviewer; you probably won't see the person ever again in Life.

Once you get the job, and you can prove you could do the job, and are punctual in attendance, then you could slowly work your "beyond the box" abilities into the conversation.

Luckily the people I currently work for didn't even realize I'd be doing SQL and JS, so they didn't quiz me on it too closely. I am learning what I need to know as I go along.

And if they ask you to describe the box, don't look at them like they're stupid.

Ok, about the box... sometimes managers don't have time to know exactly every detail that you actually do during the day. To a certain extent, that would be micromanaging.

My weirdest interview. I applied for a receptionist job, was given three hours' notice for the interview, and then the only thing they said to me was 'You really don't want this job. You would get bored' throughout. I thought that this was perverse reverse psychology, and I went to great lengths to describe why I would be awesome.

I dressed in primary colors once for a job that I thought was for kids as a children's/teen/adult assistant job. Turns out they took the kids portion out. El awkward. For the same Interview I was asked what my fave book was and accidentally gave a small lecture on ice cream making and on Victorian home décor. I got the job by the way.

Another interview, I was delayed or interrupted by phone calls from the police because the place had been broken into. And vandalized.

Another interview, my budgie disappeared, so I was late because I cared more about my pet than the job.

Another interview, the power died, so I did some of my interview in a partly darkened room.

At another interview, I was asked by religious sisters 'What do you want to know about us?' this was for a job organizing their book collection.

At another interview, I made my employer dance the chicken dance. I got the job, by the way.

At another job, I quacked the song 'Born to Be Wild' because it was part of a picture book I was reading as part of the job description.

At a student job interview, I was asked, 'How were you chosen? You are not what we were looking for'. How should I have known how I was chosen?

I basically have had a lot of weird interviews, right? Did I make anyone laugh?

I have a few.

A few months ago I had a phone interview with a company over the phone.
The one lady liked me, though the other was doing the interviewing and was condescending.

She ask me something like "Why did you apply for this job, it isn't an IT job per say?"
I don't remember what i said.
Though it was posted as in IT job.

She then asked me something like "why haven't you had a job/internship since 2011?"
I said something like "I applied the internships and job available, but they told me I wasn't experienced enough (I have numerous projects, courses, degrees, and 3 internships under my belt). After trying I decided to go take summer classes towards my degrees."

She then said "You should be able to get an IT job easily, it is a red hot job market. You should be able to get an internship that leads to full hire!"

Me: ok... (I know what she said was outdated)

She just became more condescending from there and I just solider through.

It really sent me off for the day (it was a 9am phone interview).

----

I also had a interview in person in early October, where the interview went well until near the end.
This was also a lady interviewer.

She started to end the interview with "How do you feel about this job?"
Me "I think I'd be a good fit for it!"

She "Can you hit the ground running?"
Me "For the most part, though it will take me a few days or so to adjust to the software you use."

She "Impressive..."
Me "Thank you"

She "Will you need training or an adjustment phase upon hiring?"
Me "Well a few days due to it being a new job and to get used to working here."

She "Well we really like you but we just starting the interviewing process and you are one of the first people."
Me "That's good"

She "We are looking for the perfect candidate, who can get up to speed on the first day, without training and fit right in!"
Me "Ok"

She "Would you be open for contract work with us?"
Me "Yes, I would."

She "Thank you for taking the time to interview with me today."
Me "Thank you for the interview"

She "We not sure when we will get back to you, since we are holding out for the perfect candidate."
Me "Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you."

Followed by an awkward walk back to the elevator as she asked me about my website.

This was for an e-learning developer position, which she saw my resume and hit me up.

I haven't heard back yet.

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My GM IT was a mixed bag...
The PH.D guy was very understanding and had a similar experience with getting internships in this environment.
The other guy wasn't very understanding and was perplexed by by anxiety and awkwardness.
They both told me that training was minimum and I'd be expected to hit the ground running, if I was hired.
After all that I had to formally apply on the GM website for one of the positions (All recruits are required to do this even after the interview)

It didn't help they asked me "where would you be willing to relocated to?".
I said it would depend on the job, which is true since I don't have preference.

I've known other people who've applied for entry level positions and it can take a few months for it run its course.

---

My Thursday interview was something.

The head of IT at the company I was interviewing at, wanting a recent college graduate with enterprise software experience. This is near impossible while in college and while doing internships. Still nerved up over it and am waiting to hear back sometime this week or next (I was one of the first to be interviewed)
He was also stoic/dead pan and I couldn't tell anything from him.
I miss interpreted a few of the questions because he didn't make himself clear enough and I was nervous.

Both recruiters liked me and the main recruiter said I did better than most people at phone interviews with her.
I applied for a different job at the company and they hit me up two weeks ago for this position.

For now I am an unemployed college graduate (graduated in July)..