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Fidget
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29 Jun 2010, 6:58 am

I'm 20 years old, I don't have a job, I still live with my mom. I go to a community college and struggle to keep good grades. I've only had one job in my life and it only lasted for a couple of months until I got fired. And I haven't been able to get one since. I feel like no one's ever taught me how the world works, and now it's too late. I'm not good at anything (except theatre, but that won't get me anywhere), I have pretty much no experience, and I live in a suburb of Chicago and I never learned to drive. I'm stuck. All I want to do is get a job, learn to drive, and move out. It's all I've wanted since I graduated High School and I've made pretty much no progress. I don't care if I live in some god-awful apartment, I just don't want to continue living with my mom until I die. :(



leejosepho
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29 Jun 2010, 7:06 am

Take a look here and maybe you can find a place you like:

http://directory.ic.org/iclist/community_type.php


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blastoff
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29 Jun 2010, 7:36 am

Your life is not over. It is not too late. Lots of young adults, AS or not, still live with a parent. There are lots of reasons. It is not the end of the world.

I was still living at home when I was 25. I flunked out of three colleges. I was unemployable. It was awful. But I got through it, and I have to say that I turned out ok.



Zsazsa
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29 Jun 2010, 8:32 am

blastoff wrote:
Your life is not over. It is not too late. Lots of young adults, AS or not, still live with a parent. There are lots of reasons. It is not the end of the world.



In these tough economic times with so many people unemployed and unable to find employment, many people are moving in with family to make their lives easier. The grass always looks greener on the other side than it really is...so, don't despair. Instead, look more closely and see what does exist in your area that you could possibly do...prehaps volunteer work as one idea. Volunteer work gets you out of the house, keeps you busy during the day and looks good on a job application...it shows you did something useful with your time. Offer to help someone who has some work that needs doing.

Take up some hobbies, learn a new skill, plant a vegetable or flower garden, sit outdoors in the sunshine and read a book...

Life is a journey not a destination...learn to enjoy the ride.



auntblabby
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29 Jun 2010, 9:08 am

take small, measured steps. but take steps.



eagletalon86
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29 Jun 2010, 9:22 am

Been through the struggle myself, trust me when I say you're not alone...however, you will need to take the first step and apply yourself. No, it's not easy if you have a social deficit, but you still have to try.

Driving I feared for the longest time, but once you learn that 1/2 people on the road drive like idiots to boot it's not so bad. Just the same, 1/2 the people at my job are slobs, so if you can do what you're told without much error and prove yourself trustworthy you'll have little trouble keeping a job too (assuming the economy improves...if it doesn't, you can just point the finger at that like everyone else).



deunan
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29 Jun 2010, 1:20 pm

Dont be too hard on yourself sweetie. stay positive.
You MUST forget about measuring yourself against what other people do, and focus on what you CAN do.
Success is an endless cycle of
1. aspire
2. try hard
3. get frustrated
4.rest/reflect
5. repeat step 1!
always get back up again. you may fall alot. and you will always get back up.
get up! try again!
try it different.
JUST KEEP TRYING

you will do it.


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Fidget
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30 Jun 2010, 11:39 pm

Thanks guys.



kwilky
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01 Jul 2010, 3:19 am

You're better off than I am. I'm 22, never worked before, didn't finish high school. I'm pretty much f****d. You're at least going to college and have been employed once before. I think you'll be fine.



CockneyRebel
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02 Jul 2010, 1:24 pm

When you get to the end of your rope, hang in there. :)


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Koerner
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25 Jul 2010, 1:34 pm

I am 26 years old, I live with a mother and father who are both unemployed. My father was a day laborer for most of his life, now at 58 years old in a recession economy and lack of a license (due to DUI charges) he cannot find a job. He's been on unemployment for so long that he is denied further benefits. My mother while educated to the point where she at least got an A.A. degree way back when is also unemployed (however she basically is an over the phone salesperson for Shacklee) and went the better part of 48 years of her life without being diagnosed for mental health issues and now she has been assessed for schizophrenia. She currently believes she is employed in a job that will eventually buy her a home and get her out of the trailer park we currently live in, but my opinion is that she is involved in a pyramid scheme and her delusions will only hurt the rest of her family.

I work at a group home for the developmentally disabled, struggle with trying to find a job that actually has having a bachelor's degree as a prerequisite and make enough to pay my bills but not enough to be able to help with rent, food or other costs of living for my family. I also have student loans to pay off, a car that wobbles when I get it moving above 60mph (which on most roads I shouldn't be) and a cell phone bill to pay off. My situation saddens me to the point where my friends and even extended family say I should cut my ties with my parents, move in somewhere else and try to start building a better life then.

I told that story so I could offer some perspective on your dilemma, at 20 years of age you still have many options. If you want to get out of your house to get away from your family then your going to have to deal with some serious consequences. I am by nature a practical and pessimistic person, and I could list many of the issues you will have when you try to become independent as well as having a job you like but the others are right. I have to remind myself frequently that I still have many options even at 26 years of age because I start to hyperventilate but it can be done.

Education is one thing to work on, if your just looking at education to find a better job look at job skills training programs near you. With this many dislocated workers in the states and world I am sure there is some sort of nonprofit programs near you to help them that would probably be willing to help you. Federal pell grants for college are also an option, they contribute a significant amount of funds to people that can't afford to go to school on their own but require certain info from family too so there's a rub, also if you go that route they will only cover up to a bachelor's level education so be wary of career ideas young electricians.

Housing varies from place to place, in MN we have what's called section 8 housing, it takes a long time to get to the top of the list but with a minimum wage job it is a necessity. While you wait though you can form the various lists of tasks you will need to do for yourself. Start writing lists of all the things you would need to do to clean an apartment, then a car, perhaps a pet and most importantly yourself. With independence also comes bills, start writing yourself a budget to live by and include a portion of that to go to savings, you never know when some crazy water damage or insect infestation could happen, let alone a drunk driver hitting your car.

Even if you do a minimum wage job you hate, you need to find something your proud of, personally I would never share what I am proud of with anyone but what you are proud of is going to be more important than a sh***y living situation and a grim career outlook. I've seen people content working at fast food restaurants most of their lives, including the mayor of at least one city. A job is sometimes just a job, don't make it more important then your life.