I´ve worked in fast food, as a stock boy, a marine, and a technician. I hated all those occupations but currently hate my current job as a technician the most. The other jobs I was at least aloud to interact with co-workers which really helps in lifting depression, even if they don´t really care about me.
At my current job I spend all my time in the corner of a building working as a repair tech for fixing returned devices used in MRIs. Troubleshooting is not something that bothers me, it´s something I do all the time when creating electronics as a hobby, but everything else about my job does. I´ve been in this corner, which is purposely separated from the more populated areas of the company so any visitors that take a tour don´t see the failed products, by myself for a year. They recently brought someone else from manufacturing into my department to also work as a repair tech but out of all the people that applied for the position they selected the most quiet guy that applied. He doesn´t hold conversations and I definitely don´t have the energy to keep a conversation going by myself. It´s like the managers don´t want any conversations at all and expect us to behave as automatons. This expectation applies to the entire company, people are way too serious here. Believe it or not, being in the marines was (usually) more laid back.
Other people that I talk to on occasion there only seem to talk to me when I approach them, they almost never approach me. I know that they could care less if something happened to me. Communicating in general is frowned upon at this company so I´m sure that´s part of the problem.
And then there´s the environment. Bright cool-white fluorescent lighting everywhere. If it was warmer it would be better but this cool-white seems to drain the color out of everything in some subtle way I can´t articulate. Then again, most of the environment consists of various shades of gray and lots of right angle geometry. I´m not a big fan of uncreative symmetry. Of course, I´m the only one that notices. They recently installed this same kind of lighting on our workbenches and they wonder why I never use mine. There are no windows where I´m at, only artificial lighting. The entire company is very open, only a few walls so I´m always exposed, I can never really relax. Constant sounds from exhaust fans and HVAC systems are always present but don´t seem to bother me that much. Listening to head phones while working is not aloud because it doesn´t look ¨professional¨. That does bother me. I hate arbitrary little rules like that. The company is very political and sucks up to high individuals in large companies and government all the time. The Ohio governor has visited twice since I start working there. Lots of cameras and people. Sometimes we have to take group photos with these higher-ups.
They recently recruited me into an engineering project. This means lots of meetings and, therefore, anxiety attacks. Sometimes they want me to meet people representing outside resources for this project. I´ve not shown any interest in this project since the first meeting since the project seems to equate to anxiety. All the engineers seem to be very outgoing and sociable, this is not what I expected. I´m considering changing careers, maybe something art related since I love creating in general.