I Just Want To Avoid Stress...

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Such as?

One little narrow road I used to go along used to regularly flood about a foot deep. Was a single track road and in this depression between two rises the water had no where to go. I went this way as a change from the main roads when I came home from work. I used to have a Volvo 360GLT and as long as I did not splash the water too much as the rotor arm was right at the front of the engine due to the engine really being jam packed in the car for its size (Such a large engine to fit under the bonnet that even the gearbox was at the back of the car). Anyway. The car went through it on many occasions with no problems. Then one day I came back and my car stalled in the water. I had forgotton that I changed the car to a littlw low slung Volvo 480ES. (The 360's were a much better car in my oppinion). Water had gone up the exhaust and I had not given the car enough revvs. I opened the door and heard something fall in the water. Could not see anything. I pushed the little Volvo out the flood, and jacked the front of the car up and pressed down on the exhaust using long blue paper towels we had on the railway to hope to get some water out. Managed to start the car but it spluttered the 5 or so miles home. Then I realized what went splash. My carriage key. It was dark by then. My Mum came back with me. My Mum took two big torches. I took my metal detector with the big heavy earphones, and... Well. The number of old metal car hubcaps in that water? Anyway. We had just found the carriage key when we looked to find the local homewatch group spying on us puzzling why I was standing in the middle of a flooded road with a metal detector and my Mum was also standing in the flood almost up to her skirt holding two big torches... It was embarissing!

All jobs involve stress

Even if a job is low stress, it's still an "at will" employer and you could get made redundant for any reason or no reason. Just not discrimination or American Disability Act violation or what the flying f**k ever s**t

Some jobs are more stressful than others

Customer service, long hours, working in the snow, dirty work, dangerous job, lift heavy boxes, angry boss. Whatever

But the job could be low stress that day. The next day a new boss could come and the job is worse suddenly



Government benefits
Panhandling
Stock market
Tenants
Invest in real estate
Marry someone rich
Gambling
Live in the wild
Monastery

I wish I had good advice for you, but my own life experience is limited so I'm not sure what I would do in you're situation.

My main coping mechanism for when my stress builds up is my dog. Which is clear to me now more than ever since I have been away from my dog for several months. Perhaps maybe you could find a way to de-stress on the job? Ask for some time on the job to destress? Other than that the only advice I can give (which is not very good) is to get a good handle on how much stress you can take each day and how long you can work each day sustainably (meaning that your condition doesn't worsen). Then try to make your employer understand that you can only work that many hours a day/week.

Well MG, hang in there, I sincerely hope things work out for you. Best of luck.

A random thought that occurred to me last night (before I got distracted by the Interview thread ):

Have you ever tried delivery driving?
Long hours and short money, but if driving about is your relaxation and calming thing it might suit you... just a thought.

That is an excellent suggestion!! What do you think MG? No dealing with people putting you into overload, driving (you don't mind long distances and it does relax you.) You can think your own thoughts and dreams, less cramming different tasks into a short timeline.

Delivery driver is the very job I want to avoid. It was my thought that I can do it... I used to be a postman and it was the toughest job I ever did.

But delivery driver. Here are the reasons why it would be risky for me. I would most likely need to deliever into towns and cities. Town and city traffic stresses me. It is driving in the countryside that de-stresses me.
The other reason why I want to avoid it (And this is a big one for me) is that if I started getting issues of stress while driving my mind would associate the driving with stress, so I may not be able to drive.
The secons issue is that if the driving starts to stress me out and I end up fully shutting down it is bye bye licence. (I have only ever had partial shutdowns while driving and fortunately I can still drive safely until I can find a place to pull in to recover).
Now a driving licence and driving are important to me as we have two miles either direction to the nearest bus stop. This involves a steep hill in the one direction that is most likely to have a bus. If I can't drive, and as my Mother does not drive, we would be stuck. We have had times with no car due to costs and it costs us more, as one taxi trip a week costs more then me driving, and that is with us walking down to the shop and having a taxi to take us back. And the local shops are not as cheap as the town shops further away, so it is more expensive. I am not sure my Mum can still walk doen the hill. If I ave had a burnout and am in a fragile state, I could not walk much either.

So while in one way a driving job would suit me, in another way I want to avoid the situation where my mind would associate stress with driving, as I rely on having a car to be able to function and de-stress etc.

How about working in the sorting office at the post office and not delivering mail? Would that be stressful?
Do you you have a date for your autism assessment yet MG?

Long distance is ok as long as I stay in Wales and avoid the cities and large towns. I also rarely ever park anywhere where I could get a fine and I am nurvous of carparks I am not used to, as one only gets so much time with parking. My fear is that if I shut down, and I will be delayed, my car will go over the limit and I will get a fine. Fines are fine if one has a good income, but if one does not, then it can be the difference between life of death.
Cities and towns these days have hardly anywhere to park now they have introduced residence only parking about ten years ago. Onr local town was dead against it and even the residence did not want it, as people parked near their houses when they were out at work,and when they came back they had enough space, so they did not see why they were needed. They said the issues they had were at night because the residence themselves had more cars (Collectively) then the streets would hold!

Did think after posting that you might have those concerns: fair enough.

(I was going to offer to ask one of my wife’s friends who’s been doing that for the last three months any questions you might have. He’s coming round for dinner tonight, it was when my wife told me that I had the thought: his round is all rural little lanes etc which was what I was focused on in the thought. )

(Offers open if you want: a PM before 6pm our time and I’ll do what I can in that regard)

I used to do sorting. One has to sort very fast. Ones mind is trying to get ones hands to move fast and accurately. Reading quickly and moving quickly isn't easy, as my mind does not work fast. I was always the slow one at sorting. We would start at 0600am, and I was sometimes still sorting at 10am, while other postment were half way through their round. (Other postmen only took an hour to sort their mail). I then had the round to do and if I skipped all breaks apart from one quick 20 to 25 minute break for a single meal a day, I could finish by 6pm or 8pm if I had to do the collections. I was getting thinner and thinner! Was in my early to mid 20's in those days.
I remember that I used to be soo nurvous with that job that for some reason every morning, an hour into the sorting I used to quietly pass wind. But this had such a smell that all the other postmen had to go outside. It was soo embarissing.
Oh... And we had an elderly postmaster and his wife in charge of the post office and the sorting side of things. He was in his 90's and his wife was in her 80's. He was supposed to be strict and I had been warned that he was, but it was funny as when he tried to tell me off, his wife would jump in and say "Had a hard day? Have a biccy!" and she would pass me a nice biscuit. She would do this to her favourite postman and I had taken this place, much to the jelousy of the postman who had the position as her favourite and was missing his biccy!
But every morning, the elderly postmaster would come through the door in the main sorting room, and slowly walk across the room, which used to take him almost half an hour to do, and he would almost get to the other side of the room when "Pwooor, ***** (My name), you have done it again!" and try to go back as fast as he could to get some fresh air, which used to take him a full five minutes or more to escape! I was soo embarissed that I had done that... Yet I was soo stressed with full on anxiety that every morning at anhour into the shift it happened.
And then we had another new postman and he was doing the same an hour into the shift. I didn't do it like that on other jobs. No idea why it happened with that job.

Years ago when I had the next job after being a postman which was head of a bicycle department, we had deliveries and the delivery drivers were saying that if I ever wanted a job to let them know. I don't think I could do it today. The hours I can work today... Well. The last job I was working 16 hours a week which was either 4 days a week or 3 days a week with 4 or 5 and 6 hour per day shifts, and with nearly every other day off, and I found I hit burnout doing these shifts. (Was all temporary work which was summer ir Christmas work, and the gaps of no work inbetween I really needed, but were not actually long enough to recover from the last burnout. The inbetween gaps I had no income as I could not face signing on to look for work. I live in the UK, and have had whole years without an income so I can recover. In those days I did not know they were called shutdowns and burnout. I just knew I could not carry on inwork so I would keep handing in my notice etc).
Three jobs previously (Same company but a different store), they put my 12 hours a week shift into 2 hours a day six days a week as they realized I was productive for the first two hours and then I hit issues (They did not know why I needed to lie on the workshop floor etc, but they must have seen me through the cameras and assumed I was having an unofficial break)). The problem was, tat the cost of commuting was the same as I was getting in pay, so for the months I was doing this, I was getting no income but still getting stress.

No date yet. It is still too early yet. I was told I was about half way down their list.