Why does "quiet" equate to "ready to snap&quo

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Lecks
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13 May 2009, 12:16 am

I've found that, when people already think you're a ticking bomb, a long stare right in their eyes will permanently get them off your back (or chair ).

Johnklok
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17 May 2009, 7:35 am

Some kid at my work would "joke" with me by doing fake karate moves (I guess they were fake), and I know he thinks I'm weird and s**t, and I yell at him when makes mistakes, because I'm his boss. However I think he took some things I said too personally, and maybe he was trying to get me to be mad at him. Then again some people do say I take somethings too personally, despite that I do know for a fact people are manipulable in the least if manipulative, me being one who is less vunerable then I used to be but still I can still be in positions to be subjectified (if not to humor themselves, obviously for personal gain or just lashing out). Anyways I had to tell the store director to see if he would take him seriously if not me. I can't tell for the most part if he's really kidding or not, because people mess w/me too much sometimes. He could could've actually been enticing my anger to make me mess up at work or do something bad to him to be in trouble =\. Even if I did loosen up some, I would still be subjectively adgitated. People said the same things about me wanting to shoot up the school, and being as frustrated as I was of I would never do such a thing but to me it makes a statement about our culture. Not to say these things could never be wholly resolved, though the task is a collective effort.

Point being all people should realize there are commitments involved in understanding each other, themselves, environment, and the situation.

Space
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18 May 2009, 1:35 am

drowbot0181 wrote:

At work yesterday, a co-worker told another co-worker that if he came to close to me, he was afraid I was punch him. I assume this is because I am always so quiet and keep to myself.
People would make similar statements about me (or to me) in high school. They would say I would be the one to snap and shoot up the school. I've never been a fight before and I am not a violent person by any measure. These allegations were made even more absurd by the fact that the person who DID try to shoot up the school was one of the popular "jocks".
I just don't understand this and I am troubled by it.

That's high school, most people won't think that in the adult world.

Greensmith
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20 May 2009, 1:45 pm

Quote:

The one that I've always gotten is "smile, it's not so bad." This is typically said by a stranger, when I'm just minding my own business...

My god. If a stranger said that to me, I'd probably tell them I had just been diagnosed with Marburg so yes, it really is that bad.
But maybe that would be considered anti-social behaviour...

Moonbean
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22 May 2009, 7:47 pm

I have the perma frown. I hate eye contact. I don't like people to touch me. I constantly get the "why are you so quiet?" BS. Yet, when I'm dealing with people one on one I am very friendly. Still, people label me as rude or antisocial, or want to know, "what's wrong" with me? There's nothing wrong with me except stupid f*cking office people trying to figure me out. I would even attend their stupid get togethers if they didn't intentionally not invite me to them. Yet, despite all of this, my doctor and my mother still insist I do not have Asperger's. Even though it is rampant in my family.

People think that because I perform on stage that means I'm social, and therefore don't have Asperger's. And people who don't know about the AS think that because I perform on stage I should be able to have the exact same personality I have at work as I do when I'm on stage. This is completely ridiculous! And it is a conclusion drawn by people who have no idea what they are talking about. Those people in the audience just sit there (most of the time). I don't have to make direct eye contact with them, and they're not supposed to respond. I just get to say whatever I want and walk away. Not to mention most people who perform on stage have to create a different personality to be able to do it. If I have to work so hard at work that I have to create a completely different character and be in it for 8 hours, then I need an effing raise.

ww
Snowy Owl

Joined: 25 Jun 2009
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09 Jul 2009, 12:21 am

drowbot0181 wrote:

irishwhistle wrote:

drowbot0181 wrote:

It makes as much sense as "don't get too close, he'll turn you into cheese!"

:LOL: I would think that someone disinterested in human relations would consider violence toward humans as being a step backward.

But I dunno why people would react that way to you. For my part, I not only have a perma-frown, but have been avoiding all eye contact. To explain the first, my personal genes have gifted me with the family mouth. When at rest, it frowns. Those doofuses who tell me it takes more muscles to frown than to smile are idiots on so many levels. First off, it takes ME no muscles to frown. Second, for those who do have the gift of an actual neutral expression, I'm pretty sure there are no more muscles tugging the mouth down than up, gravity being what it is. And no amount of muscles will pull those corners up if I don't feel like smiling.

what about when people fire you just because they don't like your facial expression? Yes, it's happened. How is anyone realistically supposed to work, get a house, and live with this nonsense? I have heard employees asked 'what's wrong' when they sit there expressionless. I ASKED my supervisor if I could go in the other quiet room as the office was so loud, and she said ' you'll get used to it'. You'll get used to it. How's that for compassion? Fired shortly after, what a surprise.

But why they would consider you violent... I can only reckon it out factoring in the violence in society, or in these people individually. Experience is telling them that a certain type of person tends to become violent, whatever that experience may be. And like so many simpletons, they follow their childish whims instead of intelligently investigating for themselves. This is all mob behavior, sheep's thinking, the failure to ask questions, or to ask the right questions.

In brief: they're stupid.

My expression also tends to be neutral or even "frowny". People used to always ask me "what's wrong?" and I was always confused by it.
As far as their jumping to stupid conclusions, maybe they are stuck on that ridiculous half-saying, "It's always the quiet ones...".

ww
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09 Jul 2009, 5:49 pm

bringram wrote:

I second basically everything in this thread. When I'm tired-and/or in my own head- I have a tendency to look really ticked off. I have been told that my body language- while natural to me- sometimes looks threatening to others. Most of the time it leads to people asking me what I'm upset about, which upsets me. Sometimes it comes in handy. I almost never get approached by salesmen at stores. They come up to me, to greet me, but when they get close enough for eye contact they get spooked away.
The best job I ever had was working in a call center. I had a reputation as a brooding, but smart, technician who was great with tech support customers. The customers couldn't see my body language, so it didn't matter. My co-workers knew not to be bothered by it and it was okay to come and ask for my expertise. But, I worked their for about a year. In the beginning I got alot of email mail and IM messages or phone calls from ten feet away. Finally they realized I don't bite and they could come up to my desk and talk to me, as long as I wasn't with a customer.
I wouldn't be troubled by it, unless it provents you from doing something or gets you fired or something. People keep telling me I need to see a therapist to work on body language. I don't feel the need to, but if it stopped me from getting a job that would be a problem.

Ha! That's pretty funny. Thanks for that perspective. Mine occurs this way also, although more often than not, I get idiot men FOLLOWING me in their work vans, whistling and yelling 'hey sweetie' how ya doin' etc. while they are on work time! when I am walking on the street! Talk about losing your job! I told them I would report them to their company , whose name was on the side of their truck.. then I started reciting the number and of course they took off. Jerks.

Cynic
Blue Jay

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13 Jul 2009, 8:39 pm

zer0netgain wrote:

The man who talks a lot of smack about doing something violent tends to NOT be the one who will actually do it.

Not without backup anyway.

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