Making gay friends on the job...

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I knew some of my co-workers were gay 30 years ago and didn't think it was an issue.

There was a gay guy at one of my jobs for a short time who kept hitting on me & other guys. He also paged specially for me to clean up messes around his isle & he'd hit on me while I did it. For the most part I have no problem with gay guys & fully support gay rites but constantly being hit on by one makes me uncomfortable.

That would make pretty much anyone uncomfortable, myself included.. and especially if he wasn't my type at all. I'd have made it very clear to him that I wasn't interested and his advances weren't welcome. Then if he persisted in any sort of way that was inappropriate for the workplace, as a last resort I'd report his behaviour to management with an expectation that he be talked to about it & it stops.

Well that is how I learned, I was open minded enough to befriend someone who was homosexual and it certainly changed my perspective I realized that is just how some people are and it doesn't make anyone more or less.

Racoons are freaking awesome...lol would not want one as a pet as I am sure it would constantly collect my keys to hide, and I have enough trouble as is tracking down my things when I go out. but outside of that from what I have heard they can make nice pets. I imagine they can even be trained to use a litter box.

But also based on a lot of youtube videos much of the time cats and racoons co-exist rather well, like cats may get irritated about the raccoon stealing their food but much of the time it doesn't even phase cats if a raccoon is around.

I can understand homophobia, I think. When I was at school, as a teenager, I didn't know anything about homosexuality, but I heard "lesbian" and "lezzy" being used as an insult. So I had this awareness of lesbianism as something wrong and degrading, before I had any real understanding of it.

This skewed idea remained with me for a while, so that in my twenties the idea of homosexuality still made me feel a little uncomfortable. I didn't understand it much, probably because I'd never had any openly gay friends.

Nowadays there's a lot more openness about homosexuality and I think that's why I no longer have any problem with it. But I can understand that there might be people out there who've been more deeply inculcated with homophobic ideas - perhaps so much that they've actively avoided the contact with gay culture which could have enlightened them.

But I'm confused over whether the OP is serious or just trolling, because their profile is male but the picture is so very female, so I kind of assumed...

I think this is a valid question after having looked at past posts as well. It doesn't seem to so much be based on hate as much as confusion as to if there are unexpected rules around a social experience that is different from other day to day social experiences. As someone who does much better when I know the rules vs when I do I can relate to this even if I am not personally afraid of speaking to gay people since I've been in and out of a few LGBTQ+ closets, and definitely my share of gay bars myself.

If the OP is anything like I am this is probably too broad of advice. (I am not saying for sure that they are). I think it's great advice though so I'd like to build on this!.

I would say this ties into other advice that people in this thread have given. It would be best to treat the other person, or really any other person at work, as if they were not attracted to you. If they do not do or say anything that makes you believe that they are attracted to you then use this as confirmation of your behavior and keep going. If they do say or do anything that makes you believe that they are attracted to you then you have a couple of options. If by that point you have other co-workers that you trust and who know that your mind works differently, it might help to see if they think that he or she thinks that they are behaving as if they are attracted to you. If they confirm that the person seems interested or if you don't have someone to get feedback from then I'd suggest asking them and letting them know in simple logical language that either way you do not feel that way but that you value your friendship with that person (assuming that you do).

If at any point someone who is a man or a woman of any sexual orientation someone says or does something inappropriate for the workplace, I'd recommend talking to your boss or HR about it if your company has an HR department/person.

If for any reason part of your concern is that you may return the feelings of a person with a sexuality that doesn't match yours I would still recommend not exploring your first queer relationship at work. You'd be much better suited trying to find a local LGBTQ+ support group.



This is the kind of example of inappropriate behavior. This is not "gay" behavior at all... At work, it's sexual harassment and should be taken very seriously. With everything going on in the world the way it is right now it's just not the time to stay quiet about this kind of behavior. Speak up, let them know it makes you feel uncomfortable and report it to the company if it continues.

I think for guys this might be a little more difficult to report this kind of thing because it may seem like being the "victim" of sexual harassment is emasculating. The truth is reporting this kind of thing is important to protect the business and is a matter of correcting unprofessional conduct at work. If you caught someone stealing from the company, I'd like to assume that you'd report it to your boss or HR. This is similar in that it's a serious behavioral issue that can hurt the company in the long run and should be treated as such.

I hope this helps. I've never really posted in this section before but business is a special interest of mine so I kinda couldn't help myself.