Bullied at work specifically because of ASD

Post Reply New Topic

I worked at a restaurant and the executive chef knew and was ok with it and was kind to me. However somehow other people found out too and all of a sudden every time I came near them they would start.talking about autistic people and people with any mental health issues being "ret*ds."among other things. It didn't stop after one time day in and day out they just kept going with it. I started getting really depressed and I felt.like I couldn't say anything. Ended up attempting suicide and ended up in the hospital. After that I couldn't face them anymore. So I quit.

I don't understand why they did that. I never did anything mean to them. I just focused on my work.

^One reason would be that they don't really understand us. Another is that...well...that's just how people are. They're close-minded, intolerant, selfish scumbags.

No, I'm not saying everyone's like that, but a lot of them tend to be that way.

OMG that's awful, I'm sorry that happened but happy you survived and quit that job.

I've had that happen- people going on and on about something they don't like about me and never letting it rest. I think a certain type of person just likes hurting others.

I read that even psychiatrists now think that some people are just born like that- they enjoy hurting others, have no empathy or sympathy and there's no way to stop them.

Psychiatrists used to think this was caused by difficult childhoods or trauma or other horrible events happening to them, but now they are realising that people who never had anything bad happen to them can just be cruel for no reason.

I always remind myself: humans are the top predators in the food chain on Earth. Therefore they will prey on us if we seem weak in any way.

I get easily distracted at work where I often find myself away from my task looking for something or talking to someone. But despite that I still get the work done efficiently that's required of me, so that's why I'm well-liked and respected at work. There is bitchy behaviour going on at work but I'm not really involved (although I know most of what's going on).

I just caught my current supervisor trying to guilt trip and gaslight me because I didn't like the interactions with a delivery man in which he was very rude and seemed angry-aggressive.

When I went to tell our operations coordinator, he went back to my supervisor who openly

1. Guilt tripped and me in a mocking tone - "So you went to go tattle to the operations coordinator didn't you?" I told him that I was always taught that when I work in a customer service position I should always talk to someone

2. He also attempted to gaslight me by saying that he was "Concerned" that I was making up too many perceptions of people who come outside of the office.

However, he had a good conversation, but I don't fully trust him.

Kitty hugs for Winter Gate.

As for the customers, here are some examples:

-Sometimes when I would catch myself messing up, I would begin over-apologizing/over-explaining myself to the customer.

-I would get super stressed out in customer scenarios I was unprepared for (as I was new to the job).

-I pet a customer's dog without asking (I wasn't aware there was anything wrong with that).

-There was a kid (probably 5 years old) playing with the door. I put my hand on the kid's forearm and gently guided him away from the door. This took place when my head boss wasn't there. My head boss found out from the shift lead. When the head boss scolded me for this incident, he made it sound like I was touching the kid inappropriately (like I was a kiddie fiddler). That really made my blood boil. Then the head boss told me I should have told the parent (and let the parent deal with it). Here's the problem though: The parent was super stoned (to the point of not even being aware of where they were). There was no way I could have reasoned with the parent. That's why it never even occurred to me to say something to the parent. And of course the shift lead conveniently left out the part about the stoned parent when ratting me out to the head boss.

-There was this couple that would frequently come in and run up a triple digit bill. One time when they came for a smaller purchase, I joked that this was a light purchase for them (I thought I was being funny. My boss said it could come across like I was complaining they weren't buying enough).

On that last point, how stupid of my boss. Does anyone really think a part-time minimum wage employee cares how much a customer spends?



To avoid potentially identifying myself, all I will say is: There were many instances where my shift lead would give me directions on how to do a task. Even after hearing the directions, I would be lost. So then I would have no idea what I was doing. It reached the point where the shift lead thought I was purposely messing up to get a rise out of everyone.

I didn't work with the head boss a whole lot. A lot of the head boss's complaints toward me were based on what he heard from my shift lead.

My mom said if the shift lead's directions were sufficient for everyone else, she suspected the shift lead's directions were probably interspersed with some non-verbal social cues that I failed to pick up on.

I can relate to the part of really throwing myself into the job (my current job is a much better fit for me than the past job this thread is about). I throw myself into my current job.

A lot of people on the spectrum are able to laser focus on one thing. I think this explains why a lot of us throw ourselves into the job.

Then, supposedly, people on the spectrum tend to be rigid about following rules. I'm militant about following the code of conduct at my current job (Because I already have one strike against me, being on the spectrum, even if my current job doesn't know I'm on the spectrum. The last thing I want is to give my bosses another strike against me). A lot of employees where I currently work, however, break all sorts of rules. They have all sorts of excuses for the rule-breaking. Such as:

"It's a stupid rule."

"In this instance, it's ok to break the rule. Because reasons."

"I've gotten away with it before. And I've seen other employees get away with it."

I have a reputation (among my colleagues) of being the employee who really throws himself into the job (and is super anal about the code of conduct). Oh well. I'm there to please my bosses; not to please my colleagues.

As my username suggests, I'm also super thin. While I don't have any known health reasons for being this thin, I don't necessarily WANT to be this thin.

I hate it when people act jealous of how thin I am. I would love to be bigger.

Discrimination indeed (The past job forcing me to admit I'm on the spectrum and then eventually denying me a promotion because of it). I know why my boss never came out and admitted my status (being on the spectrum) was why he denied me a promotion. Because then he would open himself up to civil suits.

Then on the general topic of being resented by coworkers/bosses because you work hard, it just dawned on me:

For any hard workers on here whose job knows you're on the spectrum, they probably don't like being outdone by someone on the spectrum (Because, as wrong as the stereotype is, they likely think people on the spectrum are supposed to be stupid).

I've been turned down for promotion in the past and also been blocked from recruitment (I've been 2nd choice in too many times to count).

Sometimes as an employee or job applicant, there are small little deficits that might be enough to be a road block.

It also depends on the job sector you work in. I currently work in the higher education sector where paper qualification and having good people/communication skills are paramount.

Without knowing the OPs work sector, in professional positions promotions will mean having to either work with new stakeholders OR manage people. Without knowing the OP, what I can say is having even minimal awkward social interactions will be a problem if you hope to manage staff, oversea clients or engage with external stakeholders or get new business.

Identifying your specific roadblocks and working to improve them is the most constructive way to address getting promoted. Simply blaming ASD for being discriminated against is a "no win" situation, especially in the private sector where employers have more reason to be selective/discerning over appointing the best people. In government you also get these roadblocks. Even if there is discrimination I am not aware of a single case where a client has won because the boss discriminated on the basis of their specific mental health issue. Employers get to positions of management they usually have a water-tight protections against litigation over work place discrimination.

Not to say you don't have a case. But the general mantra, is if reach a road block and there is no way to get around then look for an alternate path/job.

My OP was about a past job. I don't work there anymore.

The promotion would have been a shift lead position at a store. Nothing high profile.

Ironically, at a subsequent job (which I'm also no longer at), I ended up becoming a shift lead.

Excellent! Perseverance paid off. This is what NTs do all the time. If you can't "fit in" to be recognised by employers then you are perfectly in the right to drop them and look for alternate position. Glad to hear it worked out.

I could be promoted to be a supervisor at work but, like I get told here about being a mod, I'd be too sensitive to be in a position of power, even if it is just a supervisor. Jeez, I never knew RSD could be so disabling.

Not easy supervising other people. The biggest hurdles are where there is a big age gap (hormonal 20 somethings) and secondly when you have ambitious staff who think they can do your job